Achrophobia
by chausettes et chauseurs
Summary: Everyone has secrets to hide, sins to atone for, and memories they would rather forget. Warning: Follows the path of an OC, and the first few chapters suck, but it DOES get much better. Arc: Pre-RotF through RotF. Reviews appreciated. Now Complete!
1. Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers, I probably never will, and this was merely written for entertainment.

Just a revamped version of chapter 1... it really sucked before, but now pretty satisfied with it.

* * *

"Check her out," Skids murmured to his twin after arriving at NEST headquarters in Diego Garcia. All around, they could see the curious squishy organic organisms scurrying around... but that was not what had interested the young cybertronian. No, it was a member of their own species that had attracted his attention: a sleek black femme. She was tall, with two small triangular antennae protruding from her helm, wings swept back along her dorsal side.

"Yous don't stand a chance wit her bro." Came Mudflap's reply, optics trained on her lithe form. She was walking away from a bulkier silver mech who, in every way, outclassed the newly arrived twins. She turned, putting a hand on her hip, frowning. "Man, look at that aft! Damn!"

"An' that chassis," Skids remarked. The female's head turned, as if to ward the silver mech away. She passed them, frown never leaving her attractive yet fierce faceplates, the mech still following her. "Bow chika bow wow." The twins muttered softly in unison.

The large silver mech appeared to have heard them, pausing to glare at them, "Back off." He told them darkly.

"Why don't you take your own advice, Sideswipe." Blandly suggested the femme, rolling her ice blue optice.

"That's completely different, you and I are spark-mates." He told her, a smug look on his face.

She grimaced, hand raising to her face as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. For a moment she was silent before she looked back up at him with a sickly sweet grin. "Here's an idea." She said sweetly, "Why don't you go fsck* yourself?"

She transformed into a sleek black Centennial before quickly driving over to the opposite side of the spacious hanger.

"I think you jus' got burned, dude." Mudflap commented. Sideswipe glanced at him, as if to say, "Recharge with one optic active." The blades on his arms glistened menacingly, words weren't necessary to convey a sense of contempt for the much smaller transformer. He receded slowly, folding himself into a Stingray.

"Why'd they get cool alt-modes when we's got a lousy ass ice cream truck?"

"Man, dis sucks!"

"Yeah, we don' even get ta see Optimus!"

"... We still get ta work wit dat sexy lady dough."

"Good point."

* * *

"Hey, Ratchet." Said the black centennial, parking beside the older cybertronian.

He looked down from logging the heap of raw materials to acknowledge the femme, "Vertigo."

"Why does he insist on pestering me?" She asked vaguely.

Returning his attention to the materials at hand, Ratchet answered her question. "Perhaps for the same reason that you chose to join us."

"For the good of humanity?" Joked Vertigo, knowing exactly what Ratchet had implied. "I understand that... I just don't understand why."

"He has taken a liking to you, it is not uncommon." The Autobot medic told her. She remained silent. Changing the subject, he commented on the meeting that was taking place, "What do think we should do about finding Starscream?"

"Oh..." The question caught her off guard, Vertigo hesitated before replying. "I'm not sure..."

Ratchet eyed her with concern. Optimus himself commented on her reply from the meeting. "We need this information, Virigo."

"I know," She complied. "He might not even be on Earth right now. He could have gone back to either this planet's moon or to Mars. If I knew where he was I could help out a little more..." Her mirrors twitched in uncharacteristic anxiety. "I'm sorry... I really wish I could be of more help on the matter, but unless I know his coordinates, I don't know what he would be plotting. Other than the usual 'Do what benefits me most' tactics."

"I understand." The leader responded thoughtfully. "Your input is welcomed."

Vertigo reverted back to her original form. "I'm sorry..." She repeated. For a moment it was silent, except for the noise of the humans conferencing. They were all blissfully unaware of her emotions, the turmoil within. She shoved it down, doing her best to keep her head clear of it all. A shudder went through her body, purging the doubt the crept into her mind. "I think I'll go ask Ironhide to train with me." Said the femme suddenly, sending a silent transmission over to the weapons specialist.

"Lethal or non-lethal?" Came a likewise silent response.

"Non. If that's not too much to ask." The transmissions ended with some casual banter. She waved to Ratchet before leaving the hangar, transforming into her centennial alt-mode. Vertigo sped up, approaching the drop-off into the ocean. Going at maximum speed she went over the edge, staying true to her name, she transformed once more, this time into an F-22 raptor. Executing a clean barrel roll, she did a quick turn around.

A projectile shot past her cockpit. "You can't wait until I say I'm ready?" She said, amusement tinting her voice.

"The 'Cons sure as hell won't." Replied Ironhide gruffly. "But you would know that, wouldn't you?"

"More than you could ever imagine." She did a half turn, flying sideways to avoid a stream of bullets. She looped around, heading back for a retaliation strike. Using a lightweight machine gun she peppered the ground with fire that glanced off of the dark outer armor of the older cybertronian.

A series of complicated loops proceeded as Ironhide shot a missile at her. It continued to follow her, right on her tail. She went into a steep climb at about an altitude of 3000 feet above sea level, she cut her engines, plummeting to Earth. Engines roared to life once more as slugs came in for the kill. She rolled, dived and shot across the ocean's surface like a speeding arrow, wing tip skimming the water. Vertigo loved flying, there was no feeling quite like it. The wind whistling past her, the freedom it presented, the thrill of higher speeds than any ground vehicle could attain. The female spun around, headed directly for Ironhide, pulling up barely ten feet from where he was standing. This process of dodging and retaliation lasted for a long while. Until Ironhide unleashed the last of his non-lethal rounds at once. A barrel roll reversing itself at it's peak inertia, a diagonal loop, a steep climb followed by an even steeper corckscrew dive, pulling up at the last possible moment, tail fin partially submerged. Another barrel roll and a loop around showed her that unless she wanted to deal with lethal rounds, her practice was done for now.

"That was an impressive show of skill." Came a voice from inside her head; a transmission from her leader. "On both of your parts."

"Thanks." She replied, all doubts purged from her cranial processor and personality component.

It was then that she noticed a small audience had gathered near the entrance to the hangar. Most of them drawn there by the sound of explosions. She transformed in mid-air, landing on the paved strip. She raised a hand greeting them with, "Hey."

Standing at 22.3 feet she towered over the two newest arrivals and the other three femmes in the vicinity. The Autobot symbol on her right shoulder was in gold while the other shoulder bore scorch marks and a silver sliver of paint. Her blue optics watched the small crowd recede back into the confines of the shelter. Her antennae twitched as she turned to face a large semi that seemed to watch her.

"It would be best for you to stay in an alt-mode outside of the hangar. I have told you this before, Virigo." The large peterbuilt reprimanded her lightly.

"I know, I know." the female responded, "but must you call me Virigo?"

"It is your proper name." Said Optimus.

Vertigo let it go, happy to merely be accepted. "It's time again, you know."

The truck was silent for a moment, "then recharge, you may leave in the morning."

She chose not to question why Optimus specified the morning even though she was just as capable at night. For her (other than questioning name choice) Questioning Optimus was not something that should be done. Vertigo complied and went back in the hangar, going into stasis until the morning.

* * *

Fsck*- file system check, basically checking a system for any errors that may be present.

I hope that you enjoyed it, the writing and plot gets better as the story goes on, but I do hope to redo the first few chapters over the next week and a half or so.


	2. Flight

Flight came to her naturally, shooting through the clouds was what she had been designed to do. The sun glinting off of her now matte-black stealth design. Speeds approaching Mach 2, she was the only thing out there for miles. Vertigo had already passed through the Japanese NEST base, stopping to refuel once. The journey was long, spanning from 48 to 60 hours.

Human culture was fascinating to the young Cybertronian and had assimilated into her cranial processor rather easily. She enjoyed their music, and spent her time up in the clouds listening to various forms of the Earth songs. She was told that Jazz had been a little like that too. The femme had never really known him.

Vertigo flicked through the radio stations, pausing every now and then when she heard a particularly engaging piece, wondering what music must have sounded like back on Cybertron... or if they had even had music at all. She remembered hearing some of her race humming, but wasn't quite sure if that would be considered music... many Cybertronians that she had met hummed merely as a form of communication. Especially seekers.

She resolved to ask someone about this the next opportunity that presented itself.

Spotting a cluster of submarines near the surface of the water, the triple changer let herself gradually loose altitude, coming up on her destination; the Arctic circle. The large submarines were idle, half submerged. "NEST reconnaissance-1 Vertigo. Status report." She transmitted through the crew's radio.

"S-172ZA, Captain Taylor Melbourne. It's all clear down here, no unusual activity to report." The captain responded to her call.

"That's good, though I have to admit that I doubt Starscream would be caught dead here." Vertigo said. She changed the subject, since protocol had been dealt with, "So, Taylor, how's it hanging? You were out last month."

"I finally had some time off, got to see my family. It was nice, little Jodi lost her first tooth. How about you, Vertigo? Is the new arrival still bothering you?"

"If you mean Sideswipe, then yes. But the others are great, I can't tell you how wonderful it is to finally have another femme around to talk to." She began scanning the surrounding ocean, noticing several gigantic organic blips on her radar. Further investigation found that it was a pod of whales, nothing that was out of the ordinary.

"I can imagine how you would feel."

"Yeah..." She sent another transmission out. "Optimus, I have reached the drop-point. I will continue with standard procedure."

"Understood," His voice replied in her head. "I will await further transmissions."

The information flowed freely from her processor along the link, including visuals and radar scans. Vertigo continued along the perimeter flying a few full circuits. Not detecting the presence of any decepticons after the fifth circuit, she bid farewell to the Captain and began to head back to the headquarters. "I'm coming back. E.T.A. is another 16.8 hours if I continue at my current velocity."

"We will see you then, take care, Virigo." Came the Autobot leader's reply.

A frustrated sigh escaped her vocal processor, keeping the link intact. "Again with the names..." She muttered exasperatedly.

"It is a good name for you. You carry it well." Opttimus told her, baritone voice remaining level.

"Given to me by my damned creator." She said softly, "War-like female, yeah, that's _really _a _great_ name..."

"That is only one meaning-"

Vertigo cut him off, "The meaning he wanted it to have."

"I choose to view it as Heroic femme." The Autobot leader continued, despite having been interrupted.

She was silent, wondering when she had ever been '_heroic_' in her 234 years of life. Deciding that it wasn't worth it, she complied. "I just want to forget that hell."

"I understand, but what a name once was and what it has now become can help to mold your future. Indeed though you were created with the intention of destruction, it does not have to be your primary nature. I have observed your actions from the time you decided to join the Autobot cause. You have never wavered in defending the life of this planet. You have not proved to be destructive for destructions sake, nor have you made war for war's violence. Though you may not consider yourself heroic, I have found your deeds to be nothing short of it." He explained to her. "You are no longer your creator's possession; but you will never be truly free if your thoughts still dwell upon the past."

The femme remained silent for a few moments, allowing his words to sink in. "... Thanks..." She murmured gratefully, enraptured and touched by his speech... and began to feel guilty for her outburst. "... I'm sorry for cutting you off earlier, I was out of line."

"Do not be sorry, questioning one's authority is a sign of intelligence. I was not offended by your outburst. It is natural for you to want to block out an unwanted past." Came his placating response.

"Thank you. I'm not sure where I would be now if you hadn't accepted me, Optimus." She was genuinely thankful to serve alongside the last Prime. Vertigo often wondered how she had survived without his guidance or understanding before.

"As I have said before, it is unwise to dwell on the past or 'what if'. Neither will do much other than deteriorate one's sanity, allowing them to pollute your thoughts would be foolish." Replied Optimus. "Fly safely, I will see you when you arrive."

"Yeah- Oh! Wait." The transmission ended, leaving Vertigo's questions unspoken. "Scrap... I really wanted to know about humming music..." Her wings drooped slightly, disgruntled sigh rumbling through her lithe form. "Damned distractions..."

The sun had set earlier- Vertigo admiring the sunset as it did of course- casting the world into an unending darkness with only the stars to break the monotony. Their reflection on the water gave the illusion of an unending expanse of space. This was her favorite time of each day, the dark of midnight. Although it reminded her of Mars, the inky black of an Earth night was somehow more hospitable, and when combined with the expanse of an ocean it created an otherworldly beauty that was unmatchable. The crisp night air drifted over her armor chilling her in a most pleasant way.

For hours Vertigo's flight continued. She was thankful to be a cybertronian on these long flights, any human craft would have run out of energy a while ago. The female had decided to skip the refueling station, trusting her reserves to take her back to Diego Garcia. She estimated that she would reach it in about five hours, not stopping had shaved about three hours off of the trip.

By the time dawn arrived she almost regretted not stopping. Her reserves were dangerously low, she would need a shock from Jolt when she got back... or a good stasis. Diego Garcia showed up on her radar, she radioed in, "It's NEST Reconnaissance-1 Vertigo, requesting permission to land."

"This is NEST Outpost Alpha, we hear you Vertigo, permission to land granted."

"Understood," Vertigo hated formalities and protocol, but knew when to obey them. The paved landing strip loomed before her. Landing lightly she transformed and headed into the hangar.

"Hey, Sexy." Came Sideswipe's usual greeting. She let out a noise of exasperation.

"Not again..." She muttered to herself.

"We should really spend more time together. We have a lot in common. I'm fast, you're fast, I'm sexy, you're sexy-"

She interrupted him, frown forming on her lip plates as she looked around the hangar, avoiding glancing at the silver mech. "So, Egomaniac, where's Optimus?" The distinct lack of the much larger Cybertronian was not easily dismissed from her processor.

Sideswipe grimaced, placing his powerful hands onto his hips. "Why do you always have to bring him up when I talk to you?" Distress tinted his vocals, though it was very faint.

"It usually disrupts your thought process," Vertigo replied bluntly. She scanned around the hangar, curiosity striking her. "But seriously, where is Optimus?"

"Ariella called a meeting about 20 minutes ago, I would assume that he's there." Trying to bring back the subject he was first speaking about he added, "So, as I was saying-"

The femme rounded on him, wings flaring out in an aggressive stance from their position on her back. "Must you always bring it back to 'flirting' with me?"

"Flirting?" He asked quizzically.

"It's a human term for courting." She answered, blue optics glaring at him in a _nearly_ pouting fashion...

Sideswipe shrugged, "I just think that it's irrational for you to deny that we were made for each other."

She shook her head in a very human-like fashion to convey her frustration with the silver male.

"Virigo," Vertigo heard Optimus' voice in her head. "We have possibly located Starscream."

Her cranial processor began to crunch the data that her leader transmitted into it, anxiety welling up once more.


	3. Leaving

Their optics locked, "Will you accompany us, Virigo?" Optimus asked her gently.

The female straightened her posture, looking confident. "Yes." She seemed determined, but the Autobot leader knew the anxiety and doubt gnawing at her processors, he wondered if he was even making the right decision asking her to come along. As he had told her, the Prime had been observing her actions from the moment that she joined the Autobots on Earth. At the mere mention of Starscream her optics would become unfocused and her movements skittish. In Mission City, she had purposefully avoided the Decepticon, refusing to provide air assistance saying that she would be more useful for ground cover. Optimus trusted her; if she preferred to avoid Starscream, then she must have had her reasons. But there was a war going on, he could not always shelter her. Vertigo was attuned to Starscream's movements, reasonings, and could hold to be a crucial factor in ending this battle. This war.

"We will be leaving for Zambia at 0400 hours." He placed a large silver armored hand on her shoulder, avoiding the scars lurking beneath the surface. "Go recharge, you look as if you're about to collapse."

She managed a smile, sapphire optics regarding him shyly. "Yes, sir." Her voice was soft, carrying with it a sort of weariness that one did not expect to come from a 'bot her age.

Optimus blinked, nodding to her in turn. Then the larger Cybertronian turned, leaving the young femme to her own devices. Vertigo stared vaguely after him for a moment, wondering where she would be able to find a quiet place for an unbroken rest.

Transforming she headed over to the corner where Ironhide had begun to stockpile the synthetic energon that Ratchet had begun to create from whatever he could. "Mind if I stay here until we leave?" She asked the weapons specialist.

"I don't have a problem with it," Replied the older transformer, casting her an apathetic look as he took a swig from the cube in his hands. "Though I don't remember this ever being a significantly special place as to recharge here."

She sighed, "No one will bother me over here."

"You mean Sideswipe won't bother you over here." He stated, vocals tinted with amusement, remembering when he himself had been a young mech.

A noise of agreement escaped Vertigo's vocal processors. No one else had ever bothered her.

The femme shuddered, shutting down as best as she could; finding the prospect of stasis to be welcome. However her processors were still reeling, refusing to let her body recharge as fully as it should have. The mere thought of facing Starscream again sent a wave of dread through her entire being. The thought of him even seeing her, feeling her presence was enough to make the black siding of the corvette to ripple with her fear. Why hadn't she refused to accompany them on the mission in the first place? Optimus would have understood. He always understood... even when she couldn't even begin to comprehend something. That was why they all followed his instructions.

But, she hadn't refused and now she had to deal with her decisions; all of them. This was the path that Vertigo had chosen for herself and whatever happened she promised herself not to fail the Autobots, Optimus, or the humans that she had grown fond of. Even if it meant divulging what had once been entrusted to her.

* * *

A nudge from Ironhide activated the last of Vertigo's circuits. She unfolded herself, a shudder rippling through her servos. "Time already?" She asked anxiously, helm twisting up so that she could gaze at the large mech.

Ironhide nodded, letting out a deep grunt. "The C-17s will be here momentarily."

Her optics widened, frown claiming her features. "I'm not flying?"

"No," Replied another voice from behind her. The triple changer spun around to face her leader, visor plates rising in innocent confusion. "You will need to conserve your energy. You know that Starscream is a worthy opponent. Also the likelihood of other decepticons with him is extremely high. It is best that you do not fly there unaided."

"Oh... right..." Just hearing the words issuing from his mouth was enough to make the seriousness of the situation hit her like a punch from devestator. The sound of wheels hitting the runway made the gravity of her situation settle in even more, and the darkly armored femme began to fidget; shifting her weight from foot to foot. There was no turning back as she approached the C-17. Optimus followed closely behind her, doing his best to transmit a sense of confidence to her. She cast a glance at him, "I'm fine." Murmured the female softly, doing her best to smile... she knew it must have looked strained.

He nodded, severing the connection. Refolding herself into her centennial alt-mode she entered the large aircraft. The sports car pulled in, parking parallel to the barrier opposite the opening, and the Autobot leader slid in after her, followed by Ratchet, Ironhide, Salvage, and Beachbreak.

"I hate cramped spaces..." Vertigo stated as the boarding ramp lifted back to close the gaping entrance to the aircraft's interior.

"It will be over soon enough," Reasoned Optimus. He noticed her mirrors twitching and a shiver run the length of her body. Again, the question ran through his processors: _Would she be able to cope with this mission?_ Vertigo was strong and nothing less than valiant, she had dealt with much more than anyone of her age should have. But how much would it take to throw her over the edge? To make her crack? Of that he was unsure.

It was silent for a moment as the crew checked and rechecked the transport. Vertigo took that time to analyze the area. There were four humans on board with them. She could name only two of them: Lennox and Epps. The other two were complete strangers to her. A blond haired, fair skinned male and a darker haired, Asian female. She could tell that the female seemed to be quite interested in her.

"Hello," The human said to her in a foreign accent. She walked closer to the black corvette, "I don't believe we have met. I am Kaminari Ishihara."

"I'm Vertigo." Replied the Cybertronian, internally agreeing that she had never made the acquaintance of this human before. "Not to sound rude, but why are you joining us? I don't recognize you."

Kaminari laughed, "My government sent me here to study the Autobots. I am part of NEST now."

"Okay," Vertigo responded thoughtfully.

"Would you be offended if I were to ask you a few questions?" The human inquired, dark almond eyes lighting up with her curiosity. The femme could see the intrigue rolling off of her human counterpart in waves.

"Probably not," admitted the transformer. "Go ahead."

She seemed ecstatic, barely containing her excitement by this proposal. "You're voice is more feminine than the other Autobots that I have worked with. Does this mean that you are a female in comparison? Do you have defined gender barriers, or is it more of a choice of preferences?"

The femme seemed stunned by the human's question choice and hesitated before replying. "I am a female in the sense that you mean it, yes... and I really don't have much more of a choice of my gender than you do. I mean, there are genderless Cybertronians out there, but for the most part gender isn't really a choice."

The female's eyes widened, smile threatening to crack her face. "Fascinating!" Kaminari exclaimed. "Does this mean that you can reproduce sexually?"

The question struck Vertigo off guard and she hesitated. "Um, there are a couple of different ways... to reproduce... We can clone ourselves through budding... I'm not exactly sure how that one works out, but I'm pretty sure that's the basic principle Soundwave used to create his... offspring... Then We can be built; that's how I was made. Under very certain circumstances we can be recycled, but without the Allspark that's virtually impossible now... Or..." She trailed off, trying to find the right words. "...as you stated before... yes, for all intents and purposes we can reproduce as you humans say... sexually." The femme winced as the words slipped from her vocal processor. Dear Primus why, why, _why_ did _she_ have to be the one to explain this?

The foreign scientist was enraptured, oblivious to the shame radiating off of the femme. "Does that mean that _you _could essentially reproduce with any of the males on base? What do the offspring look like? How does mating even work in a mechanical species such as the Autobots?"

Vertigo decided that she should have just remained quiet and acted like a normal vehicle when she'd had the chance. Today was not her best for decision making. She could tell that the questions had put Optimus on guard; which was understandable considering the condition in which Optimus had first found her. "Sparklings are our... offspring. They're small and um... fragile. Mates... Ummm... how do I put this...?" She paused, then continued with, "When a mech and a femme are mutually attracted to each other..." Vertigo felt like she was dying, wheels twitching in her embarassment. "Look, I _really_ don't feel comfortable explaining the circuits and the diodes. Shouldn't you already know about the process? I mean, doesn't your species have entire courses dedicated to just teaching your young about mating?"

Kaminari bowed apologetically, eyes widening as she realized the awkward position that she had put the femme in. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I was just very curious after hearing that there was a distinct male and female-"

"It's all good." The corvette centennial sighed, trying to forget that she had just had this conversation. "Ratchet is much more qualified to explain about sparking and sparklings than I am. I would prefer not to discuss this further though."

"Of course."

Vertigo changed the subject in an attempt to lighten the tense atmosphere. "So, who's your friend? I don't remember seeing him either."

The Oriental woman looked over to the man that Vertigo had mentioned. "That is Petr Andronov. He is a leader in mechanical and artificial intelligence from Russia."

"I love how humans often count mechanical intelligence to be artificial. As if they are the only sentient beings out there." Remarked the centennial blandly.

The human smiled knowingly, "I can understand your contempt for such a thought. I would certainly be upset if someone were to consider me lower than themselves."

It was quiet once more, allowing Vertigo to analyze her thoughts. She perused through whatever information came to her about Zambia; a rural area of Africa. What would Starscream want there? The geography of the place did little to aid her processors in solving her problem. There was a large river there, the Victoria falls, safari, very few towns and a large dam. _Think Vertigo_, she told herself. _What does Starscream want more than anything right now? _The answer was simple. Security. He wanted to destroy the Autobots... or render them incapable of functioning. To do that he would need followers. But she knew the Decepticons; most would rather die than follow Starscream. He would need to handicap the Autobots and force them into hiding, into a position where human governments would deny them refuge. To do so he would need to produce something that would damage the general public and make it seem that the Autobots were unable to defend the humans or stop the Decepticons. But what...?

* * *

Wow, am I glad that I finally went through and redid this chapter. It was just too much content, and I had rushed through it. It's much better now though... hopefully.

Don't forget to review: each one is like a legal drug that turns me into a giggling schoolgirl. 8D


	4. Savanna

Vertigo was fascinated by the land that she now found herself in. Everything was flat, the sky met the horizon on a level plain. The sun touched the ground casting long thin shadows that seemed to stretch out as if to grab her. Trees were sparse and dwarfed, probably shorter even than some of the palm trees back at the base. A herd of elephants gathered around one such tree, pulling off leaves and branches with their elongated noses. Their outward appearance amused Vertigo greatly, causing her to laugh aloud. Another creature resembling a horse with a comical set of opposing black and white stripes raced past them. Her processors told her it was a zebra. The savanna reminded her of what the humans would call a madhouse. A strange plain of stunted trees filled with bizarre animals with horns, trunks, gigantic necks, and rock-like skins. In a country such as this, a sleek concept model would stick out in peoples' memories. A color change was in order. Allowing her circuits to heat up, she felt as though a gentle wave were washing over her exterior. Starting with the hood, the metal began to turn a dull unsanded gray. It soon spread over her entire guise, her front left fender was a darker shade of hematite. Around the edges of her exterior she allowed a red rust brown to creep up her sides a small amount. Although she knew it was necessary, Vertigo did not enjoy the fact that she was less striking.

"How did you just do that?" Kaminari asked the now dull centennial. "I was taught that autobots must scan a vehicle before changing into something different. Even color."

Vertigo's voice resonated from under the hood. "I am the youngest of a generation built to fight in the war. I was built using extremely advanced circuitry, my chameleon circuits are the most advanced out of them. Most of my body is built out of interchangeable components." She paused, as if considering something. "It is difficult to describe... Perhaps if you ever meet my creator then you could ask him about the details. "He could probably explain my systems much more adequately than I can... of course, he would more than likely deem you a pathetic insect and destroy you first though." Mused the female autobot.

The Japanese woman was about to ask another question but was cut off by Epps. "C'mon, Sailor Moon, we gotta get moving. We ain't got all the time in the world." Kaminari cast him an irritated look, but hastily climbed into the cab of the big diesel.

A sudden influx of information flooded her main processor, "This is the information that Lennox was able to collect, do any of the local reports match up with any decepticons you can recall?" Optimus' voice accompanied the data. "I have already screened the information. None of the survivors' descriptions match Starscream."

"He wouldn't reveal himself so quickly in a conflict. He would be watching from the sidelines. What he lacks in strength he manages to complete through his wit. Starscream is not stupid, he knows when to hide and when to show himself..." She carefully analyzed the reports, "One of them's Payload, there's no doubt about that, one of the other's sound like Macerator, but I'm not positive about that. I'm not sure about the third... sorry."

"There is no need to be apologetic, Virigo. You did well in identifying 2 of them."

His praise created a warm glow in her spark, it was something that she hadn't gotten used to.

The road that they were traveling was unpaved and rough. Vertigo took up the rear with Ratchet, in front of them was Salvage with Beachbreak riding on his back, in front of them was Ironhide, Optimus drove point. The humans all rode with him, their conversation focused on the task at hand. Vertigo was lost in her thoughts. What was Starscream up to in a place such as this? She knew him well and he had never been one for sightseeing. But what was he after? The thought puzzled her. If he had really wanted to deal damage why hadn't Starscream headed for Europe or America? Why this hick backwater location? What did he see here that she didn't? She analyzed the reports again, they appeared to be after energon, but this was one of the least likely places for it on this planet. Nothing added up...

"We have a lock on their location!" Rang out Epp's voice after an hour of continuous driving. "Their only 2 kilometers ahead of us, we just need to turn left off the main road in about 200 feet."

"This is a main road?!" Vertigo could hear Kaminari's disbelief.

The distant roar of the Zambezi reminded her of a jet engine. "Optimus, should I scout out up ahead?" Inquired the female hopefully.

"No, if all goes well we may not need your assistance." Came his reply.

"Are you sure? I still owe Payload a good shot in the afterburners."

The autobot leader sounded amused by her response. "I am quite sure, Virigo."

"...fine." She stated reluctantly. The female focused her optics on the endless expanse ahead of her. "I can see them. Yeah, that's definitely Macerator and there's Dropkick... I owe him a good kick in the gearbox..." She muttered crossly. Ironhide seemed to enjoy this comment.

"What did he do?" He asked.

"Let's not go into details, eh?" Vertigo ended the conversation, allowing the battle plans to flow freely into her mind. She veered off the road, coming to a full stop 450 feet from the Zambezi river. Transforming she allowed the red scope on her face sheild to cover her right eye, cross hairs trained on the enemy. Salvage was beside her in a moment, Beachbreak right behind him. Vertigo felt useless as Optimus, Ironhide and Ratchet all charged into the river to meet the three decepticons. Missiles of all sizes collided with the banks, the humans scattered only to regroup in a different place.

Beside her, Beachbreak was moving around anxiously, irritated that he wasn't in on the action. Vertigo silently agreed with him, she would give anything to be helping to defeat the 'cons. Especially considering her background contempt for two of the one's that had been encountered. She was itching inside of her armor, electricity coursing quickly through her body in frustration. She wanted to fight, not to watch others. However she forced herself to stand still, canon focused on Payload. If anything went wrong, she was prepared, ready to intervene.

The rush of the Victoria falls would have been deafening had she been a human. Fortunately her audio receptors could take the high decibels. But the sound wasn't what was distracting her, it was the absence of Starscream. Where was he? What was he planning? Why wasn't he here? Were the decepticons they now faced even loyal to Starscream? If so, why wasn't he here with them? Though it caused her relief to know that he wasn't here at the moment and that she wouldn't have to face him for now, it also grieved her to know that their hunt for him would still progress even if they didn't find him here in Zambia. Again, the question struck her, where could he be? The answer seemed simple in her mind, Starscream wanted to avoid confrontation. He didn't want to lose his spark, his life, or even an arm. He preferred others to do the work for him. He could wait for years, until they had all but stopped looking for him. But by then, he would have no followers, a duck sitting in open water just waiting to be picked off. There was a reason he had shown himself to NEST. He had wanted to be discovered, which meant that this was more than likely a trap of some sort. Starscream had something up his sleeve, but what?

The battle progressing before her made little sense to her processors. Cannons had given way to an awkward half-submerged wrestling match. By the looks of it, the decepticons were taking the worst of the damage... and they were missing a lot of openings as their autobot counterparts struck them repetitively. The more Vertigo watched them, the less sense it made. It appeared to her as if all the 'cons were doing was clinging to her comrades, weighing them down. She heard Beachbreak mutter a low oath and turned to look at him; only he wasn't there. Instead, he was racing around in his terrestrial mode with the two foreign scientists on his back. They were firing at the decepticons... except Macerator who had disappeared along with Optimus. Vertigo tightened her focus, where had they gone? Her main processor predicted that they had flowed downstream into the thick fog. The fog that surrounded the Victoria falls. The answer hit her. Hard.

"Shit!" The human word found itself in her vocal processors before any cybertronian curse. Vertigo surveyed the skies quickly, fearing the worst as Ironhide, Ratchet and the two other decepticons retreated form each other heading for the shores. There he was, mere seconds away. Starscream. And his pan was unfolding itself beautifully before his optical lenses.


	5. Remembering

"GET OUT OF THERE!" Screeched Vertigo over the radio. She knew that Optimus Prime was powerful, perhaps the most powerful cybertronian that she knew. But this was not an ideal situation and she doubted that her leader would be able to win this fight. Transforming in 0.8 seconds flat she gained speed in her corvette alt-mode; taking a dive off of the edge of the cliffs. She refolded herself once again in midair this time to an F-22 raptor, reverting her color back to a matte-black. It was none too soon as she watched Optimus fall over the edge. It struck fear into her, taking a steep climb reaching him in a matter of nanoseconds. "Grab on!" She commanded.

"No, at this rate it will only drag both of us down." Came his calm reply, tumbling past her. His statement caused her to cut the engines, falling back down after him. She could sense Starscream mere feet to her left, plucking Macerator out of the air to carry him to safety. Shooting past him once again she felt helpless against the massive falls roaring around her. Vertigo scanned around her, noticing that Optimus had stopped falling, clinging to a large piece of the basalt bedrock that jutted out of wall of water. She looped around, coming in from the side. A plan formed inside her processor and she let it flow to her leader; she would arc around at supercruise hitting him parallel to the ground, letting the inertia carry them safely from the Victoria falls and the river. Again, he refused. "What you are forgetting is that the drop will still be 200 feet and there would be no water to cushion the fall. I can not have you severely injured for my mistakes and shortcomings." His voice was gentle but stern, "Regroup with the others."

Vertigo darted back and forth, shifting from raptor to robot then back to raptor again. "I'm not leaving! If you go down then I go down too!" She responded tenaciously, but with an urgent seriousness that created both an overwhelming sense of gratitude and frustration in her leader.

"Do not speak such foolishness. You are still young and have much to learn, return to the others. I will be fine." Optimus told her more forcefully.

"_No_! I will _not_ leave!" Replied Vertigo. "You pulled me out of hell, I'm not just leaving you here!" She made another circuit around him. Sensing his intentions, the female's anxiety fired up to levels that could have easily given her a spark-attack. "Don't you dare let go of that rock!"

"Optimus," They heard Ratchet's voice over a transmission. "We have a lock on your location. Hang on, we're sending a cable down." The plans flooded into Optimus' cranial processor as Vertigo continued to fly to and fro, refusing to join the others. The cable was military grade, strong enough to hold his weight as he let go of the rock that had broken his fall. He swung in a wide arc, nearly crashing into the floor of the river a few times. When he stopped swinging, he was clear of the strongest currents. The female, realizing that the crisis was not averted jetted past him, landing on the heavily vegetated island that split the river in half. She grabbed the cord, filing in beside her comrades in order to hoist Optimus free from the dangerous falls. Behind her, Beachbreak reeled in the slack as it came, servos straining to their limits with the effort. The task was taking it's toll on his body. Vertigo felt a deep gratitude towards the smaller autobot, accomplishing something that she could not.

When She saw Optimus' hand coming over the precipice she allowed some of her anxiety to diminish. And when his entire body came over the ledge Vertigo let out a sigh of relief. A shiver ran lightly down her backbone infrastructure expelling the last of her horrific thoughts. Turning to Beachbreak she gave him a gentle shove of appreciation. From across the watery expanse she heard the humans whoop in joy. Though the war had been far from won, their small battle seemed to have ended in a sweet, though unorthodox, victory. They had foiled Starscream's plans, and that was enough for Vertigo. Her optics located the humans, river only separating them by approximately 85 feet. It would be easy enough for them to get back, a swift jump from any of them could carry them that far. All except for Beachbreak, who was only half of Vertigo's size on the best of days. Ironhide solved the problem by hefting the small transformer onto his shoulders, a human sign of triumph that Beachbreak fully deserved. They leapt, as if they were one entity, Vertigo landing on the shore bank first.

A howl of rage pierced her audio receptors and she turned around, startled... to watch as Starscream dove down from the air, throwing Beachbreak over the ledge of water. Reacting on instinct, she transformed once again, streaking after the small autobot. Vertigo plummeted, transforming as she was about to reach him, out thrusting one arm to grab hold of his hand. Her fingers closed on nothing and he continued falling, impaled upon a sharp rock that broke the water's surface. The light from his optics became dimmer... and dimmer... and dimmer... until it vanished completely. And like that, he was gone. Leaving a feeling of nothingness inside of Vertigo. It was as if she had become soundproof, hearing nothing but the sound of electricity coursing through her metallic body. She could do nothing, nothing at all to bring him back. Broken, she headed slowly back towards the others, landing without realizing that she had completed two transformations somewhere in between.

Everyone looked expectantly at her, she didn't trust her vocal processors to create something coherent and shook her head numbly. She had failed. She had allowed a friend to die. If she had been a human, she would have spurt fluid from her eyes in sorrow. But seeing as she was not, Vertigo contented to stare blankly out at the horizon.

There had been a deeply rooted bond between her and Beachbreak. A mutual goal; the need to prove themselves. For him, his size. For her, her past. Though they had never spoken very much, they did share a common interest, something that connected them beyond the boundaries of stature or time, drawing them closer. Beachbreak had only been a few hundred years older than Vertigo and had understood the awkward process of aging, of becoming wiser, of learning how to deal with certain situations that plagued those of the newest generation. His death came as a slap in the face to the female. The haunting image as her fingers closed around this air, the screeches of protest from his circuits as they bent and broke around the jagged basalt, every droplet of water on his face, every diode smashed to pieces. The sense of emptiness as their mental connection faded.

Vertigo turned, servos drained by the days events. Her joints felt stiff and frozen as she headed over to where Optimus sat, staring out into the southern sky. His expression pained her... she felt responsible for it. The female collapsed next to him, more exhausted than she had ever been in her life. She leaned against him, a gesture that she normally would have avoided and a gesture that caught Optimus off guard. It was an action that showed weakness and a need to know that she wasn't alone. When he had first met her, she would never have come into such close contact with him. In return, he tentatively wrapped an arm around her shoulders, something that he had witnessed the humans do to try to provide support to each other, expecting her to shirk away from his touch. When she did not, he felt reassured that perhaps Vertigo had begun to fully trust him. It was ironic that loss drew them all closer, a closeness that Optimus had never imagined possible.

"... I'm sorry..." Whispered Vertigo softly, voice filled with unmasked anguish.

"You did your best, if anyone is to blame, it is me. I should have been better prepared." Came his gentle reply. "It is not your fault."

It was silent for a moment, a silence that was welcoming and forgiving. Vertigo took in a long, slow breath, feeling more safe than she had since she had been built. The cost was what caused her despair. "If I hadn't hesitated for that split second, he would still be here."

"We shall never know what would have happened, we only have know what is." Optimus murmured, as much to himself as to the young transformer beside him. She was quiet, head resting on his shoulder plate. "To ponder what would have happened will only destroy you from the inside. It is difficult to accept, I know, but you must learn to forgive yourself."

The silence settled in once more as she numbly contemplated his words. When she spoke once more, it was to say, "I can't, I told myself that I wouldn't hesitate to fight him, but I did. It nearly cost you your life and Beachbreak..." She trailed off.

"Perhaps if you told me why you have always hesitated to fight Starscream, I could be able to help you..." Suggested the autobot leader gently. "And even if I could not help with the situation, I would be able to better understand it so as to avoid another incident such as today's"

"I'm not sure that you'd like what you find." She mused cynically. "I don't like 90 percent of what's in there myself. But, you do have a right to know what troubles me."

He rest his head on her own, cables connecting their processors. She accessed her datatrax and shards of memories flashed inside of Optimus' head.

_Pain. Anger. Fear_. An image of a dented and beaten Vertigo lying among heaps of scrap metal. She was neither conscious nor unconscious but in a profound in-between state. A large metal hand grabbed her arm, hoisting her out from among the junk to stand on her own two feet. Energy began to flow through her body from an outside source and she awakened. "Are you okay?" Asked the male who had brought her back. Vertigo looked up into the face of Starscream, doing her best to smile.

"I'm fine." She answered, "I managed to resist again."

The scene gave way to another memory fragment flooding Optimus' cranial processor. An image of Vertigo in flight, seeming much less comfortable in the air than she did now. A line of bullets barely missed her armor. She seemed full of joy at avoiding them, not concentrating on the missile that headed directly for her vital components. Noticing too late, she swerved but was hit and she crashed toward the surface of the planet. Vertigo collided head on, severely damaged, a tall figure stood over her, though her vision became blurry she could see a hint of satisfaction on his face.

"You deserved it." Came the voice of Barricade.

Memory after memory of pain and hatred poured out of her datatrax, the only semi-humane memories those that contained Starscream. It was not what Optimus had expected. "Why must you resist your purpose?" A cold, deep, menacing voice drifted through her audio receptors. She looked up at the dark silhouette, backed into a corner. _Fear. Despair. Pain. _Her optics regarded him with pure defiance despite her situation.

"Because I don't want this." She said meekly. Sharp pain exploded in her processors as a blow collided with her face. Optimus felt anger and sympathy seeping through his spark at the scene. Vertigo did not deserve this. She had been right in calling it a hell. A staff pierced her leg-

The image changed rapidly. A hand drifted lightly over her leg, trailing her servos delicately. _Anxiety._ Her body squirmed in discomfort. "Stop moving so much," Starscream chided softly. "I promise this won't hurt."

_"_But what if he finds out?" Optimus did not want to witness anymore of what her memory was now unfolding. It made him uneasy. He almost wished that it had been fear that made her hesitate, not a lingering attachment. He would have given anything to forget this moment of intimacy.

Starscream's hand grasped hers firmly, "He won't" He replied darkly. _Reassurance. Terror._

The memory halted abruptly, Vertigo quickly cutting the connection and backing away from Optimus. She had not intended to disclose that moment, no one was meant to know what had happened there. It troubled her that she had shown it; and not to just anyone, to Optimus. "I've got to go think." She muttered quickly then turned and walked away despite her aching servos.

As Optimus watched her go, he did so with regret. Regret for the loss of a trusted comrade. And regret for the damage to a closeness that could never be repaired. For once, he wished that he hadn't wanted to help with her problem.

Why had she thought of that memory? Why did it have to resurface when Optimus could see it? Her processors were confused. Confused and troubled at what her leader now knew. Vertigo knew that he had a right to know, especially after taking her in. But, no one had known about it, no one should have known about it. Her thoughts turned to Starscream. She had left him there when she left to join the autobots. She hadn't said goodbye, not a word to him, he hadn't known what she had planned. It had been a difficult decision to make but she couldn't take that hell any longer. If she hadn't left... the thought disturbed her. And so did Starscream. He was angry with her, Vertigo knew that much. But not as angry as she was with him. He had nearly killed Optimus and he had taken Beachbreak's life. He had nearly shattered her world. Starscream should have known by now; Vertigo did not forgive and she never forgot. She would extract her vengeance upon him. He would feel her wrath.


	6. Kariba

Vertigo sat watching the horizon, curled into what the humans would call the fetal position. The events of the day played out in her mind, haunting her datatrax. It was painful to think about Beachbreak. How, if only she had been faster, she could have saved him.

The entire thing seemed like a horrible and unimaginable story from a youngling who had heard too many tall tales and had a little too much energon the night before. Nothing added up in her processors. Even Starscream had not acted in a predictable manner, other than setting a trap for the autobots. First, he had risked himself to save Macerator instead of letting him crash to the ground. Then, he had only stopped long enough to throw Beachbreak over the edge of the falls. He had not fired a single missile or dropped a bomb. He hadn't even stopped to gloat over killing the smaller autobot. His actions had been very uncharacteristic. Vertigo began to wonder if he had changed since she had left. Had she affected him that profoundly? No, there was no way that she had. He had lived much too long to have been much affected by her. He was plotting something. There must have been somewhere that Starscream needed to be. And he must have needed Macerator to accomplish something. He hadn't changed at all. What was he up to? Her processors sifted through all the information she knew about the portions of Zambia where Starscream had flown off to.

The Zambezi continued in that direction, flowing toward a gigantic dam; the Kariba. The source of the entire area's electricity. If it happened to break, the consequences would be catastrophic, causing billions of dollars in damage repair, thousands of human lives to be lost, and a massive blackout across most of Zambia and neighboring countries. It would also submerge lower organic lifeforms that humans wanted to protect. If Starscream happened to destroy the dam and the autobots were unable to stop it... they would no longer be welcomed by the world governments and NEST would be disbanded. That's what Screamer was after. She needed to tell the others what she had discovered. Vertigo unfurled herself, standing up and walking back to where the others mourned together.

Lennox looked up from talking to Optimus, giving her a light nod. She tried to smile back, but found that she couldn't. "Optimus," she spoke. "I think I know what Starscream is up to."

"Please proceed." He replied, optics regarding her with a mixture of trust and concern that racked her with guilt.

"The dam, Kariba. He's going to destroy the Kariba down river." Her gaze held steady. He nodded gently, silently thanking Primus that Vertigo was able to cope with everything going on. "It will cause tremendous amounts of collateral damage, including that of another dam; Cahorra Bassa. That's what he's after. If he succeeds, thousands upon thousands of organic lifeforms would be lost. He may not hate humans, but it would not bother his conscience. It would also prove that he is strong enough to openly oppose NEST and the autobots. Countries would not be as willing to support us, hindering our abilities to function here on Earth." She turned to Epps, "Is a satellite in position?"

"On it," The dark skinned male called back to her, gazing at the screen of his armored laptop. A few moments later he spoke once more, "NEST five is in position and scanning." The humans began to crowd around him, Vertigo hung back, looking on as Petr Andronov pointed a finger at the screen.

"There!" He exclaimed. "Hold on that traffic."

Epps gave him a questioning look. "What do think you see? The image isn't clear enough for a positive ident. That could be a logging truck."

"Those can not be logs. But they could be the barrels of guns."

"What makes you so sure?" Epps asked the Russian scientist.

"There are no trees that large around that part of Zimbabwe." Petr replied flatly. Vertigo could see the outline of the truck they had begun to watch. Silently agreeing with the tall blond human, the image reminded her of Payload. The satellite began to travel up the road, scanning the vehicles traveling along it. Many of them were pickups and one was traveling at exactly at the same velocity as the supposed Payload. She listened on as a discussion of what to do began to arise.

Ratchet noted on the pickup, "That's Dropkick."

Epps frowned at the laptop screen's image. "Can you be sure? There are several pickups on this road."

"But only one is moving in tandem with the truck. Why should a vehicle capable of much greater speeds move neither faster nor slower than the truck behind it, but rather at the exact same velocity?"

The dark human was silent as Optimus began to speak. "Ratchet is right, the vehicles are moving in tandem, but apart so as to not draw attention to themselves." He placed on massive finger on Petr's shoulder. "When considered together with the preceding botanical observation, I think the observation is accurate. We are looking at Payload and Dropkick."

"They're headed south." Epps pointed out, looking over at Vertigo. "Kariba and Cahorra Bassa are south."

"Then we must go there as well." The autobot leader replied, turning his attention to the female cybertronian beside him. "Your supposition can not be taken lightly. It certainly sounds like something Starscream would not hesitate to do."

Lennox nodded, "It's decided then, we'll head north to the air base in Lusaka and fly down to the airstrip nearest to Kariba."

"No," Optimus told him lightly. "I have already calculated the times and distances involved, it would be quicker if we were to travel in our terrestrial modes." He arose, meeting the expectant gazes of his fellow comrades. "Autobots, transform and roll out!"

Vertigo felt the weariness in each one of her joints, but forced herself to refold into a raptor. Her preferred terrestrial mode. When her leader did not object, she took off, looping through the air in order to stay close to her companions. They traveled down river at speeds Vertigo found to be excruciatingly boring. But up in the air she was left alone to her painful thoughts.

For once, she almost wished that Sideswipe were there to interrupt her mind. He would have been able to lighten her mood some, even if she did find him to be bothersome. His casual flirtatious banter would have been welcome over the horrible thoughts ripping her apart now. She wondered why she had even chosen to go on this terrifying mission. Had it been to prove herself? If it had, then her plan had failed miserably so far, if anything she felt as though she were walking on more eggshells than when she had arrived.

"Can you spot them?" Optimus transmitted.

She tightened her focus, optics scouting out for miles ahead. She could see the decepticons in their terrestrial modes, heading down the opposite side. Macerator had already arrived at the dam, proving her suspicions correct. "Yeah. We'd better hurry." Came her serious reply. "I could go dive bomb them-"

"No," He replied. "The chances of you surviving that would be very slim. I will not lose you today also."

She sighed in acceptance, executing a corkscrew through the air. She went into a steep climb to kill the time, then dove pulling to the right just as she was about to hit the ground. Vertigo dropped out of the air, transforming into a centennial in order to conserve energy. Rejoining the group, she drove alongside Ironhide, frustrated that they did not all have auto-gyros and thus were not able to fly.

It took a long time to reach the dam, and when they finally had, they could hear the shouts and screams of the native people trying to fend off the decepticons. Vertigo transformed quickly, battle mask slipping over her face and red cross-hairs over her left optic. A firm grip on her shoulder stopped her from running into battle. She turned her head to look at Optimus.

Their optics locked, "Unless it is absolutely necessary, do not engage in this battle." She opened her mouth to protest but was silenced when Optimus raised a visor plate. Reluctantly she stayed quiet while he spoke. "You will monitor the battle and keep a look-out for Starscream. If any decepticons try to escape, stop them. Understood?"

"But-"

"Understood?" His deep voice was forceful and left no room for argument.

"Yes." She murmured.

Hearing the response that he was looking for, he charged into battle. Vertigo watched him go, frown firmly set in place. "You'd better kick some decepticon aft out there!"

She knelt down, left arm sporting a mid-size cannon which she raised and had trained on the battle ahead of her. Her visor plates narrowed in frustration. How would she be able to prove herself if she couldn't fight?

A small warm hand came to rest on one of her legs. "You do not like sitting around watching other people fight in battles when you yourself can't." Stated Kaminari from beside her.

When Vertigo replied her voice was soft, almost mournful. "I just don't understand why he would rather have me on the sidelines monitoring the battle instead of fighting alongside them. Doesn't he trust me in battle? Haven't I shown strong capabilities during training? Why won't he let me fight unless it is absolutely necessary?"

The scientist made a soft noise of agreement. "I know how you feel."

But Vertigo wasn't sure that Kaminari really did understand, at least not the full extent of it. The battle progressed and she watched on in frustration.

An earth shattering blast hit the Kariba dead center. It was not strong enough to blast fully through it, but it was enough to start chipping away at the massive man-made structure. Vertigo watched as another blast hit. And another. And another. Until the dam began to leak water. She trained her weapon on the culprit, sending an explosive projectile to Payload's exterior.

The leak began to undergo repairs when Ratchet reached it. Instead of hitting the dam, the next blast hit him. Feeling that the time had come to intervene, Vertigo took the form of a raptor and headed into battle. Her targeting systems all trained on Payload, ready for a direct hit.


	7. Fighting

**A/N: I have to admit that the lack of reviews has cast me into a depressed slump. :( It only takes 5 seconds of your life and it makes me feel a whole heck of a lot better about my stories. The only reason that I've even continued writing is because my little brother has been threatening me. So please, kind readers whom I love dearly, if you could find it in your hearts and/or sparks to review, it would be tremendously appreciated. Thank you.**

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Vertigo hit the afterburners, cruising at speeds of Mach 2.7 she transformed 100 feet from payload, crashing into the larger decepticon. The collision was messy, painful, and caused them both to tumble about 1000 feet from Payloads original position. She untangled herself quickly, despite the stinging pain coursing throughout her body. Leaping, she shot a mid-size blast in his direction, skidding as she hit the soil. Still disoriented, she crouched down trying to regain her balance. Payload twitched, slowly getting to his feet. He glared at her with his cold red optics.

"Resorting to surprise attacks. How very decepticon in action, Virigo." He mused darkly.

Vertigo aimed another blast at him. Ducking down, it merely grazed his shoulder plate. "Don't ever compare me to you again." Her voice was filled with a menace that told of a deep rooted anger.

"Touchy, aren't we." He replied, sending a powerful blast that caught her square in the chest. She was sent flying, landing sprawled on her back and dazed. Shaking her head to clear it, she leapt up barely avoiding a follow up shot. Vertigo charged him, dodging a punch to the face. Unsheathing a blade from her arm, she sunk it into a weak spot in his armor. Payload howled in rage, batting her away with a powerful swipe. She landed on her feat, jumping to avoid another blast. Her processors told her that this was not a battle that she could win. But she had to try. Vertigo fired another projectile at him, hitting his shoulder. Payload moved in, grabbing her gunning arm. He pressed down on the joints sadistically, loving the sound of her gasps of pain. It was incapacitating.

"Does it hurt?" His voice was filled with amusement. He fired his main cannon into the central location of her back.

Vertigo felt the circuits in her legs go limp as her backbone infrastructure was destroyed. The pain was much worse than she could ever remember and a scream escaped form her vocal processors. The much larger decepticon tossed her to the side and she collapsed into a heap on the ground. "Oh, how disappointing." He mocked. Standing over her to gloat for a moment. "I don't know why I expected more from you. You are just a coward with no common sense, you always have been." He stepped onto the upper portion of back, pressing down. "A failed experiment, a pile of scrap to melt down." Payload knelt down, face inches away from her optics. "How does it feel, knowing that you were a failure even to the end? That you could not stop me, that the autobots will tremble before our might?"

"Shut up!" Vertigo spat heatedly, arms struggling to unload rounds of missiles into the decepticon.

"How unoriginal." Were his last words before returning to the dam. "I will dispose of you momentarily."

The female lay there. He was right; she had failed. Failed miserably. Had Optimus ultimately foreseen this? Was that the reason he had demanded the she monitor rather than fight? The thought caused Vertigo more pain than her wounds did.

But, she still had to try. She wasn't dead yet. No, there was still a small glimmering chance that she could defeat Payload. Yes, she still had to try. She refused to accept failure once again.

Vertigo planted her hands on the ground, struggling to get up. Gradually the pain began to fade and a new strength began to seep through her limbs. She began to feel her legs and she stood up, though still a little wobbly. She held the cannon on her left arm steady with her right, glancing down quickly to make sure that it was still there. But something about herself caught her optics, her armor had taken on a sandy gold color and the scratches and dents were rapidly fading away. She felt an unimaginable power blossom withing her spark and spread throughout her body. It was as if she had been renewed and refueled.

Smiling to herself, the female cybertronian shot a powerful blast at the decepticon. It caught him off guard and sent him sprawling to the ground. She leapt at him, the blade on her other arm arcing down to slash at his protective outer armor. "Damned traitorous bitch! Why won't you just die?!" Payload snapped, fist colliding with her face.

It knocked her back a few paces but she jumped back into action, plunging her blade into the exposed circuits in his side. "If I die, then I'm taking you with me!" She replied, taking another punch, this time to her shoulder. His next blow sent her flying back a few dozen feet. Landing nimbly on her feet, she dodged a blast aimed at her spark. Vertigo sent another shot his way, hitting his chest. She charged him, hitting him with a well-placed kick.

He staggered back a few feet. But retaliated by grabbing her and throwing her as hard as he could. "I _will_ destroy you. My master will be very pleased when I bring him your mangled corpse."

She got to her feet, straightening herself. "You nearly destroyed me 128 years ago, what was your reason then?" She retorted, firing a missile at him. Payload jumped to the side, missile avoiding his more vital components. "You've always despised me, admit it." She raced at him, tackling him to the ground, fist colliding with his face. "Was it because Daddy loved me and ignored you?"

He shoved her off, blast glancing her shoulder. "You were given wonderful opportunities that none of could have fulfilled. Wonderful honors that most of us dreamed of." He kicked her in the side. "But you ran away from them, you feared them like a coward." His largest cannon was trained on the portion of her body that harbored her spark. "You don't deserve to live!"

Vertigo swung her arm, knocking Payloads legs out from under him. She jumped to her feet as he fell. "_Honor_." She remarked bitterly, blade coming down on her opponent. "That was no honor. That was hell, I had no choice. I was his slave!"

"No, you were a fool!" He aimed a punch at her face but she grabbed his arm, pulling on it. His servos whined in protest as she yanked it out of it's socket. A howl of pain and rage met her audio receptors. She brought his appendage over her head and swung it down to collide with his head. He grabbed his arm back, getting to his feet. Their fistfight turned into an awkward wrestling match.

Vertigo strained, even with her new power and his weakened state, a contest of raw strength was barely even. "I'd like to see what you would have done in my position!"

"I would have submitted! I would have gladly accepted the honor bestowed upon me; my purpose!" He put the force of his massive weight on her. Her knees bent under the stress. Though she had managed to come this far, she began to wonder if she would ever make it back to base in one piece.

Like the force of the devastator winds on Cybertron, a wall of water swept them up and sent them crashing downriver in a tangled heap. Struggling to break free, Vertigo unloaded several rounds into Payload. With his grip weakened, she kicked him off of her. "Sorry." She commented, bracing her engines. "It looks like you'll be the only one dying in this fight." And with that she rocketed out of the water, refolding herself into her preferred terrestrial mode of an F-22. For once, she felt a joy that overcame all of the dismal feelings lurking in her cranial processor. It was a feeling of accomplishment, of importance, and a feeling that she had finally exacted her vengeance upon a nemesis.

Vertigo swooped around, heading back to where the rest of the NEST team had begun to regroup. She transformed, feet alighting on the ground, a smile on her face. Optimus gazed at her, concern evident, but with an undertone of amusement and surprise. He placed a hand on her shoulder plate. "Are you alright?"

"I've never felt better." She replied, hands resting on her hip joints.

"That was very rash of you to take on Payload... Although your courage is perhaps the sole reason that the Kariba is still intact. For that, you have my gratitude." He said softly. Then changed the subject. "It seems that you have obtained Burning Justice. You are one of very few to have ever reached that state of being... and at such a young age as well. Savor the feeling, this will more than likely be the only time you will reach it before death."

"Gee, that's certainly a happy thought." Laughed Vertigo.

But her laughter was cut short by an exclamation from Petr. "She's a decepticon!"

She looked at him, optics widening dangerously, then turned to look at her left shoulder. Sure enough, the symbol was there. "... No..." She whispered. "NO!"


	8. Deception

Vertigo gazed at her shoulder in horror. The stark black of the decepticon symbol standing out in high contrast with her pale gold armor. Her processors went blank and she reacted on pure emotion. Her fist came crashing down on it, denting her shoulder plate slightly.

The humans had their weapons locked and loaded. Lennox's face betrayed fury and mistrust. He rounded on Optimus, "Did you know about her?!" The leader of the autobots nodded his large head solemnly. "And you didn't think we should know that she's a 'con!?!"

"I did not feel the need to disclose that Virigo was formerly a decepticon, if that is your question." He replied.

Vertigo felt as if everything was crashing down around her; her life, pride, dreams, future. Everything. Shattered like a glass ball falling to the floor.

Lennox pinched the bridge of his nose. "You don't think that that little bit of information might be important for us to know?!"

The last Prime knelt down to look into the human's face. "Has she not proven that she is loyal to the autobots and humans?"

"How?! By fighting decepticons?! Since when have they cared for their own kind?!" He paused, frustrated and angry. "Haven't you ever considered that she might be deceiving you? Decepticon: Deception. There's only a one letter difference with the same meaning!"

Vertigo broke down. "I'm not a decepticon! I'm not deceiving anyone!" She didn't trust her vocal processors to speak anymore. Her arm transformed into a blade and she hacked furiously at the symbol on her shoulder plate, ignoring the severe pain as she attempted to mutilate herself.

Salvage eyed her warily, "Why was I not informed of her situation?" He asked Optimus.

Epps spoke up in disbelief, "You didn't even tell the autobots?!"

The leader looked at him, "I did not wish for her to be the subject of prejudice and hatred. If you had known that she was born a decepticon, there would have been a high likelihood that she would have been discriminated against. Both by autobots and humans. Ironhide, Ratchet, and Jazz were the only autobots to have known besides myself."

Vertigo's arm shifted into a cannon. She aimed it at her shoulder, firing despite Ratchet's protest.

"What are you doing!?" He exclaimed heatedly as she struggled to pull off the healing shoulder plate. A hand closed around her own, pulling it away from her self inflicted wounds. She looked up at Optimus.

"I have to do this." She said, voice succumbing to anguish. Ratchet gazed at her shoulder, scanning it closely.

"She's healing herself." He murmured more to himself than to anyone in particular. "That must be one of the effects of Burning Justice." The dents filled out before his optics and the scratches faded away, leaving the decepticon sign clear on her shoulder.

The female cybertronian nearly shrieked. "No!" She pulled her wrist out of the Prime's grasp, ready to fire another shot at it. Ratchet regarded her with a mixture of pity and frustration.

"Vertigo, if you keep this up, you will lose the function of this arm." He stated bluntly. The medic grasped her other shoulder, leading her away from the group.

"I don't care!" Replied Vertigo tenaciously. "I just want it gone!"

Ratchet sighed, "That won't help much now."

* * *

Lennox frowned, "Look, Optimus I trust you, but what were you thinking taking in a decepticon?"

"She is no longer a decepticon." He said.

The human shook his head, "You can't be certain of that. Decepticons are the masters of deceit. You told me that once, remember?"

"Of course, I have cataloged it accordingly in my data banks. But, may I remind you that Virigo has never wavered in her loyalty. She has proven herself on many occasions." The mech replied.

"Either way, I need to report this to Ariella." Lennox told him. "NEST needs to know that she's a 'con."

Optimus considered this for a moment. "You may do what you must. But do consider that Virigo has risked her life continuously to protect your species. What will happen to her after all of NEST finds out about her past? She will either be nullified or outcasted."

Lennox pursed his lips for a moment, debating what to do. The autobot leader turned and left the human to his thoughts.

He walked over to where Vertigo, despite Ratchet's warnings, still repeatedly struck the decepticon icon. He noticed that her golden hue was beginning to fade.

Vertigo looked up at him as he approached. "They want me gone... don't they?" She asked mournfully.

"They were none too pleased to learn about your past." Prime said truthfully.

She glanced down at her feet for a moment then returned her gaze to the older autobot. "Then I will leave. I know when I am not wanted. I'm sorry to have burdened you." She managed a sorrowful smile, "These past couple of years have been great and I can't thank you enough for allowing me to serve under your leadership... I guess I'll roam around the universe. Find interesting new places, maybe see Cybertron for the first time. And perhaps our paths will cross again. Tell Sideswipe that I'm sorry I shot him down all those times, it's just that I'm not ready for a romantic relationship."

Vertigo turned to leave but was stopped by the intensity of Optimus' optics. "Do I not get a say in this? I would prefer that you stay, if you don't mind. They said nothing to the effect of kicking you out of NEST."

The female was convinced that had she been human, she would have wept. She unsheathed her blade once more and hacked at the symbol on her left shoulder. Vertigo was unsure that she would be able to say much more.

Optimus grasped her hand firmly, "I would also prefer that you stop mutilating yourself." He told her gently. "If you are staying, then you will certainly need to employ the use of this arm."

"Yeah," She murmured.

"It's barely visible." He reassured her, letting go. When she did not return to trying to destroy her shoulder, the cybertronian relaxed.

Optimus turned to their small NEST team, "Let's go home." He said. And Vertigo was grateful she would not have to roam the galaxies or forced to fend for herself in the world. Also, she wanted nothing more than to slip into a comfortable stasis for the next eight hours.

* * *

**Please review, people. I'm very serious about the depressed slump. Thank you.**


	9. Discussing

Vertigo stood nervously beside Optimus Prime, shifting her weight from foot to foot under scrutiny from the head of NEST. Ariella's gaze was cool and calculating. "Why is it that you have brought Reconnaissance-1 to my attention?" She asked.

Though Vertigo had seen Ariella when NEST was first formed, they had never spoken. The might that this human possessed caused the cybertronian anxiety. But she stood up straight, determined. Lennox, from his seat at the 'U' shaped table of the council room, raised his hand. Ariella nodded for him to proceed. "While on our previous mission, we were hunting down Starscream."

"Indeed," Ariella stated wryly.

"And as you may have noticed, Optimus has often consulted Vertigo directly for information on what Starscream has been up to."

"I have noticed and I have asked him directly about it." She replied, turning her head to regard the large autobot.

Lennox raised an eyebrow, "What was his reply?"

Ariella frowned, "He told me that Vertigo was very adept at decoding Starscream's actions."

"But I assume that he has never given you much more than that." The human male crossed his arms. He hated to be the bringer of bad news, but it did not sit right in his conscience to remain quiet on the matter.

"Your assumption is correct." Warily replied the director of NEST.

"That is because he didn't want to tell everyone that Vertigo was originally a decepticon." Lennox said solemnly. There was a murmur of unease that went through the gathered scientists and officials.

Ariella looked up at Optimus, seemingly unphased. "Is this true?"

"Yes," was the large mech's reply. "It is to my understanding that Virigo would have been mistrusted if I had disclosed that information."

"And for good reasons." The head of NEST retorted blandly. "The decepticons are enemies to all life. Why should we trust one?"

"Virigo is young and therefore has much to learn. She was troubled by the purpose for in which she was bred. All she sought was somewhere that she could be free from the horrors that she was raised in." Optimus explained. He activated his hologram projector, selecting an image from his data banks. A holographic Vertigo materialized before the humans' eyes, but it was nearly unrecognizable; maroon outer armor riddled with dents of varying sizes and a nervous look in her optics. She seemed extremely anxious, a worn but not fully broken spark. The image disappeared and Optimus turned to look the head of NEST in the eyes.

Ariella's mouth twitched as she considered what she had seen. A voice disturbed her thoughts.

"If I may, sir- I mean, ma'am, just as the offspring of your kind can not choose who sires them, I could not choose who created me. I did not choose to be created a decepticon, nor would I if I had had the choice. You do not understand what my situation was like and I sincerely hope that a situation of the same sort never plagues you." Vertigo's optics were locked on the small female human's form.

Ariella raised an eyebrow, "Enlighten me."

Vertigo hesitated, "I was created for two purposes, I felt uncomfortable with both." She looked up into Optimus' face, he nodded and she proceeded. "I was built to be a secret weapon and that is why I have never truly fought an autobot. Most of my life I spent training for an encounter that never came." She paused, "I was also built to be the mother of a generation of powerful new decepticons. It was something that I utterly refused and something that nearly killed me on countless occasions." Her hand went to her head, as if she were in pain. "I didn't understand anything there; why we wanted to enslave the humans, why the autobots needed to be destroyed, my own life, my own spark. I wasn't sure why I was still alive or why I even struggled to survive. I did not understand why I stayed even though it was killing me..." Vertigo regarded the smaller organic lifeforms in the room. "I just want to forget everything from the hell that I left behind." She let out a small laugh, "Hell, I even changed my name to get away from them..."

Ariella nodded slowly, considering the female's answer. It was silent as she organized her thoughts. She looked up at Optimus after a moment, "And you trust Vertigo?"

He nodded, "She has proven her worth. And if that were not to be enough, I have checked her datatrax. Virigo does not lie when she says she has been mistreated."

"Understood." Ariella murmured. "Then we shall also trust Vertigo." She gazed around the room calmly, "However, if she wavers in her loyalty. I expect her to be terminated." Eyes locked with optical lenses.

"Of course." Replied Optimus grimly. Vertigo transformed quickly into a corvette centennial, feeling much more comfortable and shielded from the prying eyes of the humans. The autobot leader remained where he stood. "But, I wish to ask a favor from you."

"Although I am unsure that I will be able to much help you, please proceed." The head of NEST smiled slightly.

"Please do not disclose any of the information we have discussed here with the members of NEST that are not present. It would be best for things to remain as they had been." He said.

"Indeed, we do not need to lose morale at such a crucial time." She looked at the members seated at the table. "What we have learned today is information we shall not soon forget, nor should we forget it. Though Reconnaissance-1 will continue to function as part of NEST, she will be monitored closely. However, you are forbidden to speak of this topic. Ladies and gentlemen you are dismissed."

Vertigo sent a silent transmission to Optimus. "Thank you... for everything."

He smiled softly down at her, "You're welcome."

She wanted to smile also, but could not in her terrestrial mode. The crisis had been averted so far. She was safe, she was home, she was where she had always longed to be.

* * *

Few words were said on Beachbreak's passing and it left a sense of gloom that permeated every processor and mind in the base. But most did their best to distract themselves.

He caught her alone, sitting alone on the landing strip, watching the last rays of the sun disappear on the horizon. She seemed distracted by something, not noticing his presence until it was too late.

"Hey, Sexy." Sideswipe greeted her, taking a seat.

"Oh dear Primus..." Muttered Vertigo. "It just had to be you..."

"So... how was Zambia?" He asked.

"Flat, sunny, saw some weird organic life forms..." She replied dully.

"Ohhh, exciting," his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Hoisting herself up, she began to walk away. hoping that he wouldn't follow.

"Has anyone ever told you that your aft sways very sexily when you walk?"

Vertigo rolled her optics, "Not until you came along, Sides. Not until you came along."

Before she knew it, he was beside her, "That's because no one appreciates your servos quite like I do. I could stare at them all day long... and even into the night." He said saucily.

She shook her head, conveying her frustration. "What do you do when I'm not here?"

"Why?" A smug smile planted itself firmly on his face. "Are you worried that I might be hitting on Arcee while you're away? Or do you just miss me so much-"

"I did not _miss_ you-" she replied heatedly.

He cut her off, "So you were worried that I might be hitting on someone else?" His smirk widened, "Don't worry, Vertigo. We were designed for each other, I won't forget that."

Vertigo sighed, "I was not worried about you courting another female. In fact, I wish you would, then you could leave me alone."

"I love it when you play hard-to-get." Sideswipe commented after a moment.

"I'm not playing," She murmured more to herself than to the cybertronian following her, knowing very well that he would choose to ignore it. "Look, I..." she paused thinking of something that would rid her of him for a few moments. "Got this shoulder wound while we were on the mission. So I should probably see Ratchet and have him take a look at it. See you later."

He seemed mildly concerned, "A shoulder wound? Hasn't that shoulder always been pretty dented?"

"Ummm... it got worse." She replied, heading into the hangar.

"It does look a little worse-"

She interrupted him, "Of course! Now I'll just be leave." When he continued to persist in following her, she cast a glance back. "You know Ratchet hates to be bothered while he's working."

"I can be quiet for a little while."

Frustrated, she thought of something else. "Why don't you go bother Jolt?"

"I don't bother Jolt."

"Then why don't you go see him?" she inquired.

"Fine, if you want to go face Ratchet alone-" He began, shrugging his shoulders.

"I do." Blandly replied Vertigo.

"... I'll see you later then. And perhaps we can have some al-"

"Can it." She said, heading over to the corner where Ratchet usually was. He was standing speaking in a hushed voice with Optimus. The female could only hear fragments and pieces of what they were saying. They were too engrossed in their own conversation to notice her presence.

"-You're not getting any younger, Prime." Ratchet said seriously.

"I won't... Perhaps in another few hundred thousand years, but not yet." Came the reply of an equally serious Optimus.

"What if you don't have another few hundred thousand years. You saw what happened in Zambia-" He ended mid-sentence, sensing Vertigo's presence. "Just consider it." The medic turned to the female, casting one last glance at Optimus who shook his head. "Yes?" He asked Vertigo rather irritatedly.

She hesitated, wondering what they had been discussing with such grim urgentness that they could not be overheard. "I was wondering about my shoulder plate. Is there any way to erase the symbol?"

"I'm not sure." Said Ratchet truthfully, "Is that all you wanted?" He took another look at Optimus who stood quietly beside him.

"Well, that and I needed to get away from Sideswipe..." Vertigo sighed.

"Younglings..." Ratchet muttered, shaking his head.


	10. Questions

Vertigo walked alone in silence, admiring the dusty red landscape. The sun was about to set, casting a red glow into the sky and onto the moons rising from the horizon. Her servos ached, it seemed that they always did these days. She sat down next to a large boulder, leaning against it. She didn't understand what she was doing or why she was here.

The sound of an activated auto gyro caught her processors. It was a comforting sound. The sound of the only one that she felt no need to fear. He landed beside her, perched on the boulder. He was quiet for a moment. "The master was very displeased at your latest outburst, Virigo."

Vertigo gazed ahead of her, this was not news to her. It seemed that her creator was always displeased with her. She found doubt always consuming her. "Star?"

"What is it?" Neither of them looked at each other. Both of them, optics locked on the horizon.

The female hesitated, "Have you ever wondered why we're here? What our purpose is? What we're really fighting for?"

"We are fighting for Cybertron, for the survival of our race." Came his reply.

She hesitated once more, "Then why are we fighting the autobots? Are we not essentially of the same race? Would not the destruction of the autobots severely deplete the Cybertronian's chances of survival as a species?" Inquired the female. "I don't understand why we can not cooperate. Why can't we just get along?"

"Because they care more about protecting the weaker more primitive species than restoring Cybertron, so it seems" He spat.

Vertigo was silent once again. When she spoke once more it was slow and thoughtful. "But could we not just join forces with the autobots to retrieve the All-Spark without destroying the humans? Or why can we not just move to another solar system and destroy that sun? It would not lead to conflict."

Starscream narrowed his optics, glaring at her. "It is foolishness such as this that will destroy you." He told her darkly.

"But haven't you ever considered that it might just be easier to rebuild the energon harvester somewhere else where it would not affect the humans?" She asked, pondering it herself.

The decepticon beside her retorted with another question. Is our race not worth the destruction of another one that is much more primitive?"

"I just don't think it's right!" She said heatedly. "It's not fair to the humans! Do they not get a choice in their own fate?" Distress tinted her soft vocals. "What if I agree with the autobots on this issue?" It was not a hypothetical question.

Starscream was livid. "Then I would consider you a fool." Vertigo said nothing, avoiding provoking him further. He continued, "Virigo, we are the key to our species' survival. We are fighting for Cybertron, the greater good. If we are good then the autobots must be the ones consumed by evil." Those words ended their discussion.

She stood on the landing strip, gazing out into the horizon. "You're wrong, Starscream." She murmured, visor plates narrowed in defiance. "And I don't care if I displease you anymore." Her hands clenched into metallic fists.

A voice from behind her disrupted her thoughts. "Talking to yourself, Vertigo?" She spun around to face Arcee. "That's not a very good sign, we might need to get Ratchet to check you out." The smaller female mused good-naturedly.

"I was just thinking out loud!" Vertigo replied hastily.

"Calm down. It was just a joke." Arcee told her, obviously amused by the other's response. "So, what's all this about displeasing someone and not caring?"

The taller female tensed nervously, wondering if she had heard. "Oh... um, it was nothing. Really." She stammered quickly.

Seeing her companion's discomfort, Arcee dropped the subject. She looked around quickly. "I'm surprised Sideswipe isn't here right now. I thought he would be spending every free moment with you."

Vertigo smiled letting out an exhausted laugh. "He finally needed to recharge. Thank Primus that he's in stasis right now."

"You must be enjoying that break."

"Oh yeah." She shook her head, "I just don't understand why he is so persistent. I do not wish to mate." Vertigo confided exasperatedly.

A small grin flashed across Arcee's features, hand resting on her hip. "I wouldn't worry to much about it. He's a male, what else would you expect?"

The larger female laughed lightly, "I guess. Though I can't say that I've met very many males like him."

"You mean the vain, egotistical, 'better-than-you' thing or the persistence? Either way, just be happy that his twin isn't here."

"Oh dear Primus, he has a _twin_?!" She asked, mortified, picturing another Sideswipe flanking her.

"Yeah, Sunstreaker." Arcee replied blandly, rolling her optics. Then as if to explain her reaction, she continued. "He makes Sideswipe look humble; he always thinks he's better than everyone else, he's a troublemaker, he's a complete asshole most of the time."

"Sounds charming." Vertigo said sarcastically.

"And he hates helping people, oh and did I mention that he thinks he's better than everyone?" She frowned as if recalling an incident.

"Goody..." Sighed Vertigo, imagining an overly arrogant Sideswipe harassing her.

Arcee interrupted her thoughts once more. "Don't worry about him courting you though; supposedly no one is good enough for him. You just have to deal with him talking down to you and calling you a loser."

The larger female smiled, relieved. "Now_ that_ I can deal with."

The other shook her head, "You say that now." She muttered, then changed the subject. "So, I heard you got to sit through a meeting. How was it?" Asked Arcee, genuinely curious.

"... Not as bad as I had expected." Vertigo told her truthfully.

"That's good, I was just wondering what it was about since Optimus Prime hadn't broad casted it to us."

The younger female let out a nervous laugh. "Well, I sort of made a mistake on the mission. We just needed to clarify a few things."

"Oh..." Arcee went silent. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it wasn't anything that really messed the mission up or anything. Lennox just thought that it should be brought to the attention of Ariella. That's all." Vertigo said softly. "I think I'll head in now. See you later." She turned on her heel, casting a wave over her shoulder.

"Yeah," Arcee waved back.

Vertigo walked inside, she hadn't lied to Arcee. In a way, she had made a mistake during the mission. She had let Payload agitate her and had let her rage control her fight, nearly destroying her. She had nearly let the dam crumble. And she had not been able to prevent the wounds Payload inflicted on Ratchet. He was still recovering.

Surveying the hangar, she spotted Optimus speaking with Lennox. Vertigo strode over to them, noticing their solemness she asked, "What's up?"

Lennox hesitated while Optimus answered her. "There have been two decepticon sightings."

Her visor plates narrowed seriously. "Simultaneously?" Optimus nodded. "Where?"

"The first in the Andes mountains of South America. The other in Oombagoomba of western Australia." Came his reply.

"When are we leaving?" She inquired.

The leader of the autobots shook his head. "You are not coming this time." He told her sternly.

Vertigo's mouth curled into a frown. "What do you mean I'm not going? Is this about Zambia? Because if it is then how can I prove my worth unless I am sent into the front lines?"

"It is concerning Zambia, but not about when you attained Burning Justice. You barely made it out of there alive. I will not allow that to happen again. Stay here and recover."

"But my components repaired themselves during Burning Justice." She responded.

"I think it would be best for you to remain at base for now."

Vertigo's face fell with realization. When she spoke her voice betrayed a mixture of grief and shame. "You think that I am incapable." It was not a question.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, "No. That is not what I had intended to convey. I believe you are more than capable. I just do not wish to take the chance this time." Optimus replied gently.

"But I can do this, Optimus. Please, I _have_ to do this." She pleaded, holding his gaze. As the female waited for his response she could feel the electricity pulsing through her circuits. She longed for his approval. For her it seemed that it was the only thing that mattered.

The Prime sighed, "If you must, then I will not stop you. You will accompany Longarm and try to keep Sideswipe and Knockout focused on the task."

Her optics widened. "Wait... Sideswipe?"

"Yes." He responded, "It will be Knockout's first time engaging a decepticon in battle. Sideswipe will be beneficial for him to learn from. You will join them in the Andes."

Vertigo's fingers twitched nervously, a slight smile crossing her face. "I'll do my best." she murmured softly.

He gave her a reassuring nod, "I expect nothing less."

She turned on her heel, though stopped as if thinking better of it. "Optimus?"

"Yes?"

"Not to pry, but what were you and Ratchet discussing earlier?" The female inquired visor plated raised in curiosity.

The leader of the autobots stiffened visibly. "Please do not concern yourself with it, Virigo." He told her delicately.

She nodded her head, "I won't." Vertigo said, wondering if she would be able to put it from her processors. "I'll see you once this is over and done with then, I guess."

With that she left, heading to the corner opposite of Sideswipe. Optimus watched her go, he hadn't wanted her to engage in battle so soon after their last mission. What he had wanted was for her to rest and recover. But Vertigo had her own reasons for needing to fight. Perhaps it was a need for revenge against those who had tormented her for most of her life. Either way, he knew that he had made the right decision in sending her along with Sideswipe. The young male would keep her safe.

* * *

**A/N: It is to my understanding that there has been some confusion regarding Vertigo's alternate modes. Yes she does have two. It is explained throughout later chapters. And it is also an idea supported by the G1 movie. Thank you for the reviews! They have encouraged me greatly!**


	11. Assuming

"So, it's you and me on a mission together." Sideswipe said, mere inches behind the female as they boarded the C-17. "I think Primus might be trying to tell us something." He hinted.

"Yeah, right." Replied Vertigo, "And I'm only going to tell you this once more. I will not be your mate!"

"So you're not going to turn down my requests anymore?" He asked smugly.

She sighed, "Sides, for the last time; you should really go fsck yourself."

"And you'll stop insulting my processors. Sounds like a great deal." Mused the male.

"I'm just going to ignore you now."

Behind them Knockout revved his engine loudly, a sound that Vertigo found both obnoxious and stimulating at the same time. "Can you take any longer in boarding this aircraft?!"

"Yeah," Sideswipe called behind him to the younger male. Aggravation tinting his voice. "You want to see?"

"Just get your aft in the damn plane and stop complaining." Vertigo retorted blandly. "Both of you."She pulled in, turning to face the cybertronians still filing in. Sideswipe parked himself next to her, Knockout behind him who was followed by Longarm.

Sometime after their takeoff Knockout grew impatient. "When will this human machine reach our destination?"

Longarm's voice drifted out from the tow truck. "Patience, Knockout. This is your first decepticon encounter. You must exercise caution and restraint even though you have more experienced warriors with you."

"Seriously," Vertigo replied calmly. "Decepticons aren't going to hold back just because you're a youngling and therefore inexperienced. They will fight ruthlessly until the end."

The young autobot's engine growled. "Who are you calling 'youngling'?!" He replied heatedly. "I'm over double your age!"

The female's mirrors twitched, "That may be so, but I am far more experienced in fighting decepticons that you are. In that you are still a youngling."

"I don't understand why Prime hesitates to send me and yet he still sends you, a femme of no older than 234 of Earth's years." Knockout snapped.

A sound of shock escaped from under Sideswipe's hood. "You're only 234?!"

"You didn't know that?" She asked curiously. "Why, how old did you think I was?"

"I don't know... like maybe 1,500 or something." He said in disbelief. "I mean I knew you were young and all... but... damn! 234." The mech let out a small chuckle. "And here I thought there might have been something going on between you and Optimus."

If she had been in her cybertronian form she would have frowned. "What do you mean?"

Knockout interrupted their conversation. "Is any of this relevant to our current mission?"

"You need to... how do the humans say; chill out." Sideswipe told him flatly. " Cool your circuits. Keep your sanity. And most importantly don't speak unless spoken to. Okay?" The younger male was positively fuming, but stayed silent.

The silence was finally broken when Vertigo asked Sideswipe another question. "So... what was that about? That last comment... the one where you thought that perhaps..." She trailed off, fearing what she was saying.

"Well, for one thing. You're always bringing him up when I'm trying to have a pleasant conversation with you." He replied. "You're usually together." The male paused. "And why else would you even consider resisting the fact that we are sparkmates?"

"Like I've told you before, I bring up Optimus to temporarily disrupt your thought process. I am often with Optimus because I enjoy his company. Is there any shame in wanting to be by your leader's side? And lastly," She said as if it were the most obvious answer in all of the universe. "I am not your sparkmate."

"See, there you go denying it again!" Sideswipe interjected. "I just don't understand why you would even want to deny it. At least when I had my whole Prime theory my processors could make sense of it."

"That's because you think the entire universe revolves around you." The female stated.

The room went fairly silent except for the sound of Knockout's idling engine as Technical Sargent Epps came in from the cockpit. He regarded them all, eyes lingering on Vertigo for a moment, betraying a sense of distrust. His gaze caused the female pain, a weight hanging from her spark. "We'll be landing in fifteen minutes." He said. The human cast one last glance at Vertigo, wounding her spark further. With that the Sargent turned and left for the control room. And the cybertronian knew that it had something to do with her presence that he did not wish to linger. Perhaps Optimus had been right in wishing for her to stay at base. Either way it was too late for that now.

"Finally." Muttered Knockout.

"Hey! What did I tell you about speaking!"

* * *

The mountains were covered in a dense fog. Vertigo paid little mind to it, even if her optical sensors were unable to detect what lay ahead, her other sensors and a radar scan gave her a clear picture of her surroundings. The road was narrow, long and winding one side a sheer drop into nothingness while the other was a steep wall of rock.

"Keep your wits about you, younglings." Longarm said softly to the other 3 cybertronians with him. "One wrong move and you may not even get to see the decepticons."

Vertigo's alt mode crept along behind them, color changed to blend in with the fog, a dull light gray. She loved the way the landscape around her felt. It was complex and yet simple. Hostile yet beautiful. Mysterious yet known. Unsure yet there. It reminded her of Victoria falls in Zambia. The low visibility and the steep drop. Fortunately, she could fly. Unfortunately, _only _she could fly.

For miles and miles they followed the humans' hummer along the twisted narrow road. At each bump Vertigo wondered why the decepticons would choose to operate in a place such as this. Obviously they were not sightseeing. But what were they after? Everything seemed to be a repeat from Zambia, save the lack of a dam. She could sense nothing out there.

An exclamation from Knockout broke her train of thought. "I can sense them! I have their location pinned!" With that he shot past her teetering perilously close to a drop into oblivion.

"WAIT!" Longarm shouted after him. "Hold your position!"

The young mech either hadn't heard him or ignored the direct order, zooming down the road. Epps let out an oath at he got out of the hummer. "Can you sense anything?" He cast the question over his shoulder to the other autobots.

"No." Longarm replied, concern gnawing at his voice.

Sideswipe transformed, visor plates narrowed dangerously. "Shall I retrieve him?" He asked, a small smile playing on his features.

The older bot unfolded himself, stepping cautiously over the human vessel. "No."

Vertigo's armor plating began to rearrange itself as she stood up straight. "And he's the one calling me a youngling..." She muttered crossly. "How unprofessional..."

The sound of his engine abruptly stopped and began to head back toward the NEST faction. They could now sense decepticon presence but no longer needed such a raised focus with the sound of explosions following the young autobot. "TAKE COVER!" He yelled excitedly, dodging a blast.

The hummer took the next missile, shards of metal flying in every which direction. It caught Longarm off guard and he stepped backward to try to regain balance, only to fall off of the ledge. One hand grasped the rim, the other caught Epps as he flew backwards. Vertigo reached down, clasping the older Cybertronian's arm and hoisting him up from the abyss. Knockout transformed beside them. "Found them." He said smugly. The female regarded him, disappointment clear from her features.

Longarm placed Epps safely on the ground before slapping the young mech across the face. "Do you have any idea what you have just done? You not only placed yourself in danger, but you have placed myself and the humans in danger also!"

"And he just happens to leave the fact that he put you in danger too out." Sideswipe muttered, arms crossed as he glanced at Vertigo; who in return rolled her optics and unsheathed a blade from her right arm.

"What do you have to say for yourself!?" Longarm proceeded to ask, but then focused on the fighting while Knockout began to gather himself together.

The fog began to disperse as a strong wind blew it away. The form of an Osprey began to change into the decepticon, another helicopter behind him continued to fire at the autobots.

"Prepare yourself." Vertigo said to the mech beside her.

"Worried I might lose my footing and fall over the edge?" Sideswipe asked saucily.

"I was talking to Knockout." She replied flatly, cross hairs drifting over her optic and cannon trained on the decepticon.


	12. Serious

**A/N: I'm sorry that there might be a slow in updates; but I'm up to my optics in homework (they seriously don't take enough of my time away with school?), and I also have practice and other various after school activities. So please be patient. I will do my best. And as I have stated before, reviews are **_**always**_** appreciated. They're what keeps me going. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Vertigo jumped quickly to dodge a shot, hanging in mid-air for a split second before landing on her feet. Letting loose a stream of explosive charges at Ruination, she signaled to Sideswipe, "Under him!"

"Already on it, Beautiful." He stated, closing in on the decepticon rapidly. He ducked, barely avoiding a blow to the face. The silver mech retaliated by slashing at the other Cybertronian's legs. Ruination howled in rage as the autobot's blade pierced his armor.

"I will rend you limb from limb!" Cried the decepticon, reaching for Sideswipe. His hand closed around the younger mech's arm and twisted it gruffly. With a small gasp of pain, the autobot dug his blade into Ruination's wrist joint, dislocating the appendage gripping him.

"Would you like the honors?" Sideswipe asked Vertigo over an internal communications link. He hopped back as the decepticon swung at him, getting ready for the female's strike.

"How sweet of you to ask. I'll finish this one, you help the others." Replied Vertigo wryly.

"I love a femme that takes charge." He said, quickly charging in to help Knockout and Longarm finish Blademaster.

"Oh shut up." She shot a heavy projectile into Ruination's shoulder. The larger decepticon staggered back a few paces, clutching the smoking joint. A sabot round truck his face and the femme registered it as a helping hand from Epps. Ruination sent a missile, hitting the female square in the chest. She lurched backward, internal alarm systems flaring up. She could feel the tension coming off of Sideswipe in waves. The femme straightened up, retaliating with a blast from her charged cannons. The decepticon, realizing that he was out gunned, began to transform, leaping over the edge of the mountain. Halfway through his transformation he became paralyzed, falling into the abyss below.

Vertigo turned to watch Knockout locked in a struggle with the larger decepticon. She fired a warning shot at the enemy who bounced back. His mouth curled into a contemplative frown for a microsecond before shifting into his terrestrial mode and retreating.

"No you don't." Muttered Vertigo, taking the form of an f-22 Raptor and chasing after him. For a moment it was quiet, everything stood still... Until a flash illuminated the area followed by a loud explosion rupturing the sonic barrier. Through the fog she tumbled, smoke coming off of her armor in gossamer wisps. She collided roughly with the cliff face. A groan of pain escaped her vocal processors.

"Vertigo!!" Sideswipe's voice rang out in her audio receptors. Her entire protoform ached and seared with pain. The female crumpled to the ground, narrowly missing the sheer drop into oblivion. "You okay?"

She looked up as a silver hand clasped her shoulder plate. "I'll be fine." Stated Vertigo, ignoring the red alerts from her armor and synthesis systems. She cracked a smile, "Remind me to never do that again."

The mech helped her up. "Of course, but what do I get from the deal?" He replied suggestively, fingers still wrapped around the female.

His grasp was unfamiliar and uncomfortable, making her diodes crawl and twitch nervously. "Thanks for the up, but I'm not going to mate with you."

"How about after you've healed?"

"How about _no_." She retorted sternly.

"There you go again. Why do you always insist on denying me?" His visor plates narrowed in perplexed frustration and disappointment.

"Why does it matter?" Vertigo asked, optics glancing away.

"At least tell me how you find me unsatisfactory. Vertigo."

"Sideswipe, you're complicating this way too much. It's not that I find you unsatisfactory-"

"Then why?" He interrupted her.

"I just don't want to." She replied earnestly.

The silver male paused, releasing her arm reluctantly. "I will never understand you." He told her huskily.

"Which is just as well," muttered Vertigo.

Moralés turned to Epps, whispering behind his hand, "A lovers' quarrel?"

Epps shook his head, "They ain't lovers."

The female listened to their conversation, mildly entertained by their human minds. The amusement never reached her core. Instead her processors were chilled, focused on her latest confrontation with Sideswipe. Although he had approached her on the subject many times it had always been in the form of casual carefree banter. She had never seen him so serious... and it frightened her. Tentatively, Vertigo touched the upper armor plate on her right leg, glancing down when she didn't feel the familiar dents to which his hands fit perfectly.

Her optics darkened, remember his crimson gaze. The intricate web of lies that he spun, encasing her I a tomb of blind adoration. She had believed each one of them up until the very end. The lies that ensnared her processors as she promised in ignorance, not realizing that she sunk deeper and deeper into his trap until the only thing she could do was comply to his every whim.

His thin claw-like finger trailed down her exposed face. She shirked away nervously. His finger curved its way down her jaw structure, finally hooking under her chin and tilting her head up to meet his optics. "Why do you shudder upon my touch, Virigo? I am beginning to wonder if you do not love me."

"I do, Starscream." Vertigo had complied, trepidation coloring her voice. "I assure you that it was just a natural impulse. I am sorry if I offended you."

He eyed her warily, then conceded. "You belong to me. Do not forget that."

"Virigo." An internal transmission ended her thoughts. Optimus. Sensing her distress his vocals reflected concern. "Are you well?"

She hesitated before replying. "Well enough."

"That is not indicated by your stress levels." Stated the mech. His voice had a soothing effect on Vertigo, assuaging her discomfort.

"Don't worry." She replied softly. "I was just reminiscing. I'll be fine."

"Put those memories from your mind. You are not who you used to be." Optimus gently implored.

She listened intently, waiting for him to continue. When he did not, she spoke again. "I know." Was her response.

For a moment it was silent. "Longarm tell me that you were injured."

"Not too critically." She evaded his question.

He let the subject drop. "Take care of yourself."

"I will."


	13. Advising

"Where does it hurt?" Ratchet asked, running a hand over the female's back.

She let out a gasp of pain, "There."

He shook his head, "You should know by now that disabling your pain receptors just worsens the wound's condition." The medic began to remove her back armor plating, grumbling to himself. "It's a mess back here- and you did this how?"

"Blowing up a 'con," She stated, doing her best to ignore as her circuits screamed in agony. Ratchet's finger brushed a particularly sore spot and a spasm ran the length of her body.

"It looks more like he blew you up..." He muttered crossly. "You should have been more careful."

"Tell me about it." Her voice conveyed her wry amusement with herself.

It was fairly silent as Ratchet began to straighten and reconnect her circuitry. But something was still gnawing at her processor. "Hey, Ratchet?"

"Yes?" He responded, tightening the securings around her backbone infrastructure.

"You were young once, right?" She asked softly.

"I should think so." Commented Ratchet snidely.

The female hesitated, optics trained on her feet. "Were you ever attracted to a female?"

"Is this about Sideswipe?"

She looked up, casting a furtive glance around the hangar before nodding meekly. "Yes." Her mouth opened then closed as she struggled for the words. "I just don't know what to do. It seems that with each passing day his persistence only grows stronger. When we were in the Andes he was just so serious about it... And then on our flight home he wouldn't let anyone come within several feet of me. I don't understand his infatuation with me."

The medic grunted, "Perhaps it is more than mere infatuation."

Vertigo's optics widened, then flinched as Ratchet began straitening a raw cable. "I don't know what I can do to dissuade him."

Sensing what she was hinting the older cybertronian replied irritatedly, "I am a metallurgist and a medic, not a miracle worker."

"Ratchet, please, I don't know what to do." Her voice nearly cracked.

Ratchet sighed, pausing a moment in his work. "Even if I were to give you my advice, Vertigo, I doubt that you would like it."

She smiled slightly with bitter memories. "There are many things that I do not like. However, I would like to at least hear your advice. It does not matter whether I like it or not."

"If you want it, than my advice would be to select a mate- not necessarily to mate with- but to prove to Sideswipe that you are serious about not being attracted to him." He paused, as if contemplating something. "Or perhaps you may even consider pretending to find a mate, but that would only prove to be a temporary solution."

A disturbing uneasiness crept over the female's processors. "I do not think that many mechs would consent to becoming my mate if I didn't plan on mating with them."

"You would be surprised how many males care little about physical relationships compared to psychological relationships." Ratchet replied, returning to his work.

Vertigo's visor plates narrowed and a frown crossed her face, "I-.... do not think that it would work." She said dismissively.

The medic let out a noise of noncommittal nature, enjoying that fact that she had only become silent and tense instead of violent.

She withdrew into her thoughts, afraid of what could happen if she were to continue this conversation any further. Disturbed by his prospect, she felt an icy calm settle over her spark. They spoke little to nothing for the remaining duration of her repairs. And when he sent her off, her farewell was polite but stiff and somewhat forced as if she had clamped her mouth shut.

Vertigo wandered over to the landing strip, sitting out at her favorite spot overlooking the ocean. Her feet dangled in the water and she gazed out into the horizon. Her thoughts were hazy and abstract, though perhaps that was from the anesthesia Ratchet had given her while she was squirming around. However she could think clearly enough to prevent her mind from wandering to what she knew would cause trouble for her. The female lowered her view, staring into water to observe the marine life. Her face fell, they were so free. No doubts plagued their processors, no thoughts clouded their heads. They were ignorant... And ignorance is bliss.

She pulled her feet in close to her body, rocking back and forth on her heels. Why couldn't she be like those organic creatures. Who's life was so fleeting, so transient. Where regrets could only last as long as she could. She shook her head, lump forming in her throat.

A familiarly grating voice called out to her, "Hey, Virigo-"

She stood up abruptly, rounding on him. "Don't you _ever_ call me that name again!" The female hissed, thrusting a finger into Sideswipe's chest plates.

He backed up a pace, stunned. "Why can't I-"

"I will personally deactivate you if you dare to call me that again!" Her hand closed around his neck, pulling him down a few inches to stare straight into her optics.

"Prime calls you that-"

She interrupted him, "That is a different matter entirely!"

His bright blue gaze portrayed his confusion and hurt at her outburst, but also indignation. "Why. Can't. I?"

"It is not of your concern." She said stiffly. "But I'll not have you call me that name."

Their wills battled intensely for a few moments though their vocal processors made no sound. Finally he looked away, "Fine."

Vertigo released him, turning and walking back to the spot that he had originally found her in. With her back turned to him, he frowned, rubbing his throat delicately. He looked down, watching the ground silently and intently. "Vertigo, He began.

"I don't want to hear it." She told him softly, voice betraying her vulnerability.

"I just want to talk." He replied earnestly.

Her head turned, looking over her shoulder at him. She looked older and younger than he had ever seen her. It was the strangest feeling he had ever gotten and, again, he found it hard to believe that the femme was little over 200 standard Earth years. "Sideswipe, honestly, I don't want to talk. So if you could just leave me alone to my thoughts, I would greatly appreciate it."

The weariness and pain in her voice was enough to make the young mech want to wrap his arms around her. But something held him back; more than likely the aged air around her optics and the fact that she had almost torn out his vocal processor and fed it to him. So he settled for muttering, "If that's what you want..." And walking away.

She watched him go, furious that he had thought to call her by her given name. That right was reluctantly reserved for her leader and her leader alone. It seemed as if her world was about to crash back down around her.

* * *

** Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that Sides wasn't too OOC. I'm happy that it's finally done (my word processor kept on crashing) because regionals are tomorrow and I felt that if didn't get it done now then I never would. Hopefully now that volleyball is pretty much over for the year updates will be on a more timely schedule.**

** As always, reviews are appreciated, they are my emotional support group that I carry in my spark wherever I go!**


	14. Broken

He had often wondered why, of all planets, the Allspark had chosen Earth. It was a dreary planet with dismal weather; even Mars had been more hospitable than this small lump of rock floating in space. And the life here was very strange to him. He had seen many organics in his lifetime, but, of all the somewhat intelligent ones he had encountered, humans were the most diverse of mind. In fact, he often wondered if they were intelligent at all, they fought over such petty things. Even their biological make-up was odd. They had to filter air through their bodies for a certain element in order to even survive, and if they could not get an adequate amount of what they called oxygen, they would die in a matter of what seemed to be seconds. But, if the humans wanted to be allies, he would ally with them... for now.

And that's where he was going; to ally himself with one of these strange creatures. _Anything_ to survive.

He slowed down as he approached the hangar that was their designated meeting place. The mech landed inside. All he had to do now was wait for the human to arrive.

When he did, it was through a small door, located to his left side. The human that walked out was a rotund middle-aged male, dressed in a suite, a small stick made of dried weeds that had been wrapped in paper and lit on fire protruded from his mouth. The mech was repulsed.

The man aced around the stealth fighter, admiring the sleek metal of his armor. He took his time, finally stopping in the same place that he had started. Inhaling some smoke from the weed stick, he smiled. "You are just as striking as the secret reports say."

The jet's exterior split a thousand ways, reconfiguring himself into a massive and foreboding bipedal shape. The robotic life form stood before the human, bending down slightly, threateningly. "For flattery to have an effect, it must originate from a source that carries respect."

"Ciao to you too, Starscream." Replied the man. He did not flinch, instead, he again puffed on the burning bundle of paper and plant. He removed it from his mouth delicately, smoke escaping from his mouth as he commenced exhaling.

The decepticon scrutinized the man, curious. "You are not afraid?" He asked, voice tinted with a dark menace as he leaned closer.

The man shrugged, "What's the worst you could do? Kill me?"

Starscream grimaced, "Humans die sooner than most. You are a conspicuously short-lived species." He retorted pointedly.

"All the more reason, then, to make the most of the time we have."

The newly appointed Decepticon Leader was satisfied with the response. "You have shown exceptional skill and persistence in managing to make contact with me. I was informed that you have offered to be of assistance in the cleansing of this world of autobots."

The man bobbed his head in a nod. "That is correct."

"You realize that doing so would leave myself and my fellow decepticons in full control of your planet."

"Someone has to control it. The present governments to not seem to be doing any better than their predecessors. Perhaps it is time to bring in some outside consultants."

The powerful mech straightened. "You would submit willingly to decepticon rule?"

"Why not? Much of our civilization is currently dirrected and controlled by machines, and they're not even intelligent."

"You might not care for the kind of rule we would impose." Starscream found himself vocalizing.

"I don't care for the rule the current governments impose. Most importantly, they don't include me."

A smile nearly flashed across his lip components as the decepticon replied, ""Ah. You do seek something for yourself. That kind of motivation I can understand."

Starscream watched as the man flicked the small stub of still smoking paper wrapped weed aside. "Then despite our differences in origin and physical makeup, we have something in common."

The mech ignored the human's attempts to establish a bond, instead choosing to inquire, "You say that you can help us to eliminate the autobots." He said skeptically, "How? What possible assistance could you offer?"

The human contemplated the scenery outside of the hangar. His reply was long in coming. "I have been studying you and your opponents ever since the first reports of your presence on our world reached me via my covert- and very expensive- contacts. This Optimus Prime individual is very powerful, but I believe that I have discovered his one weakness."

Starscream did not even try to tame the vitriolic note in his voice. "Really? And what might that be?" Sarcasm dripped from every syllable.

The pompous man smiled. "He is handicapped by an excess of morality. If he can help it, he will not allow humans to be killed, even if the intercession presents a risk to himself and his comrades." He trailed off, pulling out a small box from his jacket. More of the paper wrapped dried weed sticks were inside. The man put another one in his mouth, and, placing the box back in his pocket, proceeded to ignite it. He took a long puff on it before continuing. "My contacts have also informed me that he seems to have an acute fondness for a female. From what they say, he is reluctant to send her into battle even though she is often with his core individuals when they are tracking your underlings."

The decepticon raised a visor plate. In his many millennia of existence, this was perhaps the first that news of this sort had reached his audio receptors. His thoughts immediately turned to one source. "What is this female's name?" He inquired darkly.

"Vertigo, from what they say."

_Vertigo..._

"_Virigo_..." The one word escaped his vocal processor in a dangerously soft hiss. Starscream's mouth contorted into an ominous frown, thoughts becoming erratic, swirling rage filled with liquid tendrils of ice.

He drowned out the human's explanation, murmuring to himself. "So," He growled venomously. "She's Prime's concubine now."

The human was still prating on, "-but more importantly, from top to bottom. I believe I have a means of trapping him, this will give you enough time for you to take care of him. However, the trapped combined with the female could provide to be even more useful-"

Starscream's optics narrowed. "If she is harmed in any way, _human_, you will pay for it with your own internal lubricants."

The man inhaled some more smoke. "I was just stating that it would be practical to have a backup plan."

"You can not dictate as to what shall be done concerning what rightfully belongs to me." He stated heatedly. Then paused for a moment, finally conceding to the human, "However, your plan does intrigue me. I would like to learn more. But, if you are merely wasting my time, you will join the rest of the stains on this floor."

The man smiled knowingly, "I'm sorry for it's appearance. It really does need a good scouring."

It took little under an hour to finalize their plans. Every detail: place, time, modus operandi, was decided. But, that was not what plagued the seeker's conscience. Instead it was focused on the new bit of information he had received for the despicable human.

_Virigo_...

After reflecting on what the human had said, he had seen a fleeting glimpse of her. Her optics fixated with horror, her body tense. A shiver ran the length of his servos. _Her body tensed. _Prepared for an approaching onslaught.

Where had he seen her body tense like that? _Ah._ Whenever her he had cornered her, her body tensed like that.

He loved the way her body tensed, the terror in her optics as she realized that there was no way out of it but to harm him. The way she struggled when he pinned her under him. Each whimper that escaped her vocal processor as she approached the point of overloading.

He let out a low, irritated growl. That belonged to Prime now. He couldn't stand it. His enemy was enjoying every kink and nuance in Virigo. Every sound that she created as she interfaced _willingly_ with him. As he enjoyed every last one of the ripples in her armor.

Thundercracker had once called Starscream a sadistic freak. And perhaps he was. He enjoyed her squirms, her fear. He enjoyed the way that she frantically clasped the fragile hope that he would stop. He had never meant to break her spirit, for her to willingly submit to his domination. But if it was what must be done, he would do it.

He would break her.


	15. Haunting

** To clear the air (if there had been any confusion as to chapter 14) Vertigo is _not, _I repeat _not_ Prime's concubine. That was Starscream's paranoia speaking and either way, he would have no actual way of knowing that tidbit of information, now would he? Anyways, thank you for the lovely reviews. I love you ladyofdarkstar, people such as yourself make people such as myself feel like what they do is actually worthwhile. Two thumbs up for all you amazing readers! **

* * *

Softly, slowly, waves lapped against the shore in the Earth's natural rhythm. Bits of seaweed flecked the pearly sands only to disappear as the ocean stole them back. Volcanic rocks staggered the shoreline, eroding away as the water licked and tickled around them, dieing, washing into the sea. The wind whistled slowly through the trees, carrying the sweetness of the tropics. Silver light overtook the scenery, the pacific reflecting the full moon as she looked down smugly from her place in the sky. It was a beautiful night.

Her dark armor glowed in the dim rays, gleaming with radiance of her white counterpart in the heavens. She sat on the beach, curled into the fetal position, feet constantly bombarded with the gentleness of the warm waves. Her chin rested on her knees, arms hugging her legs close to her body. Nervously, her fingers drummed on her armor plating, their beat listless and measured.

It had been nearly a week since her last contact with Optimus. 7 days. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. 604800 seconds.

It wasn't that she had been unable to contact him, because if she had wanted to, she could. It was her own thoughts that prevented her from doing so. If he were harmed because she had distracted him she would never forgive herself.

Her body quivered slightly, and she hugged her legs more tightly to her body in anxiety. Something didn't feel right. Her thoughts were sharp, clear, but undefined and shaky. She hadn't recharged in a long while, fearing what slipped into her processors each time stasis claimed her. Vertigo looked up at the moon overhead, recalling the memories that never seemed to fade.

The slow drumming of her fingers halted, gripping the edge of her leg harshly. Jaws locked, her optics closed for a moment. She needed to regain control.

She could feel the water rising around her ankle joints, it was warm. So unlike the iniquities and doubts that rose up in her mind, gnawing icily at her processors. A shiver ran down her servos. Her mind was falling apart, crashing down around her. It felt as if nothing could do would stitch it back together again. Something just didn't feel right.

A small whimper escaped her vocal processors only to be stifled as she clamped her mouth shut. The barriers around her datatrax collapsed, the influx of scarred memories was nearly intoxicating. She sobered up quickly, burying her head in her knees.

Vertigo shook once more, she hated feeling like this. Her head shot up, optics widening. She recognized the signature wavelength a nanosecond before she heard his familiar voice. "Virigo." The female closed her optics, a slight smile forming.

"You're okay." It was a silent transmission, barely a tangible thought rather than a feeling seeping through their mental link.

"Yes." The Prime sounded amused by her response, but still maintained a serious note in his voice. "There has been a minor decepticon incursion in Rome." He stated, "If you are willing, I would like for you to join us."

"Yes!" Replied Vertigo enthusiastically. "Of course."

For a moment it was silent, finally broken by the mech. "Ratchet tells me that your stress levels have dramatically increased within the past few solar cycles."

Her optics opened slightly, hand clenching and unclenching. She didn't respond, ashamed for having been so preoccupied with nothing. Preoccupied with the sepulchral fantasies that tormented her processors on a regular basis. And yet at the same time more than a little disconcerted. Vertigo had not known that Ratchet was keeping tabs on her welfare. When had this started happening? Had the heads of NEST put this into action? Or had Ratchet felt a need to monitor her health after repairing her physical ailments?

Realizing that he was not about to get an answer from her anytime soon, Optimus asked. "Are you well?"

"Yes, I am well." She replied softly, wondering how she hadn't noticed being monitored.

As if he had read her thought process, Optimus answered her unspoken question. "Ratchet is our medic and therefore was merely concerned for your health."

"...I know."

There was an awkward silence that hung about the air as she was unsure of what to say. Vertigo's fingers resumed tapping on her armor plated legs for lack of anything tremendously pressing to tell her leader. She didn't know how to react, and therefore, she didn't. The femme felt younger than she had ever imagined, younger even than when she had first been created.

"There will be a C-17 arriving shortly, I will see you when you land, Virigo." His wavelength didn't linger, there was no more to say. And again, Vertigo found herself alone with her thoughts.

They were much less destructive and degrading, swirling around in her cranial processor in calming ripples. She was unfocused, but that was not necessarily a bad thing, there was no need to focus at this present moment. So the femme contented to stare once again out into the dark placid sea before her; the reflection of the moon staring back at her until the C-17's engines could be heard.

* * *

To her surprise and utter relief, Sideswipe had not been present and as Vertigo had nothing to distract her, other than Knockout's idling engine, she had drifted into a comfortable stasis. Crammed in between Ratchet and the other younger mech, she was surprisingly comfortable and did not have to endure the distrusting glances thrown in her direction by Technical Sergeant Epps. No unhappy memories clouded her processors, no disturbing thoughts crept into her unguarded mind. However, there was a nagging feeling deep down in the center of her spark, something that told her that perhaps she should not be headed in this direction. But, cold logic had strangled the rising qualms: If Optimus Prime was requesting her aid, then she would fight by his side... no matter what conflicting emotions resided in her spark. Even deeper, she could feel something else stirring. Something she recognized, and in the tranquil numbness of her recharge could not suppress it as she normally would have. It toyed with her, though not in the sadistic ways that her other fantasies reeled through her head. It was eerie and confusing, but not terribly so. It allured and ensnared her processors in an uncomfortable period of ecstasy.

When she returned to functionality, the memory of her feelings ran through her servos like an icy charge of electricity, haunting her with an aching hollowness that persisted long after she had repressed it all.

Vertigo slid into the hangar that now awaited them, pausing for a moment to take in the scenery of Southern Italy. It was very beautiful. She could feel the appraising gazes of the human males around her, admiring her nearly exotic design. Fortunately, they were not interested in what the males of her species were. The human males just enjoyed the beauty of machinery. There was no shame in that.

She scanned the area quickly, determining that there were no threats and that her leader was on the other side of the gigantic building equipment. Inconspicuously the femme drove around to be perched at his side. "Hello." She stated softly, noticing a few dents and scratches in his red and blue outer armor. "You are hurt." It was not a question, and even the most oblivious of the Italian NEST unit could have detected the note of concern in her voice.

"It is inconsequential." He replied softly. "Do not trouble yourself over it."

She was silent, holding back a sharp response. It was enough that he was alive and well. If he was not troubled by it, she would not be troubled by it either. Her thoughts immediately lost the uncomfortable echoes brought about by her recharge, nothing clouded her thoughts.

"Any leads on what the decepticons are planning?" Asked Vertigo after a few moments.

"Negative. There have been no more sightings since we last spoke. We are unsure of what they are up to. However, we have determined that it was Swindle and Deadend who were wreaking havoc." Optimus' deep voice drifted from the large semi beside her.

The females mirrors twitched anxiously. "They aren't working on their own."

"I know."

* * *

** Sorry that this chapter was a little short. Hopefully the next one will be a longer. Thank you again for reading and don't forget to review because if you do review, I will love you even more than I already do. **

** And also:**

** HAPPY CHANUKAH!!!**


	16. Fear

Vertigo watched as the humans crowded around the monitors of their computers, pens trailing across the screens, muttering to each other in a garbled mix of Italian and English. They were intent on discovering where Swindle and Deadend had gone, busy trying to uncover what their motives had been. But, after arriving, Vertigo had decided that it had been either a raid, or a trap to split NEST's forces. The latter, she felt, was improbable, and in her processors neither of those suppositions connected perfectly to the situation at hand.

A sudden swarming of the humans caught her attention, voice levels elevated as they crowded around one monitor. "I think we've got them!" She heard the computer's operator speak, signaling Prime to come observe the satellite image. His voice was straining to find the English equivalent and he began to shift back into his native tongue. "They're headed South East along the central road, away from the Colosseum."

Optimus turned to his fellow autobots, "Our primary focus is the capture them and gain intelligence from them on Starscream's whereabouts. Termination of them should be only a last resort." He paused for a second, then with the wisdom of nearly an aeon of experience, he commanded them. "Autobots, roll out!"

Vertigo obliged, falling in behind her leader. Her internal communications link sprung to life, "Virigo, guard the perimeter. Do not let them escape."

If she had been in her bipedal mode she would have frowned. "But I wish to fight." Came her anxious reply.

Though the female could not hear it, she was sure that he had sighed. "I understand your eagerness, but our opponents are agile and somewhat cowardly. When they attempt to flee, I want to make sure that they will not evade us. In guarding the perimeter, you are ensuring our complete victory."

She made a slight noise of content, "Understood... I will not fail you."

The Corvette veered off onto a narrow side street, accelerating and barely dodging the various trash cans and potted plants that dotted the alleyways. It was thrilling, really, weaving in and out from among the apartment buildings and shops at 150 miles per hour. She slowed down as she approached the edge of the city, finally coming to stop in the courtyard of a large villa.

Transforming into her natural shape, she began to study her surroundings. Vertigo had to admit that Earth was a very beautiful planet. Vines of a deep green curled around the lattice structures that enclosed a place for touring humans to eat. The pillars were covered in ivy of some sort, its leaves full and vibrant in the warm summers of the Mediterranean. Violet and indigo flowers pushed forth from the tendrils of the vines, fading into a pale morning yellow as they drew closer to the center. The air was heavy with the perfume of the flora though not overpowered by its subtle aroma. She found it to be rather pleasant and contented to stand there, under the stars surrounded by the cultivated gardens of Earth. She was intent on her internal communications link, ready to jump into action if she needed to, but also relaxed, enjoying what she could.

Far off she could hear the taunts of Knockout's engine, seemingly laughing as he sped through the alleys with an ease that only another motorbike could match. He was egging the decepticons on. She found amusement in this and began to smile. He had quite the spirit. Vertigo was not terribly concerned for his safety; he had Optimus, Ironhide, Ratchet, and several humans to come to his aid.

A grim feeling began to seep into her spark, translating from her mental connection with her allies. No commands had been issued to her, supposedly this should have been a good sign. She could tell that no one was in imminent danger, but after endless moments of waiting without she had become somewhat anxious. They had not relayed any information on the battle to her, only their vaguest impressions. It was beginning to worry Vertigo. She strained her audio receptors, hearing nothing except for a collision and a stream of Cybertronian insults. A grimace formed on her face upon recognizing the voices. Swindle and Deadend.

They had never been recognized for their courage or their strength, they had been known for their speed and cunning. Vertigo could remember that. How when she had been younger and put through the rigors of mortal combat, they had been a tag-team. One would distract, the other would come in from the blind side to hit a weak spot. When she would turn to retaliate the blow, the other was ready to weaken her. Together they were a lethal force, but Vertigo had become used to them, she had learned their actions. There had been a point when Vertigo had been able to have her optics fixed on one while targeting the other. After she had nearly destroyed them, they had refused to train with her again. That had been one of her few grim satisfactions back in the Nemesis base.

Swiftly, suddenly, she was pulled from her thoughts. Something was missing, or rather, someone's link had been severed. Stress, surprise, shock, and anger emulated from the other links. The female could hear the battle starting; gun fire, explosions, shouts reached her audio receptors. Little of that mattered though, the missing link was what her attention was now focused on. She couldn't feel her leader's presence.

"Optimus!" Her voice was filled with anguish and utter terror. There was no reply.

"_Optimus_!" She tried again. "Status report! Where are you! Battle Report!? You'd better be okay!"

And once again, there was no reply. The link was as silent as it had ever been. Vertigo found herself torn, but her body wouldn't respond, it was frozen. "Prime! Answer me! Respond, Damn it!" Her vocal processors began to choke. "What's going on?... Why won't you answer?" Her optics searched vainly ahead of her. Servos began to shake, and it became and effort for her to even stand. "... … … … anything...?" Coolant seeped lethargically through her body, numbness physically trailing through her system.

"Hello, Virigo." His voice was deadly soft. Vertigo spun to face him, optics widening, paralyzing in fear as their gazes locked. A mocking smile crossed his face as he pushed himself off of the wall he had leaned leisurely on. "Oh, that's right, you call yourself _Vertigo_ now, don't you."

"Starscream." Her reply was barely louder than a whisper, trembling.

"Very good! You remembered my name." The grin turned into a sneer as he took a step towards her.

Vertigo's brow creased, arm transforming into a cannon. "Don't come any closer." Her voice was dark, weapon pointed at the seeker's chest.

Starscream's visor plates raised slightly, "An photon cannon, interesting." His smile returned, "But, we both know that you won't shoot- you don't have the backbone infrastructure for it." He took another step closer despite her warning. When she did not lower her weapon, his grin only grew larger. "What are you waiting for? I thought you were going to shoot me." Another step, her resolve was breaking, brow no longer furrowed, but rather fearful and questioning.

"Where is he?" She demanded, voice cracking.

Starscream paused as if considering something. "Where is who?" His remark was snide, grating.

"Optimus Prime! What did you do to him!?"

His fingers slid down his face in a very contemplative manner. "Optimus Prime... Optimus Prime... now where have I heard that name before...?" Slowly his optics returned staring into hers, smile reclaiming his lip components. "Oh yes _now _remember. He's the mech that you left me for, you whore."

Her mouth opened slightly, in defense. "Now, why would you do that, _Vertigo_?... Tell me, why are you calling yourself Vertigo?" He didn't give her any time to answer. "Is it because of your corkscrew dive, or the feeling that you get just after an overload? Tell me, is he gentle with you?"

Vertigo grimaced disgusted, "Just tell me what you did to him-"

"Dear, dear Virigo, why are you already accusing me if you do not know for yourself?" He took another step closer. "I only came here to talk, and yet I find you threatening me with your most powerful weapon, accusing me of harming your _leader_, and refusing to hold a civil conversation. All I wish to do is talk."

Her weapon lowered slightly, "That's all you want to do, talk? Nothing else, no abusing, no- interfacing?"

He smiled warmly, though she began to note that that geniality did not reach his optics. "Of course, I don't _want_ to harm you. You see," The seeker began to pace around the femme. "I am just curious as to why you left to join the idiot autobots. I am very disappointed in you, really. I thought you had more virtue than to go whoring yourself out to whoever you felt had more power. And then I realized, what did it matter? Because in the end, you are worthless. Even Prime, in all of his despicable 'compassion' nonsense realizes this." He glanced at Vertigo out of the corner of his optics, pleased by the look of shock and horror on her face. "But, I'll bet he's never told you it; the truth. Placating you with frivolous little words like, 'good job!' and 'you've done well'. Superficial little phrases to subdue you, keep you under his control, when in the end, you are worthless. All they care about is your body, replacing their lost comrades with your... _unique_ abilities. They lie to you, tell you that you don't have to do it if you don't want to. That's only because they know what I would do to them if I found out about it. Especially Prime-"

"You're lying!" She screeched, clamping her hands on either side of her head.

"-but then again, I doubt that he has to force you to do whatever he desires. He controls you with lies, Virigo-"

"You're lying!" Vertigo collapsed, falling to her knees.

"He doesn't care about you like I do. He wouldn't tell you Primus' honest truth like I am now."

"Shut up! You're lying!" Her voice was filled with a strange mix of anger, fear, and sorrow. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Trust me, Virigo. Right now, you're living a lie. Just like the rest of those autobums!"

"No! Shut up!" Her thoughts were blurring, her head hurt. He had to be lying. Her spark was pulsing erratically, sending electrical currents through her body at unstable rates. "You're lying!" Her voice was getting weaker and there was an odd feeling in her abdomen. Then suddenly there came a rush of energon, only half processed as it scourged her vital components and surged out of her mouth. "You're lying." She said shakily, supporting herself with her arms. "You're lying."

"Am I-?" Starscream's voice halted abruptly, head snapping to gaze at what had distracted his thoughts. His false smile focused on their new guests. "Hello, I'm surprised to see you still in one piece."

"Get away from her, Starscream." His voice was low and dark.

"Now why would I do that when I could just take her with me?" The seeker retorted mockingly. Vertigo looked up, watching as her leader bristled, gun ready to blast his enemy away.

"Get away from her, _now_! Or whatever damage you inflict upon her, I will unleash on you ten fold!" Though his voice level was not elevated, it carried with it more menace than Starscream cared to provoke.

He sneered once more, but began backing away from the female. "Have her, my work here is already done."

Vertigo could hear him taking off, but that was the last thing she could remember before everything went black.

* * *

** Another chapter completed. That makes 16 chapters! Oh la vache that is more than I have ever even dreamed of actually completing. I owe it all to you and as they say in France: Je vous aime!**

** Thanks to all of you who review- (though so far there haven't been any for chapter 15 :'() -and add Achrophobia to your favorites and/or alerts list! Happy 4th night of Chanukah!**


	17. Recharging

Ratchet's fingers drummed absently on the ledge before him as he scrutinized the images. Though it was far from his technological standards, he was quite pleased with the recently completed medical bay. It was much more effective for housing and treating autobots that needed extended time to heal. The medic frowned, placing his head in his hands, the latest energy readings were discouragingly low. A mere 1.16 megawatt average where a number four or five times as large should have been. He glanced up at the motionless female occupying one of the recharge berths. Much of her armor plating had been removed and various wires attached to her exposed protoform. She had been a nightmare to repair with only internal wounds. But, after several hours of frustration Ratchet was nearly sure that Vertigo would be fully functional within the week. Or so he hoped, her energy outputs were not a good sign. A healthy spark's stasis energy output for a cybertronian of her size should have been somewhere around 2.5 megawatts per pulse, that would be a little over the basic requirement for her life support systems and processors. That was the beauty of destabilized energon , a corrosive substance that destroyed whatever was in its path, if that happened to be laser core spark chamber, then that would be it's victim. He sighed, returning to the charts. For now, the best that he could do was wait it out, something he would have preferred not to do.

The medic could hear the sound of metal scraping against the side of the front entrance, probably Sideswipe. He had not been allowed to enter, but that had not stopped him from hovering around the four inch thick tempered steel doors. The young mech had not left his post once in all of the time that she had undergone repairs, and he still refused to leave. Ratchet had understood Vertigo's distaste at the thought of mating, her memories had taught her that it would bring pain and suffering; any self-respecting being would have cringed at pursuing what she considered affection to be. It was a difficult predicament for the both of them and whatever unfortunate soul had been pulled into their unending conflict.

Ratchet turned his head as he heard the familiar sound of a door sliding closed. His leader had never ceased to amaze him with the softness of his footfalls despite his enormous size. He looked up at him as he approached, but then returned to trying to decode the troublesome puzzle of the energy readings.

"How is she?" Prime asked after a moment. The concern in his voice was raw, unmasked with an undertone of regret.

The autobot medic glanced at his leader, "The critical period is over and she is almost fully stabilized. The only problem right now is her spark's energy output." He moved over slightly to show him the latest charts. "It is much too low for a cybertronian of her size. I'm working on it though."

"I know." There was an uneasy silence as Ratchet typed in a few more codes on his datapad. His attention returned to Optimus, watching as his leader gaze at the still femme on the recharge berth. "Was I a fool in requesting her presence?" The question was low, thoughtful.

"No. She can be extremely quick on her feet, it was reasonable to have her there. You did not know that this would be her reaction to encountering Starscream." He paused for a moment, "It could just as well have been a trap to lure us off base. A wise autobot once told me that you can't change the past, no matter what mistakes are made: what's done is done. Besides, she would have willingly volunteered if you hadn't asked. "

Optimus was silent, contemplating. Back slightly arched, hands clasped together behind him, he was tense, but also tired. His optics never wavered as he continued to observe Vertigo.

Ratchet put his datapad down for a moment, again looking at the seemingly lifeless female. Finally, after what seemed to be hours, he broke the silence. "She is a very beautiful femme." He let his optics focus on his leader, waiting to see his reaction, "I can see why Sideswipe has taken such a liking to her."

The Prime's only reply was a soft rumble from somewhere deep inside of his chest, as if agreeing with his medic. Halfway between a sigh of annoyance and a comply. "This topic has already been closed from discussion, Ratchet." His voice was stern.

"I still do not understand why." Ratchet pressed, visor plates raised slightly.

"I have given you my reasons." His back stiffened though it was barely noticeable.

"Prime..." The exasperation of the yellow mech showed clearly on his face. He shook his head after a moment and looked up to see his commander silently chuckling. A smile tugged at the medic's lip components.

"Just there you sounded exactly as you did back on Iacon when you would become frustrated with me for not agreeing to all of the representatives' terms."

"And you're still just as stubborn now as you were back then." Ratchet commented snidely.

Prime grinned, casting a glance at his medical specialist. "But they still found ways to bypass the laws constructed in my time."

"Remember the time that we were over Chief Representative Aduro's home, and he had an illegal slave?"

"And he insisted that she was just a servant. How could I forget?" Mused Optimus.

"You had Aduro scared oilless." The medic looked down at his charts again.

"I know. You were the one who had to restrain me from dragging him to the High Council."

Silence engulfed the medbay once more, only broken by the steady whirring of human engineered motors pumping an orange liquid into Vertigo's body. Ratchet scanned her once more. "Her energy is still low, but it has increased by 15.3 percent."

They watched as, slowly, her fingers twitched, one by one, curled into a fist, then relaxed.

* * *

"She's waking." A soft voice from far away roused her from her unconscious thoughts. She felt weak, her limbs were heavy, but she forced her optics to open. Her vision was blurred, dim. Echoes of _You're nothing_ still drifted through her hazed mind. She could barely make out the vague shape of someone standing over her. But she knew that shape well, and she allowed herself a mental reprieve from the nothingness swirling around in her processors.

"How are you feeling?" Optimus' concerned voice drifted through her audio receptors.

"Like scrap." There was a subtle rasp to her vocals that she did not like. Her sight was becoming more focused.

Her leader gazed down at her, optics locking with her own. _He controls you with lies, Virigo. He doesn't care about you_. She averted her vision, shame coursing through her body. The silence that permeated the air was suffocating, Vertigo felt it constricting around her. A tangible shackle binding her to destructive thoughts.

She looked down at the floor, fingers curling around a kink in her thigh plate. Her visor plates narrowed, "Would you lie to me?" Asked the femme, unease and sorrow tinting her voice.

Optimus was quiet for a moment before replying, "No."

Her optics closed for a few seconds before reopening, face mournful. "How do I know that you're not lying now?" Vertigo glanced up at him.

His optics softened, the ghost of a smile playing on his lip components. "It is a little thing called trust. Just as I trust that you are not lying to me, you must trust that I am not lying to you."

She nodded her head slowly, thoughtfully. "I have not lied to you." She replied, finally meeting his gaze again.

"Then it is logical to say that I have not lied to you, Virigo."

"...yeah." The femme did not smile, but her fears had been relieved for the time being.

Optimus' tone was gentle as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Do not let your mind dwell on such matters. Starscream does not control you any longer. Focusing on what he may have told you back there would be placing your trust in him and giving him control over your freedom."

Vertigo nodded again. "I'm sorry. It's just so confusing sometimes," She paused then continued to elaborate on what she had just said. "Being bombarded with a thousand different philosophies, told so many definitions of right and wrong, it's just difficult trying to discern what the truth is, and what are deceptions. I just become unsure of who or what I should trust."

"You can trust me." He told her.

Once again she nodded, not needing to wear out her vocal processor any more than necessary.

"Rest and recover, I shall visit you again soon." Murmured Optimus, turning his back, he walked away, stopping only to murmur something to Ratchet. Then as he left through the front doors, he cast an amused glance over his shoulder, "Someone's here to see you."

"Vertigo!" A silver blur melded into Sideswipe as he abruptly stopped next to the recharge berth in which the femme was resting. He looked her over once or twice, outrage manifesting itself on his features. "Who did this to you!? I will hunt them down and tear them limb from limb! Then I shall throw them into the great incinerators of a smelting factory and scatter the ashes across the cold universe! Who did this to you!?" The mech demanded, hands balled into large fists on either of his sides. His blades detracted, as if threatening an unseen enemy.

"Keep your noise level down!" Ratchet hissed from beside a large monitor. "Do you want to stress her condition?"

Sideswipe's optics widened for a split second, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

Vertigo cut him off. "It's alright, Sides. I doubt your outburst will have done any more harm than my speaking with you right now."

His mood did not lighten, "You didn't answer my question. Who did this to you?" The tone in his voice was a quiet and dark mix of menace and concern. He leaned close to her, waiting for her reply.

She hesitated for a moment, stunned by his intensity. "... Starscream."

His visor plates narrowed considerably. "That disgusting excuse for a mech. I will tear off his wings and melt them down for scrap. You can have his head as a trophy."

"Ummm... no thanks. You can keep his head, I don't want it staring at me all the time." She smiled slightly, though felt a little awkward when he placed his hand on her own.

"Okay then, I will keep his head. And when we finally get quarters of our own, I will mount it on a plaque and hang in on the wall so that whenever anyone walks by it, it will start singing a song about being a fool."

"Whatever helps you recharge at night." Vertigo murmured.

His optics left her own, trailing her body a few times. "Y'know, this would be the perfect moment if you weren't hooked up to so many tubes."

She frowned indignantly. "Would you stop looking at me like I'm an energon cube?"

Sideswipe returned his gaze to her optics, playful smile lighting his features. "I don't look at you like you're an energon cube. You're _way_ better than an energon cube. You're more like ten energon cubes and a side of premium oil."

"That'll really earn you points." The femme replied sarcastically.

"I know it will." He teased. After looking her over once more, their gazes locked again. "I'm just saying that you sprawled out on a berth with most of your armor missing is extremely sexy. I think you should try this again sometime, when you've finished healing of course... and there aren't a hundred different tubes obscuring the view. And Ratchet isn't around." He cast a glance over his shoulder to look at the medic, smirk donning his face.

Ratchet raised a visor plate, "Don't come running to me after she rips out your intimate circuitry and throws it into the ocean."

Sideswipe looked back at Vertigo nervously, "You wouldn't really do that... would you?"

She smiled, "I don't know. Why don't you try it after I've healed? We can find out then."

The young mech straightened, resting his hands on his hips. "You'll see it my way eventually."

* * *

**Happy New Year everyone! Thank you for reading and favoriting and reviewing! Now on to 2010!**


	18. Surprise

Vertigo rolled her optics, "Yeah, yeah, Ratch. I know: stay away from high voltage power cords, no overexerting myself during training, no letting Jolt's electrical whips near me. I _know_ the drill."

Ratchet folded his arms, frowning. "You forgot to say, 'no interfacing'. If you knew the supposed 'drill' that well, you would have said that too."

Her visor plates narrowed, "Yeah, like I'm really going to go interface with every fragging mech I see."

"I'm serious Vertigo. It only takes one overload to-"

She cut him off, "Seriously, Ratchet. You don't need to be telling me this. I'm not going to be interfacing with anyone... _ever._"

He shook his head, frustrated with the femme. "Stubborn youngling." He gestured with a hand for her to leave. "If you end up in here again because of some mech..."

Vertigo smiled, "Don't worry, Ratchet. I'm a big femme. I can take care of myself." Though her words were genial enough, they seemed hollow, empty. A small white lie that she knew was not true.

She turned to leave, walking out of the med bay doors. Quickly, she cocked her head to the side, catching a wrench as it flew past her face. "That was way too predictable, Doc!" The femme called out over her shoulder. "And don't think that you're getting this back! Finders keepers!" Behind her she heard the medic mutter something crossly. Vertigo grinned, turning around, "What was that? I can't hear you!" When he again muttered a crass response, she returned to walking away. A small laugh escaped her vocal processor. Twirling the wrench around her finger, the femme went slowly towards the main base.

After a few moments Vertigo stopped, holding the wrench fast in one hand, her visor plates narrowed. With a purpose, she turned on her heel, determined strides carrying her through the brush and growth native to Diego Garcia. The altitude increased steadily as she climbed to the highest peak of the atoll. Finally, her pace slowed, movement halting altogether as she stood at her destination.

The femme looked down at the roaring waves crashing against the jagged rocks that jutted out from the shallow ocean floor. A smile formed on her lip plates, toeing the edge of the cliff. Her optics closed, letting her joints loosen, and then, she let herself fall. The air whistled around her in a fashion most pleasant. She spiraled, counting the seconds and meters as they passed. Then suddenly her optics opened, watching the rocks rushing to meet her.

The thrill of falling canceled out any worries or doubts that she may have had. Realizing that it would be quite dangerous for her to fall any further, Vertigo transformed, veering to the left and soaring just millimeters from the water's surface. The water parted for her, creating a wall in her wake. She turned, wing tip skimming and displacing the water. As she approached the cliff face, she went into a steep vertical climb, then looped and spun until her cockpit faced the ground.

The female rocketed off into the sky, flying upside-down, then righting her position. From an altitude of several thousand feet, she surveyed the island below her. She could see the humans bustling about their work, rushing to and fro. Then, as she was above the main base, Vertigo entered a corkscrew dive, spinning and rushing toward the ground. At the last moment possible she swerved, wing barely missing the ground as she transformed and rolled, inertia directed horizontally rather than vertically. The initial impact with the earth hurt of course, leaving a small crater where she had hit. Dazed, she uncurled her now stiff and aching joints, blinking a few times to clear her head. Then, as if possessed by some madness, the femme began to laugh hysterically.

"Primus, Veritgo! Are you trying to kill yourself!?" Sideswipe's shocked and concerned voice met her audio receptors as he skated towards her.

She smiled, looking up at him. "Nonsense, I had all of the trajectories and times calculated." Vertigo laughed once more, picking herself up off of the ground and rubbing her shoulder. Absentmindedly, she stretched, showing off a surprisingly flexible body. "Besides," The female began, "I haven't tried that move since Skywarp-" Her mouth closed, smile fading. Entire body seeming to freeze as she looked at Sideswipe, realizing with horror who she was speaking to and what she had been about to say. She turned around, walking away quickly.

"'Since Skywarp' what?" The young mech asked, chasing after her.

"It's nothing." Vertigo bowed her head.

"C'mon. Tell me!" He pestered her, curiosity piquing.

"No, it's none of your concern." She replied, looking up at him finally.

There was a wicked glint in his optics and a chesire cat grin donned his lip plates. "How about a deal?"

The female raised a visor plate skeptically. "A deal? What sort of deal?"

"The sort of deal that begins with a mock fight: If I win, you have to tell me what you were about to say before. If you win, you don't have to tell me anything." He replied.

Vertigo considered this for a moment, then slowly nodded her head. "You've got yourself a deal."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Sideswipe said, grin widening.

"Tine and place?" The femme asked emotionlessly.

"Right here, right now."

"Regulations?"

"Anything goes, but preferably hand to hand combat." He told her, moving away from her. They stood still, optics watching the other for movement. "Don't expect me to hold back just because you're a femme. You're about to get a lesson from the master."

"Right. Don't cry when I kick your aft." Vertigo held her position, mimicking her counterpart's stance. She was still, calculating all of the moves that he could do and how she would be able to deflect them and retaliate. She waited, servos tensed and spring loaded.

For a long while, they just stood, staring at each other. Then, he lunged. Lightning fast, she was prepared, jumping quickly out of his way and aiming a kick to his abdominal armor. He dodged it, turning 180 degrees and returning for another lunge, she again jumped to the right. Sideswipe was prepared, catching her arm and dragging her into a wrestling match. She pushed against his weight, then pulled, throwing him over her shoulder.

He landed gracefully, arcing around to face her. "You're pretty strong... for a femme." He said, pausing momentarily.

"Is that a compliment?" She asked, aiming a punch at his chest plating.

He took her punch, rolling with it to minimize the impact. "I'm not sure." Sideswipe grunted, kicking her legs out from under her.

Vertigo hopped up, flipping backwards to get away from him. Landing quickly on her feet, she dodged his next attack. Agility evenly matched, Sideswipe tried a new approach. Waiting until she struck at him again, he pulled her into another match of pure strength. Caught off guard, she again tried to throw him, but as she pulled back, so did he. She struggled, optics narrowing in her efforts. The femme frowned, kicking Sideswipe's chassis. He let go of her, though now certain that he would indeed be able to win.

"Ready to give up yet?" He asked her, rocketing toward her, catching her off guard.

She rolled onto her back, sending the mech flying with his own inertia. Vertigo got up, "Not unless you are."

"Not bad," Commented Sideswipe, dusting his armor off leisurely, "But, I've only been warming up."

"Good. Otherwise, I would have thought all of this hype about your skills was wasted." She retorted blandly, mentally cursing herself for getting involved in this fight.

Again, they clashed, grappling against each other. He pushed his weight against her, nearly buckling her knees. And then a victorious smile lightened his face. She tried to shrink back, but to no avail. He wrapped his leg behind hers, and pushing with one arm and puling with the other, he pinned her to the ground. Hands clasping her wrists, he held them to her sides, legs kneeling on either side of her hips. Their optics locked, a look of triumph enveloped to male. Vertigo looked up at him, stunned. For a moment, time held still, gazes crossing.

Sideswipe opened his mouth as if to say something, but then stopped, features softening, servos relaxing. She watched him with wide optics as his optics began to close, leaning down, his lip plates met her own gently. The femme squeaked in surprise, body shivering. Her spark began to pulse rapidly, sending surges of electricity through her circuitry. She closed her optics tightly, willing it all to go away. Vertigo was frozen in fear, unable to move even after he let go of her wrist joint, cupping his hand around the side of her face. Vaguely her mind registered that he tasted of cobalt, energon, and the salt of the Pacific. His hand moved to her side, rubbing against it softly, while his lip plates trailed down her jaw, brushing against her neck. She let out a gasp of fear which he mistook for pleasure. Sideswipe shifted, letting his body rest on top of her own. Vertigo could feel the thrumming of his spark, and she shuddered violently. He trailed down farther, fingers somehow managing to slip under her armor, she gasped, unwillingly arching her back as he massaged her tender wiring. The mech let out a low soft moan of complete ecstasy. He stopped finally, after something cold and hard had pressed against his chest. He had never heard the sound of an ion cannon charging, but he knew that it wasn't something that he wanted to mess with now. His dimmed optics locked with her own.

"I win." Vertigo stated firmly, gun pressed to his spark's outermost casing.

Sideswipe cleared his vocal processor awkwardly, "...yeah." His voice hoarse from his unsatiated desire.

She shoved him off of her, getting up and walking away, though her steps were uneasy and shaky. Humans looked between them, eyes wide with what they had just happened to walk in on. Transforming, the femme ignored their stares and drove into the main hangar, cooling systems struggling to maintain her temperature.

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_Woo hoo! Chapter 18 is complete!!! I bet none of you were expecting that... well, neither was I... at least for this chapter. This last scene I had actually planned for much much later in the story, but I had writers block and I thought that it would make a very nice chapter. Thank you all for reading! And don't forget to review, please. When I don't receive reviews I assume that people don't read it, when I know that they actually do. So please be sweet hearts and tell me what your opinions o the story are so far. _=D


	19. Chop Sticks

Vertigo sat on the edge of the cliff, watching the water churn around her. It reminded her of how her energon tanks were feeling at the moment. She rubbed her face in her hands, suppressing the utter disgust she was feeling. It had been nearly two weeks since her incident with Sideswipe and, still, she found herself unable to process what had happened. It felt surreal and disturbing. She didn't like it at all.

Them femme rested her chin on her knees, torn and confused. She nearly choked out a sob. This was the exact sort of situation that she had wanted to completely forget. And here it was, rearing it's despicable head so that she could once again face it. She breathed a sigh. It wasn't going to get out of control. Not this time. She refused to let it.

Vertigo was afraid. Analyzing her situation, she had found a problem rooted much deeper. Something at the core of her very spark that had caused her much more terror than Sideswipe's advances... That something was herself. She had been frightened when Sideswipe had pinned her, of course. But, searching deeper, she was no longer sure if it had just been fear that had paralyzed her. The femme had begun to wonder if, somehow, desire had also assisted that fear in freezing her servos. If passion had taken over for a long moment, craving something that she despised like a sadistic masochist. She shook her head, visor plates narrowing in frustration. Or, perhaps, she was over-analyzing her actions just as she had always done.

It was confusing, so she did what she knew how to do. She suppressed it. She suppressed it just like she suppressed all of the uncomfortable emotions that she had begun to feel. She suppressed it just like all of the dreams that she had had when she was a sparkling.

And as for Sideswipe... Vertigo would break him. She would crush any hopes of her becoming his mate. Then, and only then, would things return to the comfortable states which they had once been.

Everything would return to normal.

The femme stood up, wanting to punch something, but resisting the urge. She round-house kicked the air, letting herself turn on her heel. With a sigh, she stretched her neck and rolled her shoulders, preparing to jump.

"Virigo." His transmission startled her, causing the femme to straighten her posture. "There has been a decepticon incursion in Shanghai. Please report to the landing strip, we'll need your assistance."

She nodded to herself, "Understood."

The transmission ended. Vertigo smiled to herself, servos tensing with the expectations of a battle. The thrill of the fight was a welcome subject, there was no need to think during battle. She bent again, sprinting to the edge of the cliff and leaping into the open skies. Transforming, she executed a clean barrel roll and looped around, heading towards the main hangar. In a few seconds, she returned to her bi-pedal form dropped out of the air, landing next to one of the C-17s.

Noticing Sideswipe, she grimaced, visor plates narrowing with contempt. He flinched, wheeling over to her. She turned her back, striding to the opening of the large transport jet.

"Vertigo." The mech called out to her. Vertigo ignored him, transforming into a sleek Centennial and driving into the spacious storage compartment. "Vertigo, listen to me." He slid in next to her. She revved her engine, growling at him. "Please."

"Shut up and leave me alone." The femme replied poisonously.

"Just hear me out!" His voice was filled with miserable resignation. "I....... I'm sorry." He was hesitant, as if he were unsure of how to elaborate. When Vertigo did not respond to his apology, the mech continued. "I didn't plan for that to happen... it just sort of did."

She made a noise of skepticism. When she spoke, it was with an air of icy resentment. "_It just happened..._" She scoffed, engine idling softly. "Things _don't_ just happen."

Though he was in his alt-mode, she could sense him wince at her remark. "I've told you I'm sorry. What more do you want from me?" He seemed defeated. "My spark? Because if that's the case, you already have that."

"I want nothing from you, Sideswipe, so take your apologies and your spark back. I don't want them." Vertigo stated firmly. "Sorry."

He again winced, dejected. "I can't take them back. Just like I can't take what I did back what happened before. I'm sorry. At least let me explain myself." She didn't answer him, watching as Arcee, Chromia, and Flareup entered the aircraft. "I don't know what I was thinking, Vertigo. Honestly, I'm not sure that I was even thinking at all."

"That's an understatement."

"I never meant for this to happen..."

"Obviously." The femme commented snidely.

"Can you forgive me?" Sideswipe asked. Something about the way he had said that created a small pang in Vertigo's spark. She didn't want to break him. He was trying his hardest, actually humbling himself enough to apologize. And for a moment, she softened slightly.

"I'll take it into consideration. Just, never pull a stunt like that again..." Her voice was stern, but tired.

She could feel the relief emulating from the mech as he said, "Thanks." His door opened, nudging her side gently. She shied away from his touch.

Vertigo squirmed slightly as she felt the gazes of the other femmes. They were more than likely chatting amongst themselves as to what they had just seen. She didn't care though. It didn't matter anymore.

Sideswipe was silent, but Vertigo could feel him scrutinizing her. She didn't mind it as much as she had used to. When he had first arrived on Earth, she had been terrified of him. The femme had avoided him at all costs, hating how he had looked at her and how he had addressed her. It had been a confusing and uncomfortable ordeal that, thankfully, had become a thing of the past.

With a sigh, she slipped into a comfortable recharge. Echoes of the familiar sense that she had been feeling returned with a more compelling force. An ache that would neither fade, nor leave. It was a difficult emotion to deal with, so she didn't. She allowed it to intoxicate her processors in the dim nothingness of stasis. There was nothing at all that she could have done to suppress it anyway. Like a memory form a different life, it was pleasant, but in a bittersweet way. A sparkling curled in the crook of her guardian's armor once again.

It seemed as if she had been reactivated much too abruptly. "We're here." Sideswipe told her softly, nudging her side paneling lightly.

Blinking the last stasis from her optics, she slid out of the large jet. Vertigo looked around her. She had never seen this city from the ground before. Fluorescent lights dotted the desolate street. Warehouses lined up in a row. From somewhere in the near distance she could hear the noise of busy humans; walking, talking, driving, carrying out their daily lives without even the slightest notice of their arrival. They didn't realize that they had been in danger all of this time... but why would they? Humans often thought no further than themselves, and very few even thought that perhaps there was life that they did not know existed.

"Yo, man, dose decepticreeps better watch out now." A voice interrupted her thoughts. She focused on a new object, a purple and white ice cream truck. A snicker escaped her vocal processors.

"Be ready ta meet Skids n' Mudflap, Bitches!"

Sideswipe let out a low noise of utter disgust. "And to think that I had the honor of training these _imbeciles_…." His grill seemed to frown, windshield almost narrowing.

Vertigo smiled to herself. "The screws don't fall far from the conjunction." She muttered.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked her.

"Oh, nothing… nothing at all, Sides." The femme replied airily.

Skepticism rolled off of him in waves. "Right. As long as we're cool…."

"We're far from _cool_, Sideswipe." She told him, distancing herself from the silver 'Vette.

"But- You said… I thought…" Stammered Sideswipe.

"I said that I would _consider_ it. That does not mean that you're home free. You have to _earn_ my forgiveness, it is _not_ a gratuity."

The mech sighed, defeated. "Fine."

A purple and white ice cream truck rolled up to them. "Hey, Verdago, what's crackin'?"

"Yeah, we hasn't seen yous in forever."

"Dear Primus…" She murmured to herself, then addressed the twins. "First of all, my name is not Verdago; it is Vertigo… With an 'i' sound as in igloo, interest, illiterate. It also has a 't' sound as in train or torrent. See? Ver_t_-_i_-go. Ver_t_-_i_-go. And secondly: you saw me yesterday."

"Yes, ma'am… er, Vertigo." The twins replied in unison. The femme heard Sideswipe chuckle.

"Much better, boys. Much better. Now, to answer your question, I am fine." Vertigo said.

Before they had a chance to finish striking up a conversation with her, Lennox walked briskly over to them. He patted the female's roof, "We need you on air support."

"I'm on it." She responded, separating herself from the human so that she could transform. Vertigo took off, feeling the wind whipping past her outer armor. The coolness of night mixing with the heat of summer to create a perfect harmony of the senses. A shiver rippled through her servos and she turned around, circling the perimeter. Noticing the C-17 also doing as she did, the femme flew over to join it. It was seldom that she had company in the air.

She surveyed the area, homing in on the decepticon's location. Though she was unsure of where he was, she did know one thing. He was huge. It would take everything they had to bring him down. That much she was certain of.

"It's bouncing the signal." She heard Epps say into their small communication radios.

"It's in between the two warehouses. I can't tell where exactly it is." Vertigo replied.

"Shit." The man muttered. For a few moments the wavelength was silent. Then, from somewhere below her, she heard it. The signature sound of the cybertronian language.

"Annoying insects." The words translated.

The piercing clangor of metal scraping against metal echoed through the night. A vicious roar escaped the decepticon's vocal processor as concrete tubing and pits of blacktop were sent crashing into where the humans had been preparing. Their screams rang in her audio receptors.

Vertigo dove, her prediction had been correct. The deceptcon was massive. She peppered the colossus with her machine guns, darting past its head. He ignored her, instead, propping himself up and fleeing the scene.

She sped after him, peripherals picking up another retreating decepticon. The femme let out a low oath, she could not be in two places at once. So, the stealth fight continued on her course, weaving in and out, firing blast after blast. Nothing seemed to be taking much effect. "Target locked and heading toward quarantine barrier. Requesting backup." She relayed.

"I'm on my way." Her leader replied, voice deep and authoritative. Her spark nearly fluttered, this would be the first time that she had ever fought by his side. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought that she would literally be fighting beside him, thoughts meshing and minds acting as one. There was something about sharing a battle that knitted two minds together. Something that she had severed not long ago.

She turned to the side, dodging the mech's arm as it flew up to swat her out of the air. Twisting out of his range, she again fired, transforming in mid-air for a few seconds to fire her ion cannon. Angrily the decepticon looked at her, their optics locked. Quickly, the femme returned to her jet mode, shooting out or his reach once again. Like a hornet trying to drive a bear away from her nest, Vertigo repeated her tactic.

"Autobots, I'm in pursuit." Optimus' voice echoed over the wavelength.

With a renewed vigor, she weaved in and out, striking where the opportunity presented itself. "Target has left the quarantined area. Heads are going to roll." With a pang of regret, she watched at the behemoth decepticon rolled over innocent civilians and homes, crushing the life native to the planet. It had to be stopped.

As it was about to plow through a bridge, she saw Prime. He transformed into his bi-pedal shape and launched himself onto the enemy. Even her powerful leader's size was dwarfed in comparison to the mech that they now fought. A few missiles collided with the large creature, a gift from their own weapons specialist.

Vertigo went low, aiming for the enemy's legs. "Pull over!" She heard Optimus tell the 'con, along with a few heavy shots to its head.

The decepticon wobbled, swerving. She winced as it killed several more humans under its treads with blatant disregard. But, with a groan, it toppled over, barely missing the femme as she whizzed under him. A shudder ran through the Earth as he fell, crater forming.

Ironhide rolled up, transforming, face filled with noting but contempt. Optimus landed beside it's now mutilated head. And Vertigo circled above them, waiting to see if it would stir again. "Any last words?" Her leader asked it. Even to the most despicable of creatures, Optimus showed mercy, causing the femme to feel another rush of awe toward him.

"This is not your planet to rule!" The decepticon choked out. Vertigo frowned, watching... waiting. "_The Fallen shall rise again!_" The words reverberated through her audio receptors, chilling her to the very core. It was as if time had stopped, allowing Vertigo to feel every pulse of her spark. Her body tensed, transforming and diving down onto the machine's chassis.

She made no effort to cushion her impact, letting its force and her taloned feet disfigure the armor plating. She leaned over him, optics narrowed and features livid. "_He. Will.__** Not**__. Rise._" Every syllable that left her vocal processor was laced with icy venom. Letting her arm configure into an ion blaster, she aimed at his neck, severing his head from his shoulders. Her vents cycled, hands clenching into fierce fists. For a moment it was silent.

The humans regarded her with wary eyes, guns at the ready, while her leader looked at her, concerned. "Virigo," He began, striding slowly over to her. She shied away from him, restless and uneasy. "What was that about?" His voice soothed her somewhat, but she still looked around as if frightened by something.

"H-he... needed to be... terminated...." She said hesitantly, afraid of the repercussions of her actions. The femme rubbed her arm anxiously, nervously bowing her head.

"Virigo-" He tried again.

She interrupted him, "It was his own fault!" The femme pleaded, finally looking up at him.

"Virigo." Optimus said gently, waiting for another outburst. When she only looked at him timidly he continued, "Who is the Fallen?"

Vertigo bit her lower lip plate, glancing at her feet. Dejectedly she stated, "My creator."

They were quiet, and then the Prime spoke again. "Starscream is not your creator?"

She shook her head, "No.... He took care of me, guarded me, did most of my training and raising, his spark helped to give me life... but, no. He is not my actual creator." The femme explained quietly.

There was a heavy silence that hung in the air. All eyes and optics were trained on the lithe femme. And finally, Optimus nodded slowly, understandingly. It was difficult for her. "The Fallen shall not rise." He told her softly.

Gratefully, she smiled at him. "I know." She said, thoughtfully. "And even if he does... I know you can defeat him."

Their optics locked for a long moment, until a small conspicuous cough from Lennox broke their seeming trance. Vertigo looked away quickly abashed. "We are already halfway to the arctic circle..." She stated, trailing off.

"Understood." Replied her leader professionally. "Don't skip refueling in Japan." He cautioned, though his voice seemed strained and distracted.

"I know."


	20. Devastation

**Woot! Chapter 20! This is a very exciting chapter for me to write I must admit. And it will be a momentous chapter for the story also. I have a surprise in store for all of you lovely loyal readers so buckle up and expect some magic to work. And I'm sorry that it's been taking me so long to update... my life has gotten incredibly busy again.**

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Vertigo let out a soft contented moan, soft rags polishing her armored exterior. She loved the Japanese NEST base. Everyone was so polite, fawning, and they loved the fact that there were actually female robots out there. But, the best part was the sense that she was always welcome and always would be. It was a wonderful feeling.

"All done, Ferutigo-sama." The private said, wiping down one of her windows. That was another thing she loved about Japan; the way they pronounced her name. Unlike how the twins mispronounced her name, these humans could not help it; they had no V in their vocabulary. He stood back as if admiring his work, a smile on his face.

"You don't have to add '-sama' all the time. I'm perfectly fine with just Vertigo without the honorifics." She replied.

The human beamed even wider as she spoke, as if her voice emulating from under the hood of the car had made his day. "Nonsense, Ferutigo-sama. That is as if I were to tell a dog not to love and respect me."

The femme sighed, that was the only thing that she didn't care for here. They were much too formally polite. That was something that she couldn't stand. "You are a sentient being, and therefore my equal. Please, regard me as such."

"H-hai Ferutigo-sama." The man replied uneasily.

"No, no more Vertigo-sama. Just Vertigo." She insisted.

"Hai, Fe- Ferutigo."

"See, no calamities happened, the laws of physics still apply, there is no breaking down of discipline." Vertigo smiled to herself, feeling the fresh energon finally beginning to be absorbed. Relaxing a little, then transformed into an F-22. The human laughed, awestruck. "I'll see be back in about a day." She told him, shooting out of the hangar.

After a few moments, she commed her leader, "Just finished refueling at NEST base Delta-H. ETA to the drop point is seven hours and forty-two minutes."

"Understood, Virigo." He transmitted back.

The femme hesitated, keeping the wavelength active. "Um... Optimus?" She began meekly.

"Yes?"

Her vocal processor struggled for a few seconds. "Um..." She began. Then gave up. "... never mind...."

"Are you sure?" Optimus asked.

"Yeah... It was nothing." She murmured. "I'll comm you in a bit." Vertigo severed the connection, deep in thought. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to say what had been on her mind... especially since she wasn't even sure that what her processor was telling her was true. The jet shrugged it off. There would be time to sort it all out later. Right now what was important was keeping on the path.

The water whipped by below her, fathoms upon fathoms deep. Spray hit her as she flew, but never stayed long, evaporating and rolling off of her as her speeding form continued on. Hours upon endless hours of flight had never been what she had been built for, but she found it to be wonderful all the same. There was nothing to tie her down, nothing to get in her way. Up here, it was only her and the sky. A black silhouette in the heavens dancing among the silver lining of the clouds. In the air, nothing could hurt her.

The silence was a welcome break from the normal monotony of life. It was a relaxing solitude. She scanned the area, watching for any decepticons in the vicinity. Even though she was still several thousand miles from the Laurentian Abyss, one could never be too careful.

Countless minutes passed, blending into hours. She was numb, armor feeling nothing save for the wind rushing past it. It was best this way though, it was better to feel nothing than to feel pain. Again, she allowed the fantasies that claimed her during stasis to reemerge. Something that caused her blind terror and warmth at the same time. It occupied her otherwise inactive mind, claiming her spark in a way that was both exhilarating and soothing. She found it to be captivating; something that she hadn't dreamed about since she had been a sparkling.

A deep authoritative voice interrupted her thoughts, startling the femme. "Keep on your guard, Virigo. The Allspark shard has been stolen."

Immediately, her mood darkened. "Seriously?"

"Yes." He replied.

"I swear, humans need to learn to take better care of what they are guarding." The femme muttered crossly, nothing was coming up on her radar. "Slag. This is bad."

"Return to headquarters." Optimus said after a moment. "We need to regroup."

She seemed to waver, wondering if she should speak openly. Then finally said, "I'll reach the drop point in fifty six minutes. To turn back now would be a waste of fuel. And if I were to head back to HQ now, then it would still be another twenty hours or so until I arrive."

"We do not know what the decepticons are planning, we need to plan out a strategy." Cautioned her leader.

"Optimus, it's right there. I'll be fine, strategize without me or something. Either way it will still be another day until I'm back. Please, I'll even keep the wavelength active and transmit everything from here to the drop point."

With a heavy sigh, he finally conceded. "Be careful."

"I will."

Seconds turned into minutes, still nothing appeared on her radar. The likelihood of the decepticons even being at the Laurentian Abyss was less that 2.381 percent. No fantasies dared to entertain her mind as she flew now. There would be time for that later... besides, an open channel was not where she would wish to disclose her innermost feelings.

"Forty three minutes until drop point." She relayed.

Every pulse of her spark seemed to slow down. Time had seemed to stop, only their consciousnesses held tied together. Vertigo was no longer alone on her journey.

"Thirty one minutes until arrival."

She was nervous, but not terribly so. The decepticons wouldn't be able to make it to the drop point in such a short amount of time. Energy coursed through her servos, and if they had made it, then she would be ready.

"Seventeen minutes."

The nervousness faded and reassurance took its place. There would be no decepticon activity. It was just a false alarm. They would never be so brash as to steal the shard and attempt to gain access to Megatron in the same day. No. They would wait.

"Eight minutes. Still nothing on the radar, Optimus."

"Do not lower your guard." He replied.

"I haven't." She murmured. "But so far, it's been looking pretty clear down here."

Again silence enveloped them. Finally, her radar began to pick up something. It was nothing out of the ordinary though, just the submarines and battle ships continuously watching over the fallen decepticon leader's remains.

"This is NEST Reconnaissance-1 Vertigo requesting Captain Taylor Melbourne." Vertigo radioed the small fleet.

"S-172ZA, Captain Taylor Melbourne reporting." Came the human's voice over the wavelength.

"Status report." Veritgo stated simply.

"It's been pretty quiet down here, no unusual occurrences. It's been clear." He told her. "But you're nearly a week early, what's up?"

"I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by and say hello." The femme replied with a smile to herself, but, the smile faded and her voice darkened with a more serious note. "The decepticon's have the last shard of the Allspark. I just need to check around."

"Oh." His voice was grim. "That's not good."

"Tell me about it." She turned, circling around the perimeter a few times. There was nothing unusual or even worthy of notice. "Optimus, there's nothing out of the ordinary here." She sent him the images. "I'm heading back now-" Something moved on her radar causing her to fall silent. That something was not one of the usual ships. It sent a chill down her backbone infrastructure. "Hold on." She sent silently.

The femme moved in a little closer, slowing her speed, watching as what she had thought to be the normal cargo of a freighter transformed into several cybertronians and dropped into the ocean. Without thinking, she ended the transmission, shifting into her bi-pedal shape and landing where they had been. "Slag." She muttered.

"Virigo, get out of there. Return to base. _Now._" The wavelength reactivated.

With a sinking feeling she nodded, "I'm on my way. Slag this is not good."

She tensed her servos, preparing to transform, only to have something collide with her back very painfully. It tore and slashed, dislocating some of her protective outer armor. Vertigo tumbled into the ocean, thrashing trying to dislodge the intruder from her body.

"Frag!" She finally managed to close her hands around whatever had snuck up on her. The femme threw it, transforming her right arm into an ion cannon. A projectile hit her. "There's too many!"

A gasp of pain escaped her vocal processor. "Virigo! Retreat!" His voice strained over the transmission.

"What in Pit do you think I'm trying to do!" She snapped, firing at the nearest decepticon. The femme desperately tried to ascend to the air, but the water and constant blaster fire prevented her from doing so. With a sinking feeling, she knew that the end had begun. "I'm not getting out of here alive." She transmitted calmly. "But, I'll bring as many of them as I can with me to the Matrix."

There was an icy silence, only the sound of of her pain and counter shots permeated the link. "You will make it out of there, Virigo. Fall back!"

She let out a low groan of pain, "I'm trying!" Ravage shot at her, bullets piercing he armor. "Tell Sideswipe that I'm sorry! And that I forgive him for everything! And that I never meant to hurt him!"

A hand clamped around Vertigo's leg, pulling her even further down into the water. All chances of escape were null and void. Just as she had told Prime, she was not getting out of this alive. "Let go of me you glitch!" She fired downward, kicking, struggling to free herself. She couldn't give up hope.

Another one grabbed her arm, doing its best to sever it from her torso. The femme transformed it into a blade, hacking at the decepticon.

"Virigo. Hang in there!" Optimus' voice was filled with concern straining to find the right words to comfort and encourage her.

"It's all right." She said softly. "I'd rather die in battle than any other way." But, it was far from alright. Her emotions were on end, pain was coursing through ever diode of her body. She was terrified. Finally, she choked out a sob. "Primus help me! I don't want to die!"

"... I'm here, Virigo." Her leader finally told her gently. "You're not going to offline."

A lump formed in her vocal processor. "That's a lie, and you know it." Her voice cracked. "I'm going to offline whether I like it or not. And I don't like it one bit- _ugh_!" The torment was unreal. "Optimus... I'm sorry." She began, trying to ignore the pain. "I just want you to know that-... that I-" A scream ripped through her mind and throat as the femme felt something pierce her abdominal armor. Ravage had attached himself to her head, ripping off her two-way relay transmitters. She looked down, watching as her internal lubricants mixed with the water. Her mouth opened, but no sound came. She felt faint, watching a blade retract from impaling her body. Vertigo slipped, falling slowly into the abyss below, seeing the decepticons retreating with their newly risen leader.

Battered and torn, the femme slid ever closer to the bottom of the ocean, vision fading in and out. Oil, blood, light, energon, and coolant swirled in the water and she began to wonder how Captain Melbourne had faired and where in the freezing water he had begun his descent. And then, there was nothing. No pain. No fear. No joy. Only nothing.

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**I feel as if part of me has died while I was writing this chapter. It is **_**NOT**_** I repeat **_**NOT**_** the last chapter of this story. So please keep on reading. And if you have anything to tell me. Any comments or questions. Please review because I hated writing this chapter. ='(**


	21. Aftermath

**Attention: Due to coarse and suggestive language and thoughts, scenes containing mild adult content, and disturbing imagery, this chapter is not suitable for those under 17 years of age. Reader discretion is advised.**

**So yeah... it's not really that bad, but it will contain some adult themes. If you're uncomfortable with it, you don't have to read it. But, like I said, it is only minor in most parts... like a PG-16 movie that's not quite rated R but it's a little more intense than a PG-13.... yeah.... Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed! Your support is all that keeps me going!... that and this won't get out of my head....**

* * *

He strolled casually forward, seeming as if he had no direction or purpose. His crimson optics flitted to the side every now and then, glancing at the blue pods that coated the ceiling in a myriad labyrinth. He cataloged the contents suspended inside of each one, though frowning as if this had become a commonplace thing to do. He turned, heading down a different direction. His pace quickened ever so slightly, but he hadn't noticed. And abruptly he stopped, peering into one of the small blue sacks that hung down from the rafters.

A small creature was curled up inside. A small, puny, spindly, tiny creature. So why was he so enthralled with it? The answer was simple. Everything about this delicate sparkling, armor, facial structure, recharging habits, reminded him of her. Or rather, everything except for it's optics. It's bright, gleaming, scarlet optics. Hers had been blue.

Gently, he raising his hand, careful not to crush the fragile membrane that kept it suspended in the life giving fluid. It opened an optic slightly to peer out at him, but closed it quickly. It was safe, protected from the elements, the wrath of the decepticons, and himself. He didn't mind though. It would be able to explore the world soon enough.

A smile nearly lit his lip plates, wondering who this sparkling would grow up to be. If it would one day be like her. His face darkened. It would not become like that traitorous glitch, that he assured himself. No, this sparkling would be much more malleable. Its processor wouldn't be able to handle such complex thoughts that had caused her to leave. No, this sparkling was not special like she had been. It was part of a hive mind, a mass produced army. But that suited him more. He had only deluded himself into thinking that perhaps he would enjoy a femme who could choose for herself rather than a whore. Either way was fine for him.

He caressed the casing, she would be back. She would return to him whether she wanted to or not. He looked thoughtful for a moment, contemplating whether she would plead on her knees or not.

And that's when it hit him; a sharp wave of pain coursed through his spark. The decepticon cried out in agony, body doubling over with the raw torment. His servos went rigid, Optics widening. He had never experienced a pain like this in his entire life. His jaw clenched.

_Virigo_.

Starscream groaned, lifting himself off of the medical berth. His body ached, rolling his shoulders he looked around. The Fallen had his back to him, standing over a glass case.

"And you had me do that why?" The seeker asked crossly.

The ancient being never averted his gaze from the container. "My greatest creation needed a strong spark. Cultivating one would have taken several eons... time that we do not have." The mech paused dramatically. "You should be honored your spark was chosen for this." He stated finally.

Walking over to the larger cybertronian, Starscream frowned, trying to see what his elder saw. "I went through that pain for that thing?" He asked.

"Sparkling, Starscream." The Fallen corrected.

The seeker rolled his optics, peering into the case at the tiny creature inside. It looked up at him, large optics blinking widely. He grimaced, disgusted. "There's something wrong with it. It has the optics of an enemy." He stated darkly.

"So she does..." Said the Fallen thoughtfully.

It's bright blue gaze locked with his own, portraying a pure sincerity that the decepticon had not seen in eons. It looked up at him curiously. Then with a smile, it rose to its spindly wire legs. It stepped forward boldly, only to fall on its unstable servos. "Look at it... it can't even stand on its own two legs." he sneered.

"_She_, Starscream." He corrected patiently.

The seeker grimaced dramatically, gesturing toward the small sparkling. "How can you tell? If I didn't know any better I would have called it a mech. You seriously expect that this... this... _thing_ is going to spark an entire new breed?" He asked skeptically.

"_She_ is still young. There is still time for her to grow. You shall see then." His deep voice drifted through the air. The ancient cybertronian watched the sparkling almost affectionately.

She smiled up at Starscream, cocking her small head to the side. He narrowed his visor plates, but the sparkling continued to gaze up at him, unphased. She struggled to her feet, only to fall back on her aft again. The small femme frowned, opening her mouth and glaring down at the floor of her container. A series of unintelligible clicks issued from her as she seemed to scold gravity itself. Revulsion accompanied his next discovery. "You gave it _teeth_?"

"_Her_, Starscream. Of course I gave _her_ teeth." The Fallen chastised. "She will need to be able to take in and process raw materials if she is to grow properly."

The sparkling had somehow managed to find her way over to one of the emitters still lodged in the side of her incubator. She opened her mouth, smiling as she grabbed it in both hands and bit down on the much larger surface. "It's driveling all over your cybernetic pulse distributor!"

"So she is..." He stated simply.

He wanted to turn away, but found his optics unable to focus on anything else except for the sparkling. It was so small, and he doubted that it was even a femme. How could this thing seriously be the mother of an entire new breed of decepticons?

The small sparkling bounced happily up and down on his shoulder, holding on to his wing. She clicked and laughed, obviously amused by being thirty or so feet up in the air. Starscream, however, was no where near as joyful with his predicament. The tiny femme would not leave him alone. It was downright annoying. When he had discovered this installment, The Fallen had been rather entertained with the idea. But, when he had tried to pry her off of the seeker, she had wailed and squirmed until, finally, they had given up.

"You are quite a nuisance. You do realize this don't you?" The mech told her agitatedly. "And if you were not The Fallen's most treasured experiment, I would kill you."

The sparkling, whom the ancient decepticon had deemed Virigo, just looked at him with her large bright blue optics. She did not stop smiling. She did not heed his threats. Instead when he began to speak again, she proceeded to stick her tiny little hand into his mouth, trying to pry it open and explore. The seeker, repulsed by her actions, had to resist the urge to bite down and sever her hand from her scrawny arm. He picked her up by the edge of her back armor and held her as far away from his face as he could.

Her face did not portray any emotions besides curiosity and eager happiness. His crimson optics locked with her cobalt ones, contesting for dominance. She did not blink, only returning his stare.

"You are a disgusting little creature." He told her after a few moments of this. "I hope that you die during training."

Virigo's face fell, sadness consuming her optics. A small whimper escaped her vocal processor. She was not afraid, only upset that she was thought so ill of and that she had upset him.

"Do _not_ stare at me like that, creature! Don't give me that look!" His optics narrowed, though he had begun to soften up. "I will not cave to your desires!"

The femme trilled sadly, hands stretching towards the seeker's face. Starscream frowned, unswayed. Then with a disgruntled sigh, placed her back on his shoulder where she perched happily. The sparkling quickly moved up onto his head, sitting down, legs wrapped around his neck. Her fingers found the edge of his mouth, holding onto him for safety. The seeker raised his null ray, tempted to deactivate her, but finally lowered it, rolling his optics.

Suddenly he was sitting in his quarters, reading a datapad. Virigo sat at his feet, tapping on his leg armor. He was doing a fairly good job of ignoring her, though there was something that kept nagging at the back of his mind. Something that Skywarp had said earlier to him. Those words still rang in his audio receptors, refusing to be shot down. It was because they were true.

"Have fun spark-sitting, nurse Screamer!" His wing mate had jibed, only to earn a dark look from Starscream.

"The Fallen gave me this task himself. It is an honorable duty to guard his most prized possession." He had shot back, hands balling into a tight fist at his side.

"I don't know, you seem to spend more time with that _thing_ than us. I think you're beginning to actually prefer its company over ours, wouldn't you say, TC?" Skywarp asked the blue seeker beside him.

"I have no comment on the matter." Replied Thundercracker, obviously not wishing to get caught between anything ugly that might happen.

"I'm surprised that you can actually think, Skywarp. I thought that it was beyond your functioning capabilities." Starscream retorted heatedly. Then after a moment, he spoke again. This time, coolly. "I do not enjoy my task. Believe me when I say that I would much rather be fighting than watching over that creature."

A loud crash jolted him from his thoughts. He looked up to see shelves and a variety of his possessions in a jumbled heap on the floor, a frantic screech was coming from somewhere inside of it. He stood up, throwing the datapad at the pile, knocking loose the top few items. A small hand emerged from the mound, followed by a head and eventually a body squirmed out after it.

The seeker's optics narrowed dangerously, turning around before he had the chance to execute the entertaining notion of blasting the sparkling off of the face of the planet. With frustrated and enraged strides, he began to walk towards the door. This would be the last time that he would be mocked because of this creature. Let someone else deal with this sort of scrap because he wasn't going to anymore. A piercing wail followed him, desperation clouding it. He could feel her stare boring into the armor protecting his back.

Then suddenly as he was about to step over the threshold, something stopped him. That something was a small, clear voice calling out to him. "Starscream." Startled, he turned to face her. She had never spoken before. "Starscream." She again stated, though it was not with her vocal processor that she spoke. Rather, it was her internal communications relay, a form of communion that was much more advanced than speech. When he didn't answer her, she proceeded to inquire. "Where are you going?"

After the initial shock of her broadcast had faded into the background, he finally ventured a reply. "That is none of your business."

Virigo looked hurt, though still curious. Her cerulean optics watched him for a moment. "Take me with you?" She asked softly.

With a frown, he tore his gaze away from her own, "No. Stay here… I'll be back soon." He left, disturbed and uncertain about his newest discovery. He wasn't sure whether he should have hated her or not, nor did he know the answer to if he really did.

"Hey, Starscream." She said, staring straight ahead from her perch on the back of Megatron's throne. The seeker had passed by, preparing for a practice run with his wing mates.

"Yes?" He stopped, annoyed, turning to look at the femme who was now a little over half of his height.

"What is love?" Virigo asked suddenly.

He raised a visor plate, how could a femme not know what love was? Then again, she was a sparkling, not even a quarter of a vorn old. In that it was understandable. "Why do you ask?"

She was silent for a moment then as she spoke, it was slowly and thoughtfully. "My master said that the reason the autobots are weak is because that they are love-happy idiots… I know what happy means, but I have never heard the word 'love' before. But, Master refuses to explain it to me. Is it another form of impure energy in which they become intoxicated?"

Starscream's jaw hung slack for a few moments, trying to digest what he had just heard. Of course love was not something that was spoke of frequently at the base. But, certainly she must have at least heard the word once. He shrugged it off, trying to think of how to explain the concept of love to a sparkling. "Love… Love is an emotion that the autobots and the decepticons have two extremely different views of. However, both factions do love… only they love different things. Autobots love peace and fleshbags. Decepticons love power."

The femme frowned. "But what emotion is love? I've never heard of it."

He sighed, "Love is what makes you most happy. In my case, I happen to love the respect."

She nodded slowly, as if considering what she had just heard. "So love is what makes you most happy…" Virigo murmured softly. And then she smiled, blue optics closing, and stated, "I love you, Starscream."

For a moment, it was as if time had ceased to flow, pooling around the mech's central processor. His spark skipped a few pulses, optics widening. It was as if he were paralyzed. Never in his many eons of life had he ever heard those words spoken to him before. Finally, he looked up at her smiling face. This was not some sort of twisted and sick joke.

She got up, wrapping her arms around his midsection in a hug. She was warm. Tentatively, he placed a hand on her head, unsure of what to do. Her words still echoed in his processors. "I love you, Starscream."

Pain extricated him from his mind. His spark was throbbing horribly. "I love you, Starscream." He had never experienced anything quite like this, not even when his creators had been destroyed… not that he could remember it very well. She was gone. He inhaled a few shakey breaths, trying to cool his inflamed circuits. Then, after what seemed like forever, the pain began to recede. His thoughts steadily gained clarity. It was then that he noted that he was doubled over, servos tensed and aching with a raw torment that he had never known. His optics blinked open, facing the ground. Slowly, he looked up, noticing that his hand was contracted into a fist, blue liquid oozing over its armored exterior. Inside of his fist rested something warm.

His gaze widened, unclenching his servos. Metal contorted at odd angles, fragile wires crushed, the distorted and mangled frame of the sparkling hung limp on his fingers. He resisted the urge to purge his energon reserves as he stared at it, mortified with himself. Starscream nudged it carefully, confirming its demise. His face contorted from horror to absolute rage as flung the small body as far from himself as possible. This wasn't his fault; the sparkling should have been stronger… should have been built with sturdier materials. It wasn't his fault, it was her own. He shook his hand, trying to remove the goo oozing off of his digits.

Unsteadily he made his way to his quarters, stopping to look at Megatron's throne as he passed it. She smiled, tall, proud, but unimaginably thin. It was as if she were a rail, long legs on which she was still unsteady. "Master said that one day, I'll be the mother of an entire new army! How cool is that!?"

The seeker rolled his eyes, getting up from the throne that he had been sitting on. "I'm not entirely sold on the idea." He admitted. "I'm not sure that you could handle it."

"I could totally handle that! I would just have to find the right mate to spark with." Retorted the femme, a little insulted.

"Why don't you go to your quarters and leave me alone?" Starscream moved away from her, pausing to wait for her reaction.

"Why do you still treat me like a sparkling!?" Virigo was exasperated.

"Because you _are_ a sparkling," He told her, "Stupid femech."

She pushed him, looking up at him with wide optics. "HEY!" The femme whined, "I'm not a femech and I'm not stupid!"

The seeker smirked, amused that he could work her into such a fit with only a few simple words.

He watched as Virigo ingested another piece of metal. She was still growing, and therefore still needed to take in raw materials. The Fallen stood beside him watching with a sort of amusement at the scene before him. Starscream watched with disgust, the femme had no idea.

She raised a visor plate, looking up at the two of them, as innocent as ever. "Did you give Breakneck a good burial? He deserved at least that. I never wanted to kill him."

The Ancient smiled, "That is one way to put it."

She gazed down at the chunk of metal that she held in her hand. "That's good…" She said wistfully, then raised it to her mouth and swallowed it. "Cybertonium? I thought that there wasn't any more."

"There wasn't." The Fallen replied.

"Then how…?" The young femme trailed off, obviously puzzled by his response.

"We salvaged it from Breakneck."

Starscream grimaced, watching as the femmes optics widened considerably in horror. She stared at the rest of the metal that had been set for her to process, for a few moments before quickly moving to the side and purging her energon reserves. He headed over to her side, doing his best to soothe the youngling. She was trembling and he knelt down beside her, placing a hand on her back. "Virigo," He began. "This is what must be done if you are to grow. It may not be your first choice, but it is your only choice."

"B- But Breakneck… you can't just do that to his corpse!" She blurted out.

"It has already been done. We do what we must to survive."

He staggered into his quarters, numb, sitting down on his recharge berth. The mech ran a hand over the smooth surface. This berth was where it had all started...

She lay there languidly, relaxed, reading a datapad. Legs propped up against the wall, exposing more than a little of her protoform. She was utterly at peace, comfortable, not expectant of anything.

He sat in his chair, hands gripping the armrest tightly. His spark pulsing rapidly as he stared at her form. He didn't understand, didn't she realize how provocative her position was? Lip plates parted slightly as she scrolled down the page, abdomen curled around ever so nicely, scant armor, legs up against the wall... all on _his_ recharge berth. He couldn't stand it. And then finally, he didn't.

With a minimal amount of hesitation, he strode over to her, hand closing around the datapad, pulling it out of her grasp. She looked up, startled but still relaxed. "What's wrong, Star?" Virigo asked, concern filling her bright blue optics. He tossed it over his shoulder lightly. "I was reading that, yo-" Her sentence was silenced as his lip plates crashed against hers.

Her body tensed up against his as he swung his leg over to straddle her. She responded to the kiss, pressing her hands against his shoulders, unsure. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Slowly, he laid her onto her back, claws trailing her armor plated surfaces. His lip plates left hers after a few moments, moving down to kiss her neck. His fingers slipped under the armor of her hips, caressing her delicate wiring.

The startled femme gasped, air intakes working furiously to try to cool her now overheating circuits. "St-Starscream, What a-are you doing?" She asked in between breaths. A light yelp halfway between a grunt and a moan escaped her vocal processor as his claw-like fingers groped a particularly sensitive area. "P-please st-stop." Her voice cracked.

The mech paused a moment in his work to murmur into her neck, "I'm showing you my affection, and treating you to an experience most femmes would kill for. His hand glided over her thigh plate. "Relax, I know what I'm doing."

"Please, j-just stop." She complained, nervous.

Annoyance tinged the seeker's vocals when he finally spoke again. "You don't want me to give my love to you?"

"-No, I-I do." Virigo replied quickly, body squirming in discomfort.

"Stop moving so much, then." Starscream chided softly, massaging her tender circuits. "I promise this won't hurt."

"But what if he finds out!?" She asked fear unmasked. Though he would have much rather continued to explore every facet of her body, his hand left her hips abruptly and clasped her hand firmly.

"He won't." He reassured her darkly. When she didn't respond, he began to work her body again. His hand slipped under her shoulder plate, detaching it from her body. Lip plates pressed against her neck, nipping lightly at her protoform. She trembled uncomfortably, as if trying to resist the urge to throw him off of her.

"Would you stop squirming?" He commented, annoyed.

Virigo let out a small whimper. "But what if he finds out? I don't want-"

He cut her off, "He wont." The mech replied firmly. She settled down a small bit, but barely enough to notice. "Just relax, I promise I'll be gentle." Starscream murmured into her audio receptors, he felt a chill ripple through her servos. His hand traveled southward again, pulling off a few redundant pieces of armor here and there, resting once again at her hip. He pulled at her groin plating, removing it and tossing it to the side just as he had with the others. She was trembling under him, biting back the urge to complain. The mech smiled to himself at this, knowing very well that she would submit to him. His talon traced the rim of her dataport, causing her to convulse violently, letting out a high squeak of terror. He let out a growl, tensing, stopping himself from going any further for a few moments. He needed to calm down before he made the mistake of letting his bestial desires overwhelm him. The mech inhaled, trying to cool his overheating systems, but only succeeded in breathing in her fearful scent. He needed to get a hold on himself before he became rough with her. That could wait until she had become comfortable with the thought of interfacing. For now though, he would need to be gentle with her. She was still young, and with the sudden advances The Fallen had begun to make, whatever he did not consider carefully could send her over the edge. He exhaled, releasing his pent up frustration. If The Fallen had left well enough alone, he would have been able to work much more smoothly. Of course she might still have been terrified, but she would have been much more welcome to the idea. Starscream pressed his lip plates against hers, trying to assuage her discomfort.

His other hand moved upwards, sliding under her chest plating, caressing her fragile wiring. She gasped, and he removed her various armor plates from that region. "II-I'm afr-fraid..." Virigo admitted, squirming, voice high and nervous. He could feel the outer casing of her spark, feel the vibration of its rapid pulsing, the heat that it was sending out. In turn, he felt the rhythm of his own spark begin to quicken, the painful tug that spurred him forward. The seeker's hands left her body, sliding much of his own armor off of himself. His anticipation only heightened his eagerness as he returned to her. She was quaking with unadulterated fear, optics shut tightly. For a moment, he felt sympathy for her. But it quickly dissipated when a slight groan emitted from her vocal processor.

His body crashed against her own, and a quiet pained cry echoed from under him. "Hush," Starscream told her softly. "It will all be fine."

She bit her bottom lip plate, hands reaching up and gripping the edge of his wings tentatively. He smirked, rubbing the derma-plating of her waist. This had been much easier than he had expected... not that he had ever imagined interfacing with a femme who was both the most prized possession of The Fallen, and nearly one hundred thousand vorns younger than he was. The mech smiled to himself, kissing her slowly, passionately. His hands grasped her hips, parting her legs. Virigo let out a choked sob, forcefully pushing him off of her.

"I'm sorry." She said in between gasps. "I'm sorry. I- I just... can't do it." The femme buried her face in her hands, sitting up. "I can't do it. I just c-can't." Her distraught voice was muffled, and she curled up hiding her exposed form.

Starscream frowned, this would be harder than he'd anticipated. It seemed that perhaps he would have to be forceful with her... But, not now. Not today. She had experienced enough new sensations for the time being. He got up, wrapping an arm around her, not saying anything. The mech was angry, of course, frustrated, and slow in recovering from his desire mere nanoklicks ago, but he would do more harm.

The seeker had had femmes reject him before, but they had been neutrals in the war. Femmes that he had claimed by force. Femmes that had been significantly weaker than him. Femmes that were not Virigo. Her fear had been intoxicating, but he would remove that from her soon. She would be putty in his talons before long... or so he thought.

It had only progressed from there.

Starscream stared at the berth that he was sitting on, he could see a few scorch marks. He remembered her first overload, how wonderfully her innocence had been stripped from her spark. And then he remember each overload after that, tracing the scorch marks on his berth. He had been addicted to her.

A fresh wave of pain consumed his spark, a groan of pain escaped his vocal processor. He didn't understand why this was affecting him. Why would her death affect him like this? They had not been spark mates. They had never successfully sparked together... unless...

The pain had become almost unbearable, it felt as if his spark were about to split. But, he enjoyed it, listening to the reluctant moaning of Virigo under him, her body struggling in vain against his superior strength and weight. His kissed her collar, working his way to her wingtips and then back. The light from her spark was nearly blinding, beautiful, white. There was no hue to it as there was to most sparks. It was pure, simple, elegant, white. It was so tantalizingly close. His lip plates met her own in a rough kiss, one hand releasing her wrist to move down to her aft. She squirmed, terrified. He pushed himself deeper within her, her yelp muffled by his lustful mouth. His spark called out to hers, and the seeker lowered himself more onto the femme, allowing his very essence to attract hers. Sparks shot between the two glowing orbs for endless moments before they merged. Starscream let out a low moan, ecstasy claiming every circuit and diode of his being. Virigo went limp under him, paralyzed with fear. In his many, many vorns of existence, the seeker had never known anything quite like this. It was indescribable.

It ended much too soon, with two raps on his quarter's door and the sound of it hissing open. "Just thought that I'd warn yo-" Thundercracker's voice ended abruptly with shock.

"I'm a little busy." His superior grunted, annoyed. His spark was returning to normal, bonding nowhere near completed.

"Uh... yeah..." He muttered, leaving. Virigo watched him go, fear clouding her optics. A small squeak escaped her vocal processor as she overloaded, body becoming much too weak to struggle against Starscream any longer. His grip around her tightened as his body tensed, overheated, and then overloaded into her. She let out a pitiful wail, spasm running through her servos. He lifted himself off of her, stretching and then sat on the recharge berth. The femme curled into a ball, abdomen heaving with her sobs.

The seeker regarded her with a mixture of pleasure and pity, running his hand along her back in an effort to calm her. Her cobalt optics were wide, staring out into nothing. His hand rubbed her back, patiently waiting for her to slip into a fretful stasis. "Recharge, Virigo." He murmured softly. "You'll feel better then."

After what seemed like an eternity, her sobs subsided and her optics closed. He watched her, never ceasing in rubbing her back plating soothingly. Starscream looked at her with regret. Regret for hurting her, for forcing her into this. Regret that she did not have a say in any of this. He felt guilty for putting her through this. But, he wasn't about to stop.

He had been through many femmes, many skilled whores. None of them had ever brought him this sort of depth in pleasure. It reminded him of something that Thundercracker had once told him after he had inquired as to why the indigo seeker had never taken an interest in the Kaon pleasure houses. His blue wing mate had just shrugged, telling him that he just didn't enjoy handing his spark out to some strange femme who had already been with seven other mechs in that same day. At first, Starscream had felt sympathy for him... But now... now he was beginning to understand. Virigo was different, he almost hated himself for doing what he did to her. He had never meant to cause her any emotional distress, any emotional pain. It didn't matter though, it was what he wanted. And if she loved him as she said that she did, she must not have minded too much.

Starscream reclined on his berth, resting his head in his hands. He couldn't believe that she was actually gone. She had survived so much... endured so much pain... he had almost thought her to be invincible. He heaved a heavy sigh.

The seeker was no longer angry, just frustrated, tired, and somewhat depressed. She had left him. Left him without any warning, without any good byes. He had just onlined one morning and she was gone. He had not known where she had gone. He had not known that she had left him there for the last time.

Virigo had belonged to him. But that didn't matter... not now anyways. Not now that she had been offlined.

He closed his optics. One day, he would see her again.

A loud booming voice interrupted his thoughts. Starscream had not even realized that he had slipped into an uneasy stasis. But, that voice... that voice filled him with a sinking feeling that only intensified his frustration with the world. "Starscream, I'm home!"

_Frag._

* * *

** I hope that you liked this chapter. :) I'm surprised that I actually finished this... It was so long, y'know? Please review, because I was really hesitant in posting this chapter because of the whole rated M thing. But, hey, that's life right? So, yeah, thank you to all of you who reviewed and favorited the last chapter.  
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	22. Vengeance

"Virigo, get out of there. Return to base. _Now._" The Prime reactivated their wavelength. If the decepticons were there, it could only mean one thing. He would not lose her to this.

"I'm on my way." She told him, though from her body's readings, her thrusters had not yet been activated. "Slag, this is not good." The femme murmured.

The pulse of his spark quickened, he needed her at base. She would be safe there. Optimus waited barely a nanoklick for her to transform... but it never happened. Instead, something collided with her back, causing her systems to go into red alert. The mech tensed, vocal processor too stunned to work. This couldn't be happening... only it was. Several of her armor plates were dislodged, sending Vertigo's central processor into a frantic scramble to recover any lost ground.

"Frag!" He heard her gasp, the intruder finally left her body. Her primary weapons system engaged, but not before something heavy hit her side, severely damaging her outer protective plating. "There's too many!"

"Virigo! Retreat!" Optimus' voice strained as he heard her cry out in pain, getting hit in the leg and then the shoulder. His hands curled into fists, a sense of urgentness consuming his thoughts.

"What in the Pit do you think I'm trying to do!" Her thrusters activated and she shot at an enemy that he could not picture on her offlined radar. Several more blasts hit her, first in the abdomen, then her arm, and finally her shoulder. Her systems were screaming, trying to begin repairs on one of the wounds only to stop and try the process over on another. An eerie calm settled over her thoughts, acceptance. His spark sank with her next, hopeless words. "_I'm not getting out of here alive._" Prime grimaced, wanting to stop her words, but couldn't. "I'll bring as many of them as I can with me to the Matrix."

He searched for the words to comfort her, but could only manage, "You will make it out of there, Virigo. Fall Back!" He had to believe his own words. If he didn't believe himself, then who would? She would make it out of this, she had to. Several blasts hit her exposed back.

She groaned in agony, he could nearly feel her pain as she retaliated. "I'm trying!" Hundreds of smaller bullets pierced her armor. Her vital systems became inflamed as they were hit. "Tell Sideswipe that I'm sorry! And that I forgive him for everything! And that I never meant to hurt him!" Vertigo gasped, something clamped around her leg.

The autobot leader wanted nothing more than to take her place. For her to be safe at the NEST base in New Jersey, and for himself to be fighting a losing battle. "Let go of me you glitch!" He heard her curse at whatever had grabbed her. Something else closed around her arm, her servos threatened to tear apart. Her secondary weapons system engaged, but there was little use.

"Virigo, hang in there!" He told her... he couldn't give up. She had to survive.

The pressure around her arm ceased, but her joints were strained terribly. Her defense matrix was going haywire. "It's alright." She told him softly. Their roles had been reversed, she was now comforting him. Optimus was far from soothed by her next sentence. "I'd rather die in battle than any other way." He knew that it was just a facade. Everything was far from alright. What he wouldn't have given to have had her safe back at base. A crippling blow collapsed her chest plating, wounding her laser core chamber. Then, finally she choked out a sob that broke the mech's spark. "Primus help me! I don't want to die!"

He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. But, what could he do? She was thousands of miles away... he could do nothing. _Primus, protect her._ He sent up a silent prayer to his creator. "... I'm here, Virigo." Optimus told her gently. "You're not going to offline."

He could hear the strain in her voice as it crackled over the link. "That's a lie, and you know it." She said, filled with despair. "I'm going to offline whether I like it or not. And I don't like it one bit- _ugh!_" That small cry of pain disturbed him greatly, her strained shoulder joint had been hit again. The Prime wanted to reach out to her, but couldn't. "Optimus... I'm sorry." She began, voice filled with dismal resignation and struggling defeat. "I just want you to know that-... that I-" Until then, the mech had never heard her scream before. Not, when she had fought Payload. Not when she had fought Demolishor. The mere sound of it sent a shiver down his backbone infrastructure, shattering his spark into a thousand different pieces. Something had sliced all the way through her midsection, impaling most of her vital systems, including life support.

The transmission ended abruptly and he desperately sought to reconnect it, "_Virigo!_" His internal relay searched for her signal... But, there was nothing. She was gone.

The Prime stared out numbly before him, trying to process what had just happened. "Ratchet!" He quickly commed his medical officer.

"What is it, Prime?" Came his brusque reply.

"Virigo's connection was lost." His leader briefed him, sending all of what had been transmitted between the two. Though it was unspoken, a question accompanied the scans. _Will she be alright?_

Silence ensued as the medic observed the scans that the femmes body had taken all throughout the battle. "... She's dead, Prime.... I'm sorry." Ratchet's voice was gentle, not knowing exactly what he should say. He transmitted a sense of sorrow and comfort to his stoic leader.

Though he did not normally question the medic's judgment, Optimus found himself needing to ask. "Are you sure?"

When he answered, he was solemn. "Without immediate medical attention, she has about a half of an hour at best to live. There is nothing that I could do... at least not from here. And then if I were to even attempt something, it would take twenty hours that we don't have to actually reach her. That does not include the time that it would take to even begin trying to repair her." Stated the medic.

Optimus cycled his vents, it was all that he could do. It seemed that their darkest hour was soon in coming. The Allspark had been destroyed, the humans were questioning the autobots position on Earth, Sam refused to help, Megatron was alive once more, and Virigo.... Virigo was dead. Her last words to him still echoed in his audio receptors. "I just want you to know that-... that I-" That piercing scream that shook the very foundation of his core, haunting his processors.

He shuttered his optics for a long moment, reopening them to gaze at his surroundings. A graveyard, how fitting. The Prime gazed at each of the headstones in turn. _Madeline Rose Pillmeier November 6, 1993-June 19, 2009._ Another female cut down before she truly had the chance to shine. Slowly he shook his head, he hadn't felt anything like this... not since the Great War had begun. With a heavy spark, he ended the transmission, "I'm heading back to base."

The mech made his way carefully to the small road running through the cemetery. His servos contracted, armor shifting until he had become the spitting image of a large diesel semi. He began to drive out, lawfully abiding the speed limits. His thoughts were distracted, he did not want to go to the base... that was the last place that Optimus wanted to be at the moment. He didn't want to have to tell his troops that Vertigo was dead. He didn't want to have to tell Sideswipe....

He had often turned a blind optic to the young mech's fancy, or entertained the notion that Vertigo would be softened towards his pursuit. This would be difficult for the warrior to deal with. A difficulty only compounded by the fact that Sunstreaker was still missing. Optimus wasn't sure how he would take it. Perhaps Primus himself had turned against them.

The trip back to NEST outpost USNJ-Sigma was one that was both too long and too short for the Prime. He didn't want to have to announce the despairing news. To have to continue the battle. But, it was what must be done. He entered the small hangar unchallenged, mentally preparing himself for what he needed to say. But, first, he needed to speak with Sideswipe. The silver mech was located in the back most corner, conversing with Jolt, while Ratchet stood nearby, ready to intervene if tensions were to raise.

Prime transformed, walking over to them. "Sideswipe." He began.

He looked up, startled, then pointed to the blue youngling beside him. "It was all Jolt's fault! I swear!"

"Hey! It was your idea, afthole!" Jolt punched his shoulder.

Sideswipe's optics turned to his friend's, as if to silence him. "No! I told you we shouldn't have put that fro-"

Their leader frowned, serious, cutting them both off. "What I need to tell you does not concern whatever mischief you have just confessed to." The grimness in his voice was enough to silence the both of them, and they stared up at him expectantly. Thinking of how he could word what he was about to say gently, he began, "Virigo said that she is sorry, Sideswipe." The young mech raised a visor plate, but did not interrupt. "She also said that she has forgiven you."

With that he smiled. "I knew she'd come around." There was a sort of mischievous twinkle in his cobalt optics, a twinkle that matched his small smirk. "When's she getting back?" He was oblivious to the atmosphere of sorrow that had begun to descend over the small group. Jolt eyed him warily, seeming to want to ask why Vertigo had changed her decisions so suddenly.

Optimus' jaw clenched conspicuously, he didn't trust his vocal processor to speak. He wanted to lie to him, to tell her that she would be back soon, that she was busy refueling in Japan, that she would come home. But, lying would only have been a temporary fix. Sideswipe would have found out sooner or later, he would have figured it out. Prime spoke without wavering, just as he knew must do. "She's not going to be back, Sideswipe." Ratchet caught his gaze and held it for a moment, grief and understanding plastered on his wizened face.

They silver mech's brow furrowed, optics losing the joyful tinge that they had held just seconds before. His lip plates turned into a frown, and when he spoke, his voice was dark. "What do you mean 'she's not going to be back'?" The Prime noticed that his blades had begun to unsheathe themselves.

He sighed, resigned. There was no way to cushion what he was about to say. "She's dead."

Sideswipe cycled his vents very loudly, tensing, optics regarding him with fear, mistrust, and disbelief. "You're lying!" He retorted, hands balling into fists at his side, blades fully extended. Jolt stared at his friend, unsure of what else to do.

Optimus did not argue with him, only watching him in silent grief. And, then he spoke calmly, "I only wish that I were, Sideswipe." He said softly, reaching out to place a hand on the younger cybertronian's shoulder. The latter shirked away from his touch, face twisted into a scowl.

"There's no way in the pit that she's dead!" The glared at him, then tried to comme the femme. "Vertigo? Vertigo! C'mon, answer me, slag it!" When no response came, he returned his gaze to his leader. "She never answers me," rationalized Sideswipe.

"Sides-" Began Jolt, only to be interrupted.

"You're in on it too!? What is with you all!? Are you trying to get back on me for all those years of pranks? Because this isn't funny!"

Ratchet caught the mech around the shoulders, "Sideswipe. It's true, I verified the scans myself."

Sideswipe pushed him away, "No! She's _not _dead!" With that, the silver warrior stormed off, digging his blades into the side of the building leaving a long gash in his wake.

Jolt looked hesitantly at the two older mech's in his presence. "Is she really gone?" He asked softly. Optimus nodded slowly, sighing heavily. "Will he be okay?" The blue youngling looked at them hopefully.

But, neither his leader nor his teacher could be certain. "That is something that only he can decide. With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes the ability to handle each situation with equanimity.... Sideswipe is still young, and this will be difficult for him to recover from." Prime stated thoughtfully. Jolt nodded forlornly, then went to go try to comfort his friend.

Ratchet gazed at the red and blue mech before him. He seemed defeated, somehow, and yet, still powerful and distinguished and ready to face what was to come. "You know what she had been about to say." The old medic said.

Optimus nodded. "Yes... I do."

His oldest companion patted him on the back, comfortingly before leaving him in silence. He felt lost. Vertigo had really begun to blend in with the autobots, she had genuinely become one. She had progressed so much from the scared, timid, battered femme that had come to him expecting to be terminated on the spot. Vengeance was such a tempting thought. Vengeance on those who had made her that way, and those that had ended her life. Prime shook his head, he must not let his emotions cloud his judgment.

* * *

** If it was even possible, I think that I had more trouble writing this chapter than I had with writing chapter twenty. I cried several times during this one. This was for you, Pillsbury! I miss you and Je t'aime! You were one of the two who got me interested in transformers and the reason that I came to know Optimus Prime. RIP, chika.**


	23. Imagining

Pain, utter and absolute torment coursed through every inch of her body, hindering her functions. A low moan of agony reached her audio receptors. Had that come from her? Unimaginable fire seared through her servos. When had this pain begun? That was a question that she could not answer. It felt as if it had begun centuries ago, waking her from a numbing dream of darkness.... But, had it truly been so long? Surely she wasn't even that old.

She tried to lift her arm only to find that it was much heavier than she had expected, and her joints were much more damaged than she cared to know. She winced, optics finally opening on dismal surroundings. Everything was a deep shade of midnight, a faint, dim light filtered in from somewhere above her.... Where was she? She couldn't remember. With a little more force, she coaxed her and to her throbbing head.

"Frag." A raspy, feminine voice said. Startled, she looked around, a fresh wave of pain claimed her. "Ugh." Was that her voice?

The pain brought with it a despairing clarity. She was a sparkling, but where was her guardian, her protector. Where was Starscream? She winced again at the thought of that name. Why did it bring up such thoughts of dread? And then it hit her like a blow directly to the spark. Memories upon memories flooded back. She was not a sparkling. She was not a decepticon.

With a tremendous effort, she brought her hand to her chest, feeling the deep wounds that marred the once sleek surface. Her hand then travelled to her abdomen, fingers tracing the hole that ran through her body. A spasm ran through her body, she should have been dead. It was a chilling and sobering thought. The time was 0400 hours, the date was only the next day from when she had received these wounds... so it had been nineteen hours and eight minutes that she had gone into a stasis lock. Eighteen hours and thirty eight minutes since her systems should have offlined. But, they hadn't.... They were in exactly the same condition that they had been in, her auto repair systems had not even begun to make a difference in its efforts to heal her. So why was she still alive?

She sat up, thankful that the tremendous pressure of the water surrounding her was keeping her strained body in one piece. The pain was surreal... but she could deal with it. It was worse than any time that she had experienced. That did not stop her from ignoring it, one thing that she had learned from her training.

Vertigo groaned, not so much out of the physical agony that she was in, but rather from the mental torment that faced her processors. They all thought she was dead.... How had they reacted? Were they alright? Certainly they had to be. She was not that important. But... now, her leader knew. Optimus knew the fleeting feelings that had stirred when she recharged, the sensation that she had had to suppress whenever she saw him. He knew everything....

The femme cursed herself, how had she been so brash as to tell him that? _Because you thought that you were going to die. _Her mind reminded her. She shook her head. Fortunately she had never completed her sentence.... Perhaps she would be able to make up a story....

She got to her feat, servos screaming with the raw torture of standing. Hopefully she would be able to transform. But, first, she would need to repair herself.

Vertigo looked around, ignoring a fresh wave of agony that racked her body. The remains of two fallen decepticons came up in her view. One she had personally offlined, the other had been killed by his fellow comrades. She grimaced in disgust, thankful that she had left that all behind. That she didn't have to kill any more of her own faction. That she didn't have to worry about being stabbed in the back. The femme regarded them wistfully, she knew their names; Cutthroat and Ricochet. Tentatively, she took a step toward them. And then another. And then another. She could not see the submarine that had gone down with her, it was probably several miles away.

With a determined and revolted frown, she knelt down next to the fallen decepticons, running a hand over the dented armor that covered them. Their optics were open, staring out into nothingness, gray and lifeless. A shiver ran down her backbone infrastructure. Could she really do this to them? A sharp throb of pain jolted her from her pained thoughts. _We do what we must to survive._ Those haunting words echoed through her mind. Determination took over. She would do what needed to be done.

Though it was extremely painful, she allowed her blade to materialize where her hand had been, digging into the armored corpse. Slowly, she carved out the basic shape of her missing protective plating. It was a daunting task, taking nearly two hours to complete. It was a makeshift job that did not ameliorate her utter torment, but it would have to suffice until she got back to base. And then, grimacing to herself in utter disgust, she severed one of his major energon lines. Her lip plates pressed down to the laceration, resisting the desire to purge as she tasted the diluted energy slipping down her throat. _We do what we must to survive. _She repeated over and over in her head frantically. _We do what we must to survive. _When she was finished, her sad optics regarded him with pity. "I'm sorry for all of this.... But, it was what needed to be done." Vertigo told him softly.

She crouched, then propelled herself to the surface of the ocean. The femme transformed, crying out in agony as her entire structure threatened to collapse. It never did, and her misery continued.

Vertigo flew, energon leaking from various lines as she went. Sparks flew from minor exposed wires that opened with the gashes along her wings. Weakly, she locked onto the last signal that she had received from Optimus. This was going to be a long flight.

And it was. It was perhaps the longest flight that she had ever had to endure besides the practice endurance training runs that she had flown with Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker. However, those had been long ago, nearly forgotten, and on a full tank of pure viscous energon. Now she was despairingly alone and mortally wounded. And so the endless minutes of agony turned into endless hours of agony as she continued on her path, wobbling and nearly crash landing several times. But she picked herself up and continued on, no matter what happened.

She needed to get back to them, to him. The sooner that she was back, the sooner that she be able to rest, and the sooner that she could receive professional repairs. It would also mean that she would be able to clear the air with Optimus. She wasn't ready for him to know... not yet.

The femme bit back a cry of anguish as the pain continued to ravage what was left of her body. She needed to endure for now, she would be able to rest soon. Her pain receptors were on end, calling out red alerts to her cerebral processor as her flight continued.

She homed in on her leader's signal as she drew closer to where their transmission had ended. Forests of evergreens whipped by underneath her, and she altered her course to create a more direct route to reach her comrades. Their signals were moving fast, though, causing Vertigo's wing tip to nearly clip when it struck the top of a particularly tall tree. She would reach them, that much she vowed herself.

Her pace quickened as his signal grew stronger, only a few miles away from where she was. She darted over the lush Pennsylvanian forest. And that was when her spark stopped, frozen as the scene before her unfolded.

* * *

He had always planed on dying. It was an inevitable, inescapable outcome of life. There was life, and then you died. And being who he was, he was always prepared to face the worst. He was always prepared to deal with what could and would happen. Death was a part of this. He had always known that it would come to meet him. And, in a way, he was alright with that. But, he had never thought out the gory details of how, where and why he would die. Those morbid thoughts had never entertained his processors for more than a mere nanoklick or so before they had been shot down by the call of his overwhelming duties. When he had been younger, he thought that perhaps he would be one of the few to offline from sheer old age, something nearly unheard of to his mechanical race. He had never thought that he would die in battle; those thoughts had crept up much later in life, after the war had begun. But even then, he would never have even imagined the circumstances from whence he would leave this universe. Never considered by whose hand it would be by, on what planet it would be on. In his many years of life, he had never once thought that his brother would follow through with his threats. There had been fear, of course, that he might attempt to. But, of him actually succeeding? Of that there had been a heavy dose of doubt.

He had already chosen his successor, the faithful brother who had always stood by his side. However, he was off-world and much too far to direct the autobots in their war on Earth. He had never thought that Magnus would not be beside him when he died, he had not planned on that. It was not that he did not trust Ironhide or Ratchet. Leadership in many ways was a curse, a curse that neither of his dear friends were ready for. Ironhide did not have the patience while Ratchet already struggled with his duties as Chief Medical Officer. Of all of the inconvenient times to offline, now would be one.

He had always thought that if he were indeed to die, it would be in defending the weak. In that, his plans had panned out. In death, he was defending his young human charge. At that, he felt the need to rest. If he were about to die, then it was with a purpose. And he nearly smiled to himself in the fact that with his own death, another was given the chance at life. Yes, inwardly, he smiled. It was all that he could do now. He would become one with the Matrix at last, there to share his wisdom with all who needed it. But, something felt nearly surreal to him. Something caught his thoughts off guard.

He had always imagined that in death, Elita would be the one to greet him, to guide him to the sacred artifact of knowledge and compassion. He had thought that she would have been the one that his forefathers would send to him in the throes of being sent into another state of being. He had never thought that a jet black Raptor would be the one rushing to meet him. But then he supposed that perhaps, just like life, death was not something that he could have ever predicted.

* * *

It was as if time had ceased to flow. There was nothing more than what she saw, what she felt, what she had never imagined could happen. That bayonet piercing his chassis as he struggled to throw it off. The way he still tried to save the small human youngling as it ran for cover. The explosion of his laser core chamber, signaling a finality to his life. The way he fell unceremoniously sending a tremor through the Earth on which he landed ungracefully. Everything slowed.

She could vaguely hear the bullets as they whizzed through the air, vaguely hear the sound of the fighting. There was a scream coming from somewhere, perhaps it was even from herself. But, she wasn't sure that it mattered. What mattered was her fallen leader, dented and unmoving, and the mech that now stood gloatingly over him.

Vertigo locked onto that mech. Her speed increased nearly to it's full potential, and she transformed, hitting him dead on. Startled, he was flung back, and they tumbled together in a jumbled heap of parts. Without know where they landed, she punched and kicked and flailed, only to be picked up and easily tossed to the side. For a few moments, she lay there, lifeless, palms planted on the ground.

"Annoying femme," Vertigo heard a growl from somewhere. But, it didn't matter. Her energy was spent and every bolt and diode of her body was shrieking with utter agony.

It was several moments before she struggled to her knees, crossing over to her leader's side. She stared at him, then placed her hands to his side, giving him a small shake. "Get up." She said softly. "You have to get up." Her voice cracked, she was vaguely aware of the autobots now arriving. "Optimus, get up!" She knew it was no use, but that didn't stop her. She shook him again without a response. The femme stood up, looking over her shoulder at the yellow medic behind her. "Fix him." She said, voice succumbing to grief and exhaustion.

Ratchet went to his side, performing a few superfluous scans to confirm what they all knew. He looked up at the dark, tattered femme, shaking his head sadly. There were no words that he could say to make it all better. He didn't even have the words to comfort himself.

Vertigo just looked emptily at him, optics blinking numbly. Her legs gave out, but she never hit the ground. Instead, she landed in a warm embrace. A hand stroked her head gently, and a soft voice murmured in her audio receptors. "I love you, Vertigo." He rocked her slowly, repeating it over and over. "I love you. I love you." She buried her head in his silver chassis, wanting to escape from the pain that was overtaking her thoughts, her body. "Dear Primus, I love you, Vertigo."

"Sideswipe," Ratchet interrupted the young mech's soft whispers. "I need to take a look at Vertigo." His voice was filled with despair and spark-ache. The embrace left her, though his arm still supported her as she threatened to collapse. The medic's gaze was scrutinizing. "We need to get her back to base as soon as possible." He thought out loud. Though he was unable to save one life, perhaps he could save another.

She looked at Optimus, spark wrenching into so many little pieces. "There's no hope left." She rasped, more dead than she had ever been.


	24. collapse

**Thank you for all of the lovely reviews, you make me feel special… in a good way. So yeah, I know that the past few chapters were really sad and angsty and full of spark-ache, well guess what? It doesn't get any better for a while. YAY! (I must be a masochist for even continuing to write this. It hurts so good! :'( ) But, anyways, on to the next chapter.**

* * *

His spark gave a lurch, she was alive. Close enough to touch, yet so far from him that it wasn't even laughable. He stood, frozen to his spot by her scream; whether it had been from anger of terror he was uncertain. The seeker frowned, that lovely scream… that beautifully overwhelming sorrowful wail belonged to not to him, but to another mech. Another mech with different ideals, different plans, and a decimated spark. Her emotional agony dedicated to the last, and now dead, Prime. It was despicable. That scream should not have belonged.

How had she broken their bond, their impossibly weak yet existent bond? Bonds were only destroyed with death. She was very much alive. Unless that autobot medic, Ratchet, had developed a way to sever a spark bond, then the only logical explanation was that she had died. But, she wasn't dead. He frowned, watching as she collided with his newly resurrected leader. That must have been painful, but he could feel no pain in it, no pain through their unwoven bond. Her fury, her emotional spark-ache, he could not feel it. What had been the weakest of bonds had been undone.

Megatron tossed her roughly to the side. How foolish of a move. She was so fragile, so weak, what damage had he done in that? Didn't the tyrannical decepticon realize that Virigo was weak, that now would be the perfect opportunity? Because it really was perfect timing; the world thought that she was dead.

She was in rough shape, he had not seen her so badly tattered and worn since she had first begun her training. Dents and holes marred her beautiful sleek surface while much of her armor had been nearly destroyed signaling the damage that must have lurked underneath it. Even her pigmentation seemed to be paler, dimmer than he had last seen it. She lay lifeless, face down on the earth. His hand moved forward as if to reach out and touch the femme. She was so vulnerable, both mentally and physically. Now was the time to act. Her mind had been shattered; resolve decimated, and hopes pulverized in to the dirt. Now was the time to steal her back. Now was the time to bring her back to where she belonged.

He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. He would not allow her even the slightest free-reign. He would not allow The Fallen to know of her presence. Surely he must have thought her dead just as he had. He would make her disappear from the face of the universe. He would hide her away from the warring factions. She would not have to endure the lecherous gazes of those that wanted her body, and she would love him once again. He would keep her locked in his quarter. She would hate it at first, of course, but it would be for her own good, and she would understand with time. Not even his wing mates would be able to see her, be able to know. And perhaps once the war was finally over, and Megatron was finally bored with the seeker, he would be able to move to another galaxy where they could start their lives over. They could rebuild their race and colonize new worlds, and they wouldn't have to deal with the autobots, or war, or pain, or suffering. It would just be them.

She began to stir, struggling to even lift herself off of the ground. He took a step toward her, only to be startled from his mindset by a loud booming inside of his head. "Starscream!" Megatron called him like a pet, an object set only on following orders. The seeker grimaced, but when his leader began to call a little more sternly he thought better of disobeying him.

He glanced once more at the femme who was now kneeling over her leader, helplessly trying to rouse him from his eternal slumber. Her voice, filled with so much pain, so much grief, sent a chill down his backbone infrastructure. He wanted to take her with him, but as the rest of the autobots gathered around the Prime, he flew away from the scene.

* * *

Ratchet pulled her away from the scene, her anguish would not help her wounds to heal. He would leave the contacting of the base to Ironhide. There was no way that they would be able to carry Optimus all the way back there, and Vertigo was in no condition to travel... no matter how much she could protest.

She offered a little resistance as he took her further away from Prime, she tugged her arm out of his hand, turning to look wistfully at her fallen leader. Her optics searched the body for any signs of life, the medic steered her a little more forcefully. "Wait-" She began to complain.

"Vertigo, you are my primary concern right now. If you keep on looking at.... _him_... it will only do more harm to you." He explained softly. "I need you to lay down, your repairs can not wait for the C-17s to arrive."

She bit her bottom lip, optics closing with her grief, and complied, laying down as he had told her to. Sideswipe knelt beside her, holding her hand in what seemed to be a comforting way. But the femme seemed far from comforted. Ratchet supposed that, had she been human, tears would have been silently streaming from her optics. But instead, she stared blankly and numbly forward, not even wincing in pain as he began to check out the status of her wounds.

What he found surprised him greatly. Her normal seamless black armor was riddled with holes, as to be expected, but as he checked further, it seemed that extra metal had been welded on to it. A dark gray metal that was foreign to her her body. Ratchet pried the plates off of her, but she did not protest as she normally would have. His mouth opened with horror at what he had uncovered. There was a gaping hole where parts of her life-support, circulatory, and energon processing systems should have been... deep enough that he could see the green turf on the other side of her body. A shocked gasp came from the young mech that hovered over them, obviously perturbed at what he saw. Vertigo however continued to stare over at her leader, unphased by the condition of her own vitals. Energon flowed freely from her lines, pooling on her armor and the ground. She had sustained these wounds for over a day. The very thought confounded the medic. But, perhaps being decepticon in build had caused her to be much tougher than she appeared.

He ran a hand over the torn surface, forming welding equipment. Ratchet began with her vitals. A spasm ran through her body, she was in pain. The grip around her hand tightened, "I'm here, Vertigo."

Those words cut into her spark, causing the femme more agony than she was already in. She let out a small whimper. Sideswipe was there. He was the one with her. He was the one comforting her. She had nothing left; no pride, no dignity. Everything that she had worked toward was gone, destroyed, wiped out. She wanted to die. Life held no more charm for her.

"Vertigo," Ratchet interrupted her thoughts. "How did you repair yourself enough to fly?"

She grimaced, shaking her head. What she had done was unholy and despicable, what had to be done. Ratchet did not need to know that she violated a corpse in order to wear it. He did not need to know that she had drained that very same corpse of the energon that had once given him life. They did not need to know any of that.

After a long while, they heard the sound of helicopters overhead, followed by the sound of an approaching jet. They landed as best they could with what they were given. Vertigo struggled to her feat despite the medic's protests. She watched as her allies boarded the large transport, having no intention of joining them in there. The femme instead went to her leader's side and knelt down.

Sideswipe followed her. "C'mon, they're waiting for us." He told her softly.

She shook her head, ignoring his hand on her shoulder. Ratchet called out for her to enter the jet but she shook her head once more. "I'm flying!" The femme called back, voice gravelly, leaving no room for compromise.

"You're in no condition to be walking let alone flying!" The medic snapped back, walking to her side. "Now get in the C-17." He said a little more forcefully.

"Please, just do as he says, Vertigo." Sideswipe murmured.

"No! … I-.... I'm staying with him." She replied, voice cracking from the effort.

Ratchet put an arm around her shoulders, forcefully steering her away from the fallen mech. "You're going to rest and be repaired, that is an order."

"No! No no no no no! I'm going to fly!" She replied heatedly, wiggling out of his grasp to return to Optimus' side. "I'm not leaving him!"

The older mech sighed in frustration while the younger regarded her wistfully. "He's not there to leave." Sideswipe told her gently after a few moments.

She rounded on him, wanting to retort with something nasty, but no words came. Instead she broke down sobbing, collapsing in a crumpled heap on the ground. The silver mech hesitated before moving over to pick her up carefully and bring her into the waiting jet.


	25. Galloway

**This was actually the chapter that the entire story was spawned from. It just expanded from there on, but this was a scene in the movie that made me cry and then want to punch a hole in the face of that imbecile.... grrrrrr.... I hated him. Anyways, thank you for your support, you will be rewarded in the end. :) Oh! I've been called to attention that there are SideswipexVertigo fans and OptimusxVertigo fans, but are there any StarscreamxVertigo fans out there? Haha... probably not would be my guess. On to Chapter 25!**

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Vertigo lay on the floor o fhte C-17, being repaired by Ratchet. Fortunately he was often prepared for emergencies such as this and carried redundant and spare parts within his own body. Sideswipe sat beside her, pulling her head into his lap and stroking the top of her helm. "I love you, Vertigo." He would whisper every once in a while. The others had stared at her wounds, mortified, while Jolt had risen to help his mentor.

"This cable always attaches to to the base of the reticulated thruster port, RTP. Thankfully, this confusing information only needs to apply to flight-capable cybertronians. So for now you only need to remember it in Vertigo's case...." Ratchet informed his pupil.

The blue mech nodded, "right," setting to work on following the medic's instructions.

Vertigo let them work without a wince or complaint. She could barely feel the pain anymore, though perhaps that was from the anesthesia that Ratchet had injected into her systems.

Every forty minutes or so Arcee would ask, "How is she?" The pink femme had tried to ask the injured one herself, but she had never answered her.

And each time this was asked, Ratchet would reply, "She's coming along."

In the few hours that it took to reach the base, The medic and his accomplice had nearly completed hasty repairs made to her vitals, which had been Ratchet's main concern. Her armor and derma-plating would be able to wait for now.

The lading jostled the femme, but she still remained in her dazed state. She stood, ignoring the heated protests from Ratcet. Sideswipe placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off, hopping out of the plane.

Vertigo watched as they dumped her leader unceremoniously on the landing strip. A lump formed in her vocal processor, and she fell to her knees beside him. She scrutinized his face, reaching out a tentative hand to brush a few leaves off of his helm.

They surrounded Optimus, all regarding him solemnly. Lennox strode over to join them, patting one of Vertigo's side panels. She barely felt the lightness of the human's touch. He didn't say anything, but that suited her just fine.

The only thing the interrupted their silent mourning was the revving of engines and the sound of heavy vehicle approaching. The autobots turned to find armored, gun-toting, trucks surrounding them. The humans had betrayed their trust. Weapons locked on them, and the vehicles rolled to a stop. Ironhide was the first to react, cannons not even finished readying as he spat out. "You dare point a gun at me?! You want a piece of me?! I will tear you apart!!"

Jolt's electrical whips crackled menacingly. She could hear Sideswipe's blades unsheathe, and the mech took a defensive stance over her. "What is the meaning of this!?" Weapons and tensions unfolded all around her, but Vertigo did not move more than to cast a forlorn glance around. Her weapons systems did not engage, there was no need for them to. She did not feel threatened. The arms of death would have been a welcome choice for her,... and though she longed for it's fingers to curl around and strangle her from this body, she would not do it herself. Revenge needed to be exacted first.

Lennox stormed over to the armored trucks. "Drop your weapons!" He slammed his hands on the truck's hood when the soldier didn't respond. "Drop your weapons!" He then turned to the man who had flagged them in, "Tell them to drop their weapons!-"

The lower ranked officer just shook his head heading over to the door, "Tell them first!"

Lennox didn't listen. "Tell them to lower their weapons!"

The officer just turned to face him, pulling off his sunglasses in an annoyed fashion. "Major, there's nothing I can do." He gestured to an opening door on one of the trucks. "Talk to him."

Galloway stepped out, ignoring the man until he was close enough to spit on. "Your NEST team is deactivated, Major. You are to cease anti-decepticon operations and return to Diego Garcia, pending further orders." He surveyed the autobots, eyes narrowing with contempt.

Vertigo returned to gazing sadly at her leader, she didn't want to see the humans fight each other. She didn't want to see Optimus' work become undone, there was enough misery in the world. And she dreaded the thought of the humans willingly contriving their own demise. Her optics closed, but her audio receptors remained open, listening as they continued to argue.

"No, we take our orders directly from Chairman Warshawer, sir." Lennox told him heatedly.

"Well, I see your Chairman of the Joint chief, and raise you a President of the United States. I have operational command now." His words sent a chill down her backbone infrastructure. A human was to be in control of them now? Were they just simple, dumb, inanimate machines now? She slowly got to her feet, ready to meet his next statement. "An alien blood feud has been brought to our soil for which ours soldiers are paying the price. The secret is out! This is _our_ war now. And we will win it as we always have: With a coordinated military strategy."

His response took them all aback, Sideswipe visibly reacted in repulsion while Ironhide continued to glare down at the fleshling. Ratchet voiced all of their thoughts, not considering the emotions that could ensue. "This fool is terribly misinformed."

"That's not exactly the way that I would put it...." The weapons specialist murmured beside him. The medic nudged him lightly, signalling him to keep silent on the issue.

"You're going to need every asset you've got!" Lennox told the liaison, jabbing a finger into his chest.

Galloway narrowed his eyes, staring down the Major. "What we need is to draw up battle plans." He nearly hesitated for a moment, "And explore every possible diplomatic solution."

The NEST field commander's lips pulled back in disgust. "Like what? Handing over the kid?!"

The man in the business suite eyed him coolly, "All options are being considered."

Vertigo tensed. They would hand Sam to the decepticons over her dead and cooling body. She would not allow Optimus' death to be one in vain. They would not regard his wishes so lightly. If the need arose, she knew what to do. Allowing Sam to be torn apart and tortured by her creator was not on that list. She felt her hand clenching into a fist.

The head of the British sector of NEST spoke up as the liaison was about to get back into his truck. "Whatever the decepticons are after, this is just the start."

Galloway stopped to look at Lennox as he was elaborating, "There is no negotiating with the-"

He interrupted the Major, "I'm ordering you to stand down!" Snapped the government official. He looked at Lennox's collar, grabbing his stripes and pulling them off. "You won't be needing these anymore." Galloway then gestured to the autobots. "Get your '_assets_' back to base." He then eyed the ruins of Optimus Prime with more than a little distaste. "And get that pile of scrap metal back to Diego Garcia-!"

A tremor nearly knocked him off of his feet, and a gust of wind sent a ripple through his tidy suite. He turned to look directly into one blue optic, and another optic covered by a red scope and cross hairs. "What did you say, fleshling?!" Her voice was deadly quiet, gravelly with the intensity with which she spoke. Her fist was beside him, tucked in a crater that it had created. He looked into the barrel of a large cannon, he could see something glowing inside of it and a soft whirring came from deep within it.

Galloway swallowed hard, not wanting to reply. Something warm trailed down his leg.

"I said, '_What did you say, fleshling?!'" _The femme repeated hotly, pushing her ion cannon more towards him. "I didn't hear you call Optimus Prime a pile a pile of scrap, now did I?"

Again, he didn't answer. "Vertigo, stand down!" A mech said from behind her, but it didn't matter, she wasn't listening.

"Well let me tell you, _glitch_, Optimus is the only reason that your entire race isn't ensla-"

The human gathered enough courage to finally cut her off, rounding on Lennox. "Get them back to Diego Garcia!" He spat. "And I want _that one,_" He made a dramatic gesture to him, "_deactivated_!"

"_Deactivated_!?!?" Both Sideswipe and Ironhide pulled her back, locking her arms behind her back and holding her from ripping apart Galloway on the spot. "_I'll show you deactivated_!!!! You think that you can do that to me, _Squishy!?!?! _If you think that I'm just going to let that happen-"

"Calm down, Vertigo!" Sideswipe tried to quiet her fit of rage.

"-then you've got another thing coming!! And don't you even think of putting a hand on the boy! I will personally kill you and all your little cowardly scheming friends!!!"

"Vertigo, quiet, please!" They young silver mech hissed.

She rounded on him, "Don't tell me what to do with my life! Ugh! Let go of me!"

He struggled to keep a hold on her as she squirmed, "I'm not!"

Galloway turned to Lennox once more, "Remember, I want it deactivated!" He waved on his entourage and hopped in the truck. "Let's go!"

Vertigo's shouts of rage could still be heard when Epps turned to his brother in arms. "I really don't like that dude. He's an asshole."

Finally, she quietened, relaxing, then glared at the two mechs who had restrained her when they let her go. She didn't say anything, just returning to her leader's side. "He's not scrap." The femme murmured sullenly.

"Ironhide, we should leave this planet." Ratchet said to the weapons specialist bitterly.

Vertigo looked up at him expectantly, and after a moment, he shook his head slowly. "That's not what Optimus would want." The old mech replied, glancing down at his fallen friend. He blinked with grief at the scene that he had never expected to see.

"We must protect them… even if they do not deserve it." The femme told them softly. "The Fallen will not spare any of their lives."

The medic nodded reluctantly, then gazed at his feet. Jolt patted his mentor's back consolingly. It didn't work in soothing him, but he did regard the sensitive blue mech with appreciation. He looked over at Vertigo, asking, "Are you still in pain?"

The femme shook her head, "It is inconsequential in the shadow of the events that I have faced this day. Physical pain is something that I am used to."

"I'll take that as a yes." Ratchet commented snidely. "I'll finish your repairs as soon as we get back to Diego Garcia."

Again, she shook her head. "It is not necessary; my auto-repair systems will handle the rest."

"But you're still in critical condition."

She nearly smiled with the irony. "Your version of critical and my version of critical are two entirely different definitions, Doc. I'm used to function in this sort of state."

The medic gaped at her for a nanoklick, but then brushed it aside. "You will undergo repairs once we get back to Diego Garcia." He said firmly. She did not protest this time.

Lennox left and came back, eyes taking on a haunted look. "I'm sorry." He shook his head, running a hand through his sandy hair. The Major cast a quick glance at Vertigo, "You're not going to be deactivated. I would not allow them to do that, and neither would your comrades." He assured her, then addressed the rest of the autobots. "But, we no longer have a say in what happens. I want you to remain calm for whatever comes our way." He hesitated for a few moments, finally casting a glance up at them. "They're going to bind and restrain you. And I don't know how we're going to save the world this time, so keep your processors in gear and keep thinking of ideas because Lord knows that I don't have any."

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**The funny thing is that I'm in Study Hall right now... lol. Thsi is the first time I've uploaded from a school computer. So, this one wasn't quite as heavy and sad as the others… and it even had a little bit of comic relief. Don't expect an update until next Wednesday at the earliest. Thank you for your support, and don't forget to review. =D**


	26. Despairing

** Sorry that it took me so long to update, but I had some major writers block on how this chapter would go, and I've been having an awesome idea for another story so the two sides of my brain are conflicting with each other because I really want to work on that one too... I'm not good at multi-tasking. **

** Also, don't you hate it when you've pretty much planned out how the story will end and then you're sitting in the middle of History class listening to Mr. Wynn ramble on about the era of Reconstruction, and out of nowhere a big ol' plot bunny just slaps you across the face, and it totally screws up the way you had planned the ending but you're thinking "OH LA VACHE! That would be an awesome idea!". Yeah, that pretty much happened to me.... Anyway, on to chapter 26; inspired by Breaking Benjamin's _Without You_... and Linkin Park's _Not Alone._**

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Her optics were dimmed, resigned to whatever was to come. Just as Will had predicted, they had been bound down and loaded into a single cramped C-17. But, that had been several hours ago by now. They had come with military grade rope, secured Jolt and the Arcee Triplets first. Then they had taken Ratchet and Ironhide. Vertigo was one of the last, kneeling in a silent vigil next to her fallen leader. Sideswipe had stood over her, taking a protective stance when the soldiers had come for her. They had struggled against the mech for a long while before finally subduing him. The femme had fought only to stay by her leader's side, but finally gave in. It was as Sideswipe had said; _he wasn't there to leave._

She was silent, there was no more hope. The Fallen would rise once more without a brother Prime there to defeat him. The humans had sealed the only small glimmer of a chance that they had had in overthrowing their treaty with the autobots. There was only one thing protecting their fragile species now, and that was one of their own. The Earth was doomed and there was nothing that she could do about it.

Night fell, and with it the suffocation of the ropes that bound her. It had been over a day since the fateful incursion had happened. One day since she had been dragged back to the gates of the pit. One day since she had fallen down flat on her face, any security that she once had had been duly ripped from her spark. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. What had any of them done to deserve this ill-begotten fate?

She glanced forlornly at the lifeless body of her leader. Of all of the beings to strike down, he was the one who least deserved it. _Primus, why him?_ She mentally screamed. Their entire civilization was already on the brink of extinction, why did Optimus have to be the one to die? The only one of them that actually mattered.

A constricting thought slowly began to wind silently around her processors caressing them with it's cynical pleasures. _If you had just endured, this would never have happened._ _If you had never left, this would not have happened. If you hadn't been so selfish...._ She let out a soft, nearly inaudible wail. If she hadn't left... If she hadn't left he wouldn't have died. She wouldn't have caused him grief. None of this would be going on. Of course she would still have to endure the pain, the relentless bereavement, the horrors that he would put her through, his claws scraping against her sensitive and exposed circuitry. But, it would have been a small price to pay to have kept Optimus out of harm's way. _Why, Primus, why?!?_ _Why couldn't I have know? _Her processors screamed at her. He had willingly pulled the femme out of hell. Offered her a new start, a new home, a new chance at life. He had looked at her not as a prize, not as a decepticon, but as a femme who needed guidance. This was how Vertigo had repaid him? By allowing him to die?

Lennox's voice drifted from somewhere outside of the C-17, though when there was no audible voice answering his thoughts and questions, she realized that the Major was on the phone. Probably with his mate. Vertigo's throat clenched, she did not want to think of how he was probably telling her that he would be home soon and that everything was fine. She did not want to think of his young offspring at home, not knowing that this would be her last few days of life. She did not want to think of how she would never see her father again, or how hard Will must have been trying to disguise the grief in his voice.

The deep voice of Technical Sergeant Epps colored the femme's audio receptors, muffled from the thick metal sheeting of the transport. A conversation between the two officers indicated that the major had finished with his talk on the phone. She ignored them, what they had to discuss was none of her business. She would not ruin anyone else's lives if she could help it.

The sound of soft footsteps, those of a trained soldier echoed from somewhere outside, growing stronger. Both Lennox and Epps appeared and boarded the C-17; the latter officer no longer cast mistrusting glares at the femme. There was no more time for that, besides, what reason did she have to turn on them now? They were weak, defenseless, they all knew what the outcome of the next few days would be. Such a petty difference between the two had been cast aside as soon as the gravity of life called them to attention.

The sandy-haired human patted her roof gently before heading directly to Ironhide. Though considering the mesh netting and cramped quarters in which all of the autobots were stuffed, this was a difficult task that resulted in Lennox tripping several times before reaching the large black Topkick. He whispered something inaudibly to the mech, staring intensely at the hood of the truck.

"He is certain?" Ironhide rumbled quietly.

Lennox nodded, pulling what looked like a portable GPS unit out of his pocket, and showing what it said to his mechanical counterpart. "I think I have a plan. But that means that we'll have to leave ASAP."

There was a short silence before the deep voice drifted once again from the hood of the Topkick. "You are the one with the means of doing so. I will pass on this information, I only hope to dear Primus that this will indeed work."

The major smiled at him, "I knew I could count on you 'Hide." He patted his hood with the sort of endearment that only brothers-in-arms seemed to share. And with that he struggled his way out of the large plane.

When he was gone, an open channel was formed. "So, Old Timer, are you going to share with us less important 'bots what's going on or what?" Sideswipe asked heatedly.

Vertigo's door opened quickly, hitting the silver Corvette in the side and partially scuffing the paint. "Don't be rude!"

"I can be rude if I want to be rude!" The mech retorted.

"Too bad the only thing that it'll get you is an ion cannon up the a-"

Ratchet interrupted their rising argument, "That is enough! I had higher expectations for the both of you, you're acting like a couple of ill-behaved sparklings!"

Neither of the two sports cars bothered to snap at their CMO. Sideswipe merely stuck to his silent fuming, while Vertigo felt ashamed at letting the tension in her spark overwhelm her sense of reason. Taking advantage of the momentary silence, Ironhide's gruff voice permeated the common link. "If there aren't anymore emotional outbursts, I will begin." When complete and utter attention was given to him, he proceeded. "Will informed me that the Witwicky boy has discovered a way in which to resurrect Optimus."

There were several sputters and gasps from every corner of the transport. "Are you serious?"

"How-"

"What-"

"When-"

"Why didn't he tell us-"

"Woah, seriously-"

Vertigo's optics widened, too stunned to speak. Her spark skipped several pulses and she glanced once more at the limp body out on the runway. Every fiber of her being screamed for it to be true. It needed to be true. She looked back at Ironhide, and then back at Prime, optics flitting between the two for a moment. Her unadulterated despairing, aching, hope permeated the link. The femme's optics searched the black truck that was now silent at the bombardment of surprised questions. Finally, she spoke, but not in a questioning matter that the others had deemed appropriate. "Then we must go to him."

When Ironhide began to speak once more, his voice carried with it a small smile. "We are to rendezvous with him in Egypt. Lennox doesn't want our new _friend_ to know about our plans, so keep quiet and only speak through transmissions. Prepare yourselves, autobots, our time will come soon."

Both determination and skepticism radiated from the small group, hope in each of the autobots. A few humans scurried around the C-17, checking and rechecking everything before the opening of the transport was firmly shut. With a lurch, they could all feel the enormous plane begin to roll, gaining speed before there was a slight incline to the front of the vessel. It leveled out soon, the only sound to be heard was the constant and steady drum of the engine. There was another of the same craft flying behind them, containing the remains of the autobot leader and the humans who were ready to help them through the maelstrom of what was to come.

Vertigo's mind raced, much too preoccupied to be tired and think of recharge. Any pain that had plagued her body was now only an afterthought, something that could be controlled and ignored. There was a time and place for everything. And now, now was the time to do... or die.

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**A little on the short side, I know. But, I know what the next chapter holds, and the one after that, so hopefully those will arrive in a more timely fashion. I am debating whether to split this into two more manageable fanfics or to continue on as one huge one. I'm leaning towards splitting it into two, which means that this one will be coming to a close very, very soon. Woohoo! Don't forget to review because it puts a smile on my otherwise frowning face. :)**


	27. Desert

The silent hours slipped on, this was definitely the longest amount of time that she had been cooped up in a C-17. They had only stopped to refuel once during their entire flight. This had been in Great Britain, allowing the British division of NEST a quick glimpse of their home before total bedlam erupted.

Vertigo had not taken in any energon since before all of this had happened. That had only been what she had drained from Ricochet's body, and even then, it had been a weak, diluted form of energy filled with coolant and dead nanites that now probably coated the lining of her energon tanks. Just thinking about it sent a revolted shiver down her backbone infrastructure. Her actions had not sat well within her conscience. She had done what needed to be done, that didn't mean that it hadn't been morally questionable. She didn't want to have to think about what she had done.

There were much more pressing matters to attend to than her squeamish processors. Namely, her leader. He was going to come back; she would see him again. The thought thrilled her, there was hope once more. She smiled to herself. She would be able to clear the air, she would be able to tell him that what she had been about to say had been nothing more than a passing thought. They would be able to go on with life without any awkward emotion that she may have felt coming between them.

A short, muted scream interrupted her processor's rambling. Her grin widened, it seemed that their 'friend' had finally gotten off. She stifled a laugh. Their time was almost here. Within a half of an hour from the scream, a soldier came in from the cockpit. "We're here."

Ironhide transformed, breaking through his bondage; the rest of the autobots following his example. The cybertanium blades of the mech beside her sliced through the cords with relish. With a skilled ad careful hand, he cut the ropes around the femme. Her shape shifted, stretching, reconfiguring into her bipedal mode. She rubbed her arm self consciously as Sideswipe scrutinized her. Vertigo looked at him shyly, "Thanks...."

He was uncharacteristically serious, optics locking with her own. "Vertigo, we might not come back...." He said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't say that." Murmured Vertigo, "we can do this." A small, hesitant smile graced her features. His optics searched hers, hand reaching up to gently stroke her face. Slowly, Sideswipe leaned in, lip plates brushing against the top of her fore helm. Her servos stiffened under his touch and he pulled back.

"It's going to be rough out there." Sideswipe murmured softly, "Stay safe... I don't want to lose you again."

The femme shifted uncomfortably, she wanted to tell him that, perhaps, one day they could make this work, that she wasn't who she was, that she hadn't experienced the things that she had, that she could feel the same for him. But, she couldn't. That was not who she was, she was not about to change. Vertigo ventured a smile, "I'll be fine, Sides. I've got your back, and I know you've got mine."

The mech grinned in response, youth returning to his features. He put his hand out in front of him, waiting expectantly. Vertigo looked down, then up into his optics, and finally gripped the proffered servo tightly. His grip was no less firm that hers, pulling her into a swift embrace, clapping her on the back at the conjunction of her wings. She did the same to him. They traded determined looks, and then she turned, hopping out of the C-17's open door.

Immediately, the arid desert air greeted her, whistling against her armor as she began to plummet, spiraling towards the earth. Her optics narrowed, protecting her more sensitive lenses. She rolled her sore shoulders, flexing her powerful servos. And then, her wings flared, catching the wind and slowing her descent. Her thrusters activated, causing her to hover in mid air, watching as the humans pulled their parachutes around her. The femme could hear the noises of appreciation coming from the admiring soldiers. She flew lazy circles around them, guiding them to their planet's surface.

Once again, Optimus' body was dropped haphazardly from the jet flying up above. As it crashed to the earth, it sent up the sand around into a fine and choking cloud. The parachutes that had been used to cushion the impact lay sprawled around her leader's body. "Cover him with the tarp." Lennox said from somewhere beside her as The C-17 began to drop low enough to where the other autobots were able to hop out without any damage to their servos.

"Ready for this?" Epps asked her softly, bridging the gap that had formed between himself and the tall femme that stood over the large red and blue corpse being hastily hidden from sight by a few of the younger members of the NEST team.

"Of course, Sargent." She replied, turning to face the unforgiving desert. "This is the moment that I have lived my life for."

"I still hope I'm living after all of this." The colored man murmured, watching as a jet streaked through the sky above them... much too small to be a C-17.

Vertigo raised a visor plate, unsure of the answer that her mind would want to face. Would she want to live after all of this? Would she even have something to live for?

She frowned, then decided that that decision would have to be made after the day was over. It was still much too early to even begin to wonder what fate had planned for them on this day.

The humans took shelter behind the rock walls and buildings that made up the small Egyptian town that they had landed near. Lennox was busy telling them to evacuate their homes. No innocent lives should be caught in the crossfires of their war. Small organics scrambled under her feet as she made no attempt to conceal herself. The humans knew about their race now. There was no need to hide. Her wings finally shifted into their resting position, swept down along her back as they twitched with her mounting anxiety. Her hands curled into powerful fists as she began to scan the skies. Traces of a jet engine's exhaust still tinted the blue sky with their pollutants. It was eerily quiet except for Major Lennox's voice shouting out orders. "-Arches- trap- decepticons- air-" She heard the few stressed words that slipped from his mouth, complete sentences ignored as she waited.

Them femme knelt next to her leader, watching her surroundings warily. Epps had clambered up onto one of walls, binoculars focusing out into the horizon at a small speck. "That's got alien tattoos all over it." Vertigo's spark sank with dread, tilting her head and narrowing her optics as she saw what Epps had seen; a beige F-22 covered in ancient Cybertronian etchings. She watched as it angled itself towards them, a deep metallic sound echoing throughout the desert sands.

"Shit! EMP; Radio's down." Epps said finally, chucking the human device out of is sight in his frustration.

The major crouched down, eyes shifting around anxiously. "This is so not good."

"That's an understatement." The darker skinned male muttered, glaring at him.

Vertigo regarded the sky with a mixture of fear and weariness. "I think it's about to get a whole slag of a lot worse." The soldiers looked at her nervously, waiting for her to elaborate. All small organic eyes in a 100 foot radius all locked onto her. "We've got seven inbounds from Earth's outer atmosphere, ETA about 142.3 standard seconds. All energy signals confirmed, none the least bit friendly."

Her arm transformed into an ion canon, trained into the blue expanses above her. "Take them out of the sky if you can."

They nodded meekly in response, all watching the heavens apprehensively. This would be a long day. A long day filled with many a sorrow before it was to end. Endless seconds passed, shaving away at everyone's composure.

She was the first one to see them, her sight being much more keen than that of the small organics. Heat radiated off of their curled and armored protoforms as they entered Earth's atmosphere. Epps was the next to see them, watching with silent horror as the decepticons descended to the planet's surface. Orders were shouted out, humans scrambling to find a purchase in the sand to begin their attack.

Vertigo remembered not when she fired, but rather the recoil as it traveled through her arm up into her chest. It was painful, her body still tender and bruised from her encounter that happened over three days ago. She ignored it, continuing to shoot at the massive metal comets streaking towards them. Outer armor came loose, exposing the soft circuitry underneath, hopefully their nanites would be too preoccupied elsewhere to be of much use to them. The star bursts of sand turned to molten glass as they impacted upon the dunes, sending tremors through the earth.

Ironhide bounded towards them, cannons blazing in the desert sun as he shot with a fury that would have been enough to scare Unicron himself from his perch on the throne of the Pit. And so it began.

Vertigo ducked down only to resume her attack on the enemies; one thought in particular plaguing her processors. _Where was Sam?_ Shouldn't he have been there by now? What if something had happened? What if this was a trap? What if the Fallen himself arrived on the scene? She only prayed to dear Primus that if Sam really did have a way and if this was not a trap, that he would arrive soon. There would be no other way out.

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I am soooooooooooooooo terribly sorry that it took so long to update. My life just keeps getting busier and busier. And on top of all this, my family might be hosting a foreign exchange student because she's sort of uncomfortable with the couple that she's staying with right now. She's really cool! Anyways, next week is spring break so I'll probably have a couple more chapters up then. Then, the week after that is Hell Week, woohoo! Our director gets to kick our bums!

Don't forget to review because when I see that you do, it makes me a very happy, joyful, ecstatic person. Until next time!


	28. Amants Desunis

Expect updates to be slow.... I'm sorry. But, my peace and quiet will soon be disrupted....

Anyway, enjoy this chapter that I was unsure of what would happen in because I didn't want to write a battle sequence.

Oh, and if any of you ever want to do draw Vertigo, that would be awesome. I actually have drawn a couple, one of them is on deviantart, there's a link on my profile... not sure if it works though.... Oh well. Like I said, it would be super cool if any of you wanted to do that (I'm curious as to what people think she looks like :) ).

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Death is an enigmatic action that most people do not understand. It is an inevitable fact of life, that is certain. But, no one is quite sure what happens when a person dies. All cultures have an expected afterlife, whether it be heaven, hell, reincarnation, or the giant strawberry patch in the sky that the Native Americans believed in. And then there are those that believe that nothing happens, that their life does indeed end with death. Those who have never experienced death, and subsequently rebirth, are unable to even fathom the depths by which the soul may plunge.

Prime had had his own theories about what would happen. He never claimed them to be fact, but rather an opinion that he thought may be correct. When one died, Primus would judge them and they would either stay with Primus inside the matrix of life or they would be sent spiraling down into the pit. He had not expected what was to happen as his very essence was ripped from his physical body and thrown into another state of being.

The very action itself was surreal, indescribable, painful, and yet it felt as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. He remembered bright lights, haze, a sharpness to everything that he could have never imagined. And yet at the same time, there was a vagueness that shrouded everything in a simply confounding aura of mystery. He knew everything and yet nothing as he quickly shuttered and then opened his optics... or had he even done that?

He was unsure. And yet he remembered everything that had happened: The pain that came by his brother's bayonet, that hiss of 'You're so weak', the feeling of his laser core chamber exploding. He remembered the black jet that had rushed to meet him, that had carried him here, to this desert of colors that he had never seen before.

"Where exactly are we?" He asked softly, curiosity compelling him. He placed his hands on his hips as he scrutinized this new world, waiting for her reply. It was an unusually long silence, Virigo was not one to just ignore a question. His brow furrowed, glancing over his shoulder. She wasn't there. His visor plates rose in question, optics scanning the area. He could have sworn that she had been there just moments ago. She was the one who had brought his spark here, hadn't she?

He was confused, alone, and anxious as to where she had gone. After all, he had only been here for a minuscule amount of time. With a sigh, he crossed his arms over his chassis, if that was indeed what they were called in this realm, waiting for the young femme to reappear.

"Optimus." A low, melodic, beautiful feminine voice greeted his audio receptors. He recognized that voice instantly, whipping around so fast that it was a wonder that his neck was still intact.

A tall femme stood before him, nearly appearing out of mid air. Her helm came up past his shoulders, stopping just below his optics. Her armor radiated light, emitting colors that he had no designation for. Her smile was gentle and gracious, and she bowed ever so slightly to him. "Elita." The whisper so sweet as it clung to his lip plates.

She straightened up, walking (or was it gliding?) over to him. Their optics locked, and the mech looking away rather guiltily, ashamed of himself. Her fingers touched the edge of his cheek plating, causing their gazes to cross once more. "Welcome." She stated softly.

He wrapped his arms tenderly around her, there was so much time to make up for, so many words that still had to be said.... And yet all he could say was, "I've missed you."

She smiled at this, optics closing. "And I, you." There was a comfortable silence that guarded the two of them before she spoke once more. "There are a few regulations in which I must follow, please do not question them." Elita looked up into his face solemnly, betraying neither happiness nor sadness as she vocalized her next words. "Your stay in this realm is only temporary. You will be returning to the physical world once more." She held up a hand as if to silence his unspoken questions. "I know not how or when, only that it will happen."

He nodded thoughtfully, seriously as he asked, "And what about you?"

The femme shook her head, "I will not be going with you." She replied forlornly.

"Later?"

She again shook her head, taking a step back from the larger mech. "I will never return to that world."

Optimus closed his optics, not bothering to try and hide his grief. He had lived for so long without her, so long merely thinking of her.... And here she was, standing before him... but he could do nothing. He would have to leave her once more. He would have to live without her after death had brought them together. Primus must have had a plan though... he had to have had a plan.

Reluctantly, he forced himself to glance around again, absently thinking. After several patient moments, he looked once more upon his bondmate. "And what of Virigo?" He inquired softly.

Elita raised a visor plate quizzically. "Who?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it. He frowned, and then began to speak. "Virigo; the black jet that dropped me off here."

Again she looked at him with a bemused expression.

Optimus began thinking of ways in which to describe her in order to perhaps trigger something in the femme's database. "She is a tall triple changer who was killed in battle about 46 hours ago. I could have sworn that she was here just mere moments ago...." When he received no response from Elita he began to be concerned. Both for his sanity and for the young color-changing femme that he had met only recently. If she wasn't here, then where was she? His visor plates narrowed, spark skipping several pulses. _If she wasn't here, then where was she..._ "Perhaps you know her as Vertigo? Is she in the matrix?"

Elita hesitated for a moment, then looked into his cerulean optics. "I can not tell you any fate except for my own."

"You told me my fate. That is not your own." _Was she in the pit? Did she commit some unpardonable act that Primus could not overlook? Was it because she was created as a decepticon? _"Elita, if you know, then please tell me." His face betrayed none of the torment that was running through his processor. He remained composed, he was Optimus Prime, he did not break down.

"I would if I could, Optimus. But it is not as simple as that." She replied, placing a hand on the larger 'bot's shoulder.

He was silent for a moment, calculating his next inquiry. "Please just tell me if she is in the pit or not."

"Optimus," Elita sighed heavily. "I wish I could tell you. But I can't, it is forbidden. If it makes you feel any better, I do not even know her."

His optics searched hers, and she took his hand in her own, smiling at him. For a while everything was quiet, unbroken by the outside world. He held her in a gentle embrace as he tried to soothe his frenzied thoughts. "What is she like?" The femme jolted him from his pondering.

"Who?" The mech teased.

Elita punched his side affectionately. "You know very well who I'm asking about."

It took a few moments for Optimus to speak again, and when he did, it was with a sort of subtle smile. "She is strong, unruly, gentle, temperamental. She can change her colors, and she is a fiercely loyal warrior. She is a wonderful flier, I do not think that many can rival her in that. Even despite her age." Elita smiled and nodded encouragingly as she rested her helm on his chassis. "Virigo is very young.... not even three vorns old. She... was a former decepticon."

With that she looked up into his face, waiting for him to continue. He vented deeply, then proceeded. "Starscream... … … abused her. And when she finally couldn't take it anymore, she joined us." His optics clouded over, visor plates knitting together. "She was so nervous when I first met her...." He trailed off. "Sideswipe is infatuated with her." The Prime smiled down at his mate after a few klicks, "You don't know Sideswipe either, do you?"

Elita shook her head, though her optics seemed distant and thoughtful. And then finally she asked, "Do you love her?"

He stiffened against her, commenting with a rather wry smile. "I love all of my troops."

Her arms snaked around his neck and she beamed at him. "And that is why _you_ are _Prime_ and not either of your brothers." One of her visor plates quirked upward, showing that even though her tone was musing, she was being completely serious. "Aside from all of that Primely love of yours, do you love her?"

His jaw clenched and he exhaled swiftly, closing his optics in frustration. "Elita, _you_ are my mate."

"Is that what you've really dwelt on for that past hundred thousand vorns or so?" She asked him blandly.

"One hundred thousand and eighty two, actually, and yes." He responded quickly.

At this, the femme grinned. "I love you." She said after a few moments. "...But it seems that Primus has other... plans."

Optimus frowned, disconcerted with this statement. "I do not understand."

"I've met quite the collection of sparks here." She murmured softly.

He looked at her curiously, optics betraying a sense of confusion.

Elita in turn just rested her head on his chassis once more, sighing. "Toi, tu m'aimais et je t'aimais. Et nous vivions tous deux ensemble, Toi qui m'aimais, moi qui t'aimais. Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s'aiment, tout doucement, sans faire de bruit et la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants désunis...."

* * *

_You, you loving me, and me loving you._

_And we lived together,_

_You who loved me, and I who loved you._

_But life separates those gentle lovers_

_Just as the ocean brushes against the sand_

_washing away the footprints of separated lovers._

An excerpt from "Les Feuilles Mortes" by Jacques Prevert. It's an awesome poem, you should go check it out... though you'll probably only find the song (which isn't as good). Sorry if it's not a perfect translation into English, I did it myself and rather hastily at that. But, when I wrote this chapter, that was the pervading theme and I just had to give kudos to my favorite poet. =D

Anyway, I hope you liked that chapter. And when Elita says that she has met quite the collection of sparks it means that she's met many, many different people and races and species inside of the 'Matrix'. Hooray for C.S. Lewis ideologies! Don't forget to review because it makes me happy. :)


	29. Awakening

Sam had arrived some three minutes ago, Vertigo knew, she was tracking his biosign as if it were the only thing in the world keeping her alive. Her spark was pulsing rapidly, enticing her energon pump to work even harder. Her entire body was under stress, weak, on the verge of collapsing. Only her processor willed her to go on, urging her to win this battle if it was the last thing she ever did. The recoil of her ion cannon shocked her body, threatening it with every shot she sent out.

Vertigo ducked down behind a dune, recharging her weapon while avoiding the counter attack from the 'con she was facing. She took a moment to gaze at her leader, hope blossoming in her chassis as she anticipated his resurrection. All would be well soon, everything would turn out alright in the end, it had to. Her optics closed for a brief moment as she gathered up her strength to stand once more. Her optics trained on her target, firing a blast as one hit the wall beside her. Her human counterparts were scurrying around, calling out on their radio to order an airstrike.

The battle had been going in their favor so far; only a few of their regiment had been seriously hurt by decepticon fire, though Vertigo wasn't sure how much longer that would last. The Fallen would arrive on the scene, and chaos would ensue if their leader had not been resurrected by that time. Sam was running around the buildings somewhere, dodging and resting at times. Vertigo hoped that he would get to Optimus sooner rather than later... after all, their luck could only last so long before it ran out.

The femme had only seen Starscream's altmode once during the battle, knocking out their radio signals (which, fortunately, the fallen Jordanian helicopters had restored). This had made her nervous, and happy at the same time. She didn't want to fight with him in her weakened state, she knew how powerful of an opponent he was... she had faced him too many times in training to forget the cunning and speed he possessed. He knew most of her moves. Hell, he taught her most of her moves, whereas she had only begun to memorize his arsenal of weaponry and how he deployed it in a battle. Besides... though she tried to convince herself that she could honestly fight to kill him, she wasn't sure that, if she actually did defeat him, she could finish him... He had been there for her for over two hundred years... no matter how much he had forced her to do. No matter how hard she tried, she could never forget that.

The sound of several jet engines tore her from her thoughts, forcing her to gaze warily up at the sky, waiting for an attack from the command trine. Though to her surprise, and relief, none of the approaching crafts were decepticon in build. They were the an allied strike team, ready to deliver a large arsenal of explosives. Vertigo watched them as they looped overhead as Sam drew ever closer. Then, the screams of the bombs echoed throughout the desert as they began to crash to the ground.

"Frag!" The triple changer cursed, flinging herself onto her leader's lifeless body, shuttering her optics tightly. All around her, the sand erupted showering her with debris. Vertigo shivered, letting out a small whimper, hoping that no one heard her. She hated that piercing shriek, those thunderous kabooms as the bomb hit or missed its target. It sent her spark into a violently fast pace, vague memories of dodging them as a sparkling, squeaking in terror. Shouts from above reverberated in her audio receptors, native seeker curses coming from her caretaker. Large taloned feet landed beside her, ending her nightmare. Vertigo shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She couldn't get distracted, not when they were so close, not when they had so much at stake. She buried her face into the dull, scratched red armor of her leader's chassis, willing herself to quell the mounting terror. _It'll be over soon._

Then, as quickly as it had begun, it ended, leaving the village a giant crater of smoking ruins in it's wake. The femme ventured a peak over the Prime's chassis, letting the fresh wails of organics wash over her. She shot up, spark chilling as coolant began to seep through her energon lines, frantically looking around only to see Bumblebee collapse in the sand, optics gazing forlornly at a small, shredded, lifeless body. Sam Witwicky. Everything... everything was for naught. She felt her spark shatter, fingers digging absently into a piece of red armor as she heard the boy's mate scream, "_Fucking do something!_" at Lennox. Time ceased to flow. Their hope was gone.

"No... This can't be it..." Vertigo whispered, the clangor of battle rising to a numbing ever-present white noise. "Primus, this can't be it..." She willed the dread rising in her processor to cease, but to no avail. Everything was spinning, crashing down again. Watching several human medics charge their defibrillator, she continued to ventilate, ignoring the grains of sand catching in her systems. Though the boy's body would release a spasm when the electricity coursed through it, he remained as lifeless as he had when he had first fallen.

A light hand on her dented shoulder plating broke her frantic chain of thoughts, and she wondered how long Sideswipe had been standing there. His piercing cerulean gaze locked with her own, grip becoming a little bit tighter, and he gave her a reassuring smile. "We'll be okay." The young mech told her. She could see the concern in his optics and the way he tried to cover it up though it was an inevitable doom that they all faced now. It was only a matter of time before the slag hit the fan. He glanced away after a moment, "I'm sorry..." There was a hint of wistfulness in his voice as he half shuttered his optics. A soft chuckle escaped his vocalizer, "I haven't been the best significant other, have I..."

Vertigo grimaced, "Sides... please don't start this..." Her visor plates scrunched up, frown tugging at her lip plates.

The silver mech just nodded in compliance, a passionate fire returning to his demeanor. "If we go down, we go down fighting."

"Mmm," She let out in agreement, turning her head once more to gaze at the blue and red armor of their fallen leader.

* * *

The desert sun was beating down from the heavens without any clouds to cover up its rays of light. The sand glittered nearly blindingly from the dunes surrounding the battle. The air seemed almost unnaturally still for the chaos on the ground. Craters smoldered from the recent airstrike, a once prosperous village left in ruins.

Starscream didn't particularly care about any of that. The air caressed his wings softly, the sun warming them in a most pleasant fashion. It would have been perfect if a war was not raging on beneath him, and if his mind hadn't been so preoccupied with a black armored figurine in the sand. He had monitored as she dove over _his_ body, trying to shield it from the projectiles raining from the sky. How it _infuriated _him. Seeing her so willing to throw her own life away for a lifeless shell. So willing to sacrifice herself for a dead ideologue... so, so willing to lose herself in hell just to preserve his body. There would have been a point in time when she would have done the same thing for the seeker, he knew it. He could almost feel her form pressed close against his own.

She would look up into the sky every now and then, watching for him, waiting for him... for an attack that he was unwilling to spring. Enraged as he was, as frustrated as he was... He could pick her friends off... but Virigo, she would continue waiting for him. She would be saved for last. The seeker would break her down and rebuild her from scratch.

Her battle mask was down covering most of her lower face, red scope covering an optic... He had always loved the heterochromatic quality that the scope had given her. The clash of the two opposing colors as she looked up for him sent his processor racing. Her appearance, so innocently hypocritical that he couldn't help but to feel that she just didn't belong... whether it she be in the autobots or the decepticons. She was his.

He only needed to remind her.

* * *

The sand whipped up around them, stinging her optics as her scope retracted, taking away the red tint from the world. She could hear Jolt speaking in hushed tones to his mentor who would give a grunt of agreement every now and then. The wounded and fallen littered the desert floor with their remains, the living mourning their loss and anticipating the end that was sure to come.

"Sam! I _love _you! I _need_ you! _Sam? SAM!" _The anguished wails of Mikaela pierced Vertigo's spark, renewing the agony that had gripped her entire body to the point of physical and mental collapse.

The femme turned to look at the girl, empty words of comfort ready... yet when she tried to speak, her voice was silent. It was pointless. There would be no consolation.

Her cerulean gaze roamed the boy's body, burned, torn... It was a depressing sight. The girl's body was draped over him, heaving with sobs, confessing her love as her own life began to crack. Something in Sam's hand caught the triple changer's attention: a sock, ripped and spilling it's contents into the sand, moving in the chilling wind that seemed to sweep over the area... only they were moving against the flow, all converging in the human's hand.

A ragged gasp came from the just lifeless body as closed eyes shot open. Vertigo's optics snapped to his face that was now being caressed by his mate. "I love you. I love you." He whispered, returning her affections.

….Vertigo felt out of place. _I love you_... Love, such a beautiful emotion... she remembered the first time she had a name for it. Why had it gone so wrong? Why did-

She pushed the thoughts from her mind, shaking her head to clear her processor before gazing at the small object Sam now held in his hands... The femme immediately recognized it as the ancient object her creator had searched for. The Matrix of Leadership that The Fallen had been denied, that would be the object used to revive Optimus? Vertigo chuckled softly from the irony... or was it from the relief welling up in her systems?

Silence engulfed the NEST teams gathered around, watching the young man begin his walk toward the Prime. He passed by Vertigo, using the armor plating of her leg joint to push himself onto the massive red and blue body. For a moment, the boy seemed to hesitate, then a determined expression filled his face. Sam lifted the Matrix over his head with a massive war cry, then plunged it deep into Optimus Prime's chest.

The femme's vents hitched as a violent shudder tore through him, dead gray optics flooding instantaneously with blue light. His moth opened as if to gasp for air, hand automatically clenching around her smaller one. Their gazes locked, and Vertigo's lip plates tugged up into a gentle smile, optics closing slightly with the overwhelming emotions filling her spark. "Optimus..." She murmured softly, hand locking with his own. The femme blinked, savoring the rush of warmth that his hand was giving her. The raw emotion she was feeling was stronger than anything she had ever felt, saturating all of her systems until it was impossible for her to look away. It suddenly didn't matter that she hadn't refueled in cycles, or that she was leaking energon from the numerous wounds on her body. It didn't matter that the Fallen would come to claim the sun, or that Starscream was somewhere out there watching her every move. It didn't matter that Megatron had risen... none of it mattered because Optimus Prime was alive. Their leader, their guardian, their light in the darkest times... he would make everything right. He was back. Everything would be alright.

"Bahaha! A living Prime! I never thought I'd see this day!" The wizened voice of Jetfire echoed from somewhere behind them. Optimus smiled, coughing to rid his systems of the sand.

The massive cybertronian propped himself up on his arm, angling his legs under him, kneeling. He pulled his gaze away from Vertigo, down to Sam, fondness in his Optics never leaving. "Boy, you came back for me."

It seemed that everything was finally falling into place, but a certain cracking sound disrupted their thoughts. Before she knew it, Optimus was back on the ground, and something had taken hold of her neck. Her tanks lurched as everything in her vision distorted, hurling her through space and time. It felt as if she were back at the Karibba Dam as the water had come crashing through it to engulf her. Her processor was reeling, trying to keep her near nonexistent reserves down... It felt as if her entire body was being pulled apart and condensed at the same time, threatening on the verge of destruction. There was everything and nothing all at once, and she wondered if this was what it felt like to die. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.

She shuttered her optics rapidly, mind spinning. She had never experienced the symptoms of the condition she had named herself after... but she suspected that it was this. The world was still unsteady around her, the only constant was an uncomfortable pressure around her neck, and a thick black rod obscured her vision of her surroundings.

"It is good to see you again, young one." Vertigo's spark stopped cold, body freezing as the ancient voice drifted through her audio receptors. Though her bearings were still unsteady, she snapped her head up to look into the archaic crimson orbs. Immediately her hands flew up to the arm that was holding her out over the pyramid, trying to dig her claws into the softer wires underneath all of the armor.

"You don't seem so happy to see me, Virigo." The Fallen purred softly, tightening his grip around her throat. When the femme only gasped in pain, the ancient Cybertronian merely turned to the behemoth machine, placing the shining Matrix of Leadership within it. "Now, I claim your sun!"

The femme's optics widened, and she renewed her struggling, kicking at the larger mech's form trying to sink her talons into him. "You can't win this one!"

He just regarded her with cold scarlet optics, chuckling. "You really are a naïve one, aren't you." When Vertigo only continued to struggle and kick, The Fallen merely shook his head. "I have _already_ won, Virigo. My brothers could not stop me, what makes you think your Prime can?"

"He_ can _and he _will_!" She choked out against the increasing pressure on her vocal processor. The Fallen did not seem amused, raising his staff in an afterthought to decimate the human technology below.

"Virigo, I do not know how you got to be so dim witted... when I created you for perfection." He mused, the frill surrounding his face, waving impatiently at her.

A low growl interrupted their thoughts, and The Fallen turned to face their company. "My master... it will be at firing strength within minutes." Megatron cast a curious glance at the femme, and coolant immediately began to seep through her systems to try to quell any more of the rising fear.

The comparatively minuscule femme's processor was racing, optics darting to find any weak spots that she could target. Finding none, she materialized her cannon, firing a blast at her creator. It caught him off guard, causing the death grip around the femme to falter. She took the opportunity to activate her thrusters, gaining altitude and firing several shots at the machine. A howl of rage escaped The Fallen's lip plates, shot of energy clipping her wing causing her to plummet back into his range. Her fall was halted abruptly by the ancient mech's hand, once again grabbing onto her neck.

"It seems you need to learn another lesson." He growled softly, raising his staff just as he always had.

An unholy hiss streamed from behind her dentals, and she activated her secondary weapons, struggling even more frantically from before. "_Let me go_!" Her plea fell on deaf audio receptors, and the only thing that she could feel was the pain that coursed through her leg as the staff penetrated her armor. _Oh Dear Primus _ her mind was reeling as she dreaded what was about to come. Sure enough, electricity flooded her systems, tearing through her body, disrupting her functions. She could feel her body contorting from the pain, writhing in her creator's grip, a piercing shriek filled her audio receptors, no doubt coming from her own mouth.

When it finally ended, she collapsed like a deadweight in The Fallen's grip, optics still unfocused. Her once black armor was now a myriad of colors, flashing from red to yellow, then to black or green. Her vents worked unevenly, failing to cool her fried systems... her wings twitched from their drooped state.

Her creator's digits clutching and raising her face was the only thing she could feel beyond the lingering pain. The outline of his head loomed in her vision, and she let out a weak growl, but could not muster up the strength for anything else. "Now, Virigo, you will watch the destruction of this wretched planet." He cooed, making Vertigo want to purge even more.

"Go t' the Pit." She rasped, wincing as he tightened his hold on her once more.

"It seems that I will need to do some extensive reprogramming when we return to the base, Virigo." The mech raised his staff again, lifting the rocks into a field around them to ward off the human ships. "I'd hoped you'd seen the error of your ways, but I guess that-" The ancient and fallen Prime halted his speech, looking up to the sky fearfully. "It can not be..."

An explosion roused Vertigo from her dead state, and she lifted her head to see the Sun harvester shatter to pieces. Then, before she knew it, she was released, hurtling toward the ground. Her optics widened, "Slag!" She tried activated her thrusters, only to have them die a nanoclick later. She tried again, but to no avail. Her wings shot up, trying to slow her descent, thrusters sparking up and dying quickly. "Slag slag slag slag sla- Auggh!"

She impacted upon the pyramid, body crumpling then rolling and bouncing the rest of the way down. "Ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa Frrraaaaaaaaaaaggggg!" She hissed out in agony. Above her a fight was taking place... an aerial fight between her creator and... Optimus? She blinked quickly, watching as her leader was sent hurdling down into the village to be followed by the ancient.

* * *

I am soooooooooooooooo so so so so so sooo sorry for not having updated in so long. Please forgive me! I just got really distracted with life, and then I had some major depression, so I went to see a counselor, and then school started up again. And I really had no idea how the first half of this chapter was going to go until recently and thus had no motivation for it until recently. I wanted to get it out sooner, but I had tons of exams and what not to study for, and then I had some depression kick in again, and I haven't been feeling like myself for a while... but I'm better now for the most part! And there's only one chapter to go until Achrophobia concludes! I _PROMISE _that I will have it out before Transformers: Dar of the Moon~! I'm so excited for it... so so excited... lol... Again, I am so so so so sososososososososososoooooo sorry. I love you all, I just wanted to let you know that too.


	30. Acrophobia

I'm actually shocked at how many people viewed Achrophobia over the past few weeks or so, the bulk of them being of course the first two days. Anyways, that was pretty cool... although I didn't get any reviews... oh well, it's my own fault for being such a terrible person and not updating for over a year ::facepalm:: Anyways, this is the last chapter! WOOT! Thank you to all of you who have stayed with it thus far, especially those of you who were with me before my long and unintended hiatus. Thank you also to those who added Achrophobia to your favorites list and alert lists, and who added me to their favorites list. And a special shout out to those who reviewed... especially those who reviewed nearly all of the chapters.

... I'm sorry that I never replied to reviews... I honestly didn't know that people normally did that until a few months ago.

There are several pictures that I have made of Vertigo on Deviantart, so if you wish to go see my moderately decent renderings of her you may go do so with the link on my Profile page.

Also, I have been mulling over whether to do an epilogue, so I guess if I get a couple of reviews I'll do it... and then I'll start on the sequel. Speaking of the sequel, there is a poll o my profile as to what it should consist of. If it goes the way it would have before I saw DotM there will be many more G1 characters incorporated into it, while if it goes along DotM there will be more fighting (obviously) and more sanity issues with all of the bots.

Have any of you started watching Transformers: Prime? I personally think it's fantastic: the CGI is great, the characters are well thought out, and they have Peter Cullen and Frank Welker reprising their respective Optimus Prime and Megatron roles. It's pretty funny, not going to lie. They imply so much slash... I swear it was written by MegaScream fans (I may not be into slash, but some of the implied pairings have literally made me laugh with the shipping possibilities...) Oh, and everything Starscream says sounds sexual. If you can't watch it for anything else, just watch it for that... and he uses the word _frag_ ::insert fangirl scream:: lollercoasters. And Knockout... oh Knockout... ::dies::

Anywhos, on to the finale! =D

* * *

He remembered the cold, the nothingness that he felt just before fire flooded his systems. Elita had wished him goodbye, and then there was only a sense of darkness, of nothing yet everything. It had felt like forever before his chassis began to burn, to fill with an indescribable energy that began to work its way through his systems. Every servo, every diode came to life, searing from the inside out until it was all he could do not to jump up.

His optics came online, blurred with sand and heat and from lack of use. He could feel the presence of his troops around him, close, excited, joyous. Yes, he could feel the joy emanating off of them even if he could not see it, and it made him proud to be their leader.

A massive ventilation tore through his chassis, faltering as his systems became crowded with sand particles.

A smaller hand grasped his servo, and a blurry black figure crowded his vision. Realizing with a start who it was, relief began to flow through him. His hand grasped her tightly, refusing to let her leave his side. If she was a phantom, there was no evidence for it.

His systems ventilated heavily, internal fans kicking in to help remove some of the uncomfortable grit that had entered his form, energized from a single, searing point in his chest. More of the world came into focus as he blinked away some of the muck from his lenses, and his gaze locked with that of the black triple changer who had only just recently joined his ranks.

"Optimus." She whispered, so softly, so tenderly that he almost wondered if Virigo had indeed said it. But the expression on her faceplates told him that he wasn't imagining things; She was smiling at him with the most gentle expression he had ever seen coming from her. Something along the lines of hope, of absolute, complete, perfect joy, of love, adoration were spilling from her optics, from her scarred plates, from every portion of her being. _Primus, this is how I want to remember her. _All of the abuse that she had been dealt, that ever-present haunted look that he had always seen, though doubted that anyone else had, had just melted away into one of the purest smiles he had ever seen.

Her fingers interlocked with his as he listened to a voice that was unfamiliar to him laugh gleefully, "A living Prime! I never thought I'd see this day!" Optimus found himself smiling, returning the femme's smile, though he was forced to cough when his vents hitched up from the particulate matter irritating his internal systems.

Once his systems had been sufficiently purged of the sand, he propped himself up on his arms, and pushed himself up into a kneeling position. Reluctantly, he tore his gaze from the triple changer spotting the small human boy standing near him. He was filled with a fondness beyond compare, the boy was here. The boy had come to bring him back, and though it would have brought him great joy to remain in the Matrix, he knew that his place was here, among his troops, among the creatures of this world. Again, he was in debt to the small adolescent carbon-based sentient. "Boy, you came back for me." It warmed his spark, and the human just shrugged, smiling shyly.

He had been about to stand, turning to face Virigo when a loud crack rung in his audio receptors, causing him to become disoriented. Before he knew what had hit him, he was thrown to the ground, crushed under an immense weight, but was released in a matter of seconds as the searing energy from the Matrix of Leadership was ripped from him.

Finally gathering his senses, he scanned the immediate area for casualties, stopping when the boy began to scream, "Get up! Get up! You have to get up, Optimus!" He tried to lift himself to his feat... but felt weak, as if he hadn't refueled in an orn. He cast a quick glance around, realizing with dread that Virigo was no longer there. His mind began racing, though it was quelled as his arms gave out.

"Pit-spawned glitch this is not fragging good." Growled Ratchet from above him.

The elder's voice was heard again as he muttered to himself almost, "Why, I've never done a thing worth doing until now..." The Autobot leader looked towards him and was met with a determined expression. "Prime, take my parts!"

And it was with the younger mech's horror that the seeker ripped out his own spark, energon dripping from the now sparking vital before he collapsed in a heap on the ground.

_'Lie still, Optimus.' _Ratchet transmitted over the comm. _'I'll infuse you with his components. It will be a major boost to your strength.'_

The Chief Medical Officer cut him off before he could protest, positively hissing. _'And don't you dare think of refusing. It was his dying wish, and you will honor it!' _"Jolt, electrify!"

"Yes, sir!" His apprentice shouted, deploying his crackling electrical whips. _'I'm sorry if this hurts, Prime.' _He apologized, generating a massive electromagnetic field to magnetize the parts.

'_This will only be temporary, Prime, so work as quickly as you can. It's the best we can do with such a short amount of time' _Ratchet's voice invaded Optimus' thoughts, distracting him from the painful feeling of foreign parts linking to his systems and the raw power that flowed through them.

_'Virigo?' _Prime asked hopefully, wondering if again, Primus had caused her to be the bridge between worlds.

_'They have her.' _Jolt informed him, letting his mental barriers slip enough for their leader to feel the massive strain all of this was putting on the young mech's body. Generating the amount of electricity that he needed to sustain the field for Ratchet to work was taxing the blue Autobot's systems to the point of reaching the critical zones, but Optimus could not let himself try to stop it. There was a war to be fought, and if this was not done, then there would be many more casualties.

_'The last piece is in place, Prime. Go!' _His Chief Medical Officer transmitted hastily, giving the now exhausted Jolt a clap on the shoulder.

The Autobot leader flexed his fingers, rolling his now heavily laden shoulders as he mentally sent the signal for his new wings to flare out. It was a strange sensation, but he didn't dwell on that as he activated his thrusters.

The same command that he had issued from his vocal processor so many times flowed out, "Lets roll." Though as he took off, he realized that that probably hadn't been the most accurate statement.

It was an entirely new feeling, the wind soaring past his helm as he rocketed through the air, completely in control of where he was going... for the most part. He didn't quite get the hang of it until he saw who he presumed to be The Fallen holding a lifeless Virigo by the neck over a charging Solar Harvester.

He would put an end to this madness, once and for all.

* * *

There she was... so close to the breaking point... dangling by her neck as their ancient leader mocked her. The rage on her face was real, contorting her faceplates into a nasty grimace as she hissed at him. There was nothing she could do. She was barely half of his size, and was far weaker than she would have liked to think. Starscream could see that... he had always seen the disappointment the ancient one had displayed when he looked at her, after all, he told the seeker everything. About how he'd wished she would grow, or how he wished she would mech-up a little.

_"She hasn't grown in nearly a vorn... I designed her to be much larger than that."_

_ "She is much too emotional, Starscream... She should not be so."_

_ "Why does she have such an obsession with those pathetic flesh creatures? I did not design her with compassion."_

_ "Tell me again why I wanted to create a femme, Starscream... " _

The seeker had usually just stared at the ancient mech after he would ask those questions, then shrug; The Fallen had not been after him... Starscream winced, he knew just how _disagreeable _his wrath could be.

The ancient mech just eyed the femme in his hands, disgust nearly oozing from his optics. He was unphased by the black triple changer glaring and hissing at him. _Primus, why wouldn't she stop? _That would be the death of her. She was much too stubborn for her own good, and then the seeker watched as The Fallen raised his staff. The only weapon that the old mech carried... the only one that he needed.

"_Let me go!"_

The agony in her voice nearly sent him reeling with his own desire to shield her from the enemy of all life. She knew very well what was coming... what happened when her creator was angered. He had tried to kill his own brothers for his own glory.

Starscream wanted to purge, remembering the mangled frame that he had held in his hands just cycles ago, as he looked upon her face, twisted with fear, with rage. She shouldn't have tried to escape her fate. She shouldn't have tried to run away from all of those responsibilities placed on her shoulders. She should have coped until he figured out what to do. She should have been the submissive femme that The Fallen wanted her to be.

The staff arced above the ancient mech's head, piercing through the air to penetrate the small triple changer's armored exterior. The resounding shriek was enough to nearly destroy his audio receptors, and shatter whatever thin filament had tenuously held his being to his sanity. The echo of pure and utter torment tore through him, and he could almost feel the absolute anguish coursing through his own systems. He watched in horror as the femme writhed in the enormous mech's grip, hands clawing frantically at the hand around her neck, back arching, convulsing. Her armor became a variegation of colors, chameleon circuitry going haywire from the disruptive energy now lashing, obstructing her own electrical signals. Red, green, blue, yellow, the colors danced around her protective plating, violet, silver, black, orange. He couldn't turn away.

When the screams finally faded, the Decepticon Air Commander found himself gasping to cool his systems, scarlet optics wide with relief as his spark rate began to return to normal. Beside him his leader just watched them with a sort of vapid curiosity.

Starscream's comm. whirred to life, Megatron's voice flowing through his mind. '_Who is this __femme that The Fallen is so keen on bringing back to the Nemesis with us?' _

Startled, the seeker stole a quick glance at him, _'She is his latest creation, my Lord. __Designation: Virigo.'_

The Decepticon leader seemed to be amused by this, _'It has been a long time since we have had a femme among our _ranks.' Came his nearly gleeful reply. '_She seems to be rather... _spirited_, doesn't she?'_

Starscream winced internally at the older mech's choice of words, regarding the almost lifeless form now dangling from The Fallen's grip. _'That would be the correct assumption...'_

_ 'Excellent.' _A smooth chuckle escaped his vocals, reminding his subordinate why they all followed him: he was incarnate of calmly controlled madness. _'I do so _enjoy_ breaking those ones.'_

Indignant outrage filled the seeker with those words, _She was **his.**_ It just as when Skywarp had begun to realize that Virigo was, indeed, a femme... though his trine mate was much slower on the uptake than his leader. Unfortunately, Starscream could not simply attack Megatron like he had with Skywarp. That would be suicide in and of itself, and he was in no hurry to die. _'She is one not easily broke, _my liege_.'_ He hissed over their connection before severing the link, casting a surreptitious glare in the other mech's direction before returning his gaze to the femme.

The seeker nearly choked as Vertigo's wings twitched, and her optics tried to focus on her creator, a weak growl coming from her throat. The Fallen spoke softly to her, sweetly even... if it had come from any other mech. "Now, Virigo, you will watch the destruction of this wretched planet."

It was a low blow to the femme, Starscream knew it. Of all of the things that the ancient mech could have put her through, he knew that that was the worst. She may have been a difficult femme, spirited to the point of being recalcitrant, but if one thing could break her... the destruction of this planet would be it. She was much too compassionate to ever recover from that much carnage, that much destruction of any innocent life forms... She probably still grieved over those that she had killed during her combat simulations.

She glared at the massive mech who's arm was holding her out over the pyramids. "Go t' the pit." Hissed the femme softly, static clouding her vocals from the power surge to her systems. Her cerulean optics betrayed a fiery determination, but closed as she flinched, no doubt being crushed in her ancient creator's grip.

Starscream nearly winced at the femme's reaction. There was no doubt in his processor the horrors that she would experience once they returned to the Nemesis. The Fallen would spare no expense for the extensive 'reprogramming' that she would have to go through. Primus, she had never been so utterly stupid as to directly oppose The Fallen after such an attack before. Of course she had been an undaunted femme, refusing to bow down to any of them, refusing to be curbed by the constant torment that she was put through on a daily basis... but even she had had her limits... Until now.

That fire in her optics, that unadulterated, defiant passion that radiated off of her in waves despite near near lifeless state. He had never seen such pure, untamable, disobedience coming from her before... and yet somehow, he couldn't help but admire that. He knew that it was utter insanity... absolute, utter insanity to oppose her very reason for existence, but the sheer indomitability of her spark was almost inspiring. And it was then that he realized that she really was a fool. A lovely, determined, courageous fool... and the seeker found himself wanting her all the more for it.

His proximity sensors alerted him to an incoming signature, and he turned around only to be struck speechless by the image of the newly resurrected Prime hurtling through the air towards them. Never in his several millions of years of existence had he seen the Prime fly... though the Air Commander noted vainly that the other mech's flight was much more crude and straightforwardly predictable than his own.

That didn't stop the impact from hurting though.

It felt as if his chest had just exploded as he was hit then flung out of the mech's way. The tough armored plates dented, cutting into his protoform uncomfortably. His thrusters activated straightening out his path through the air, righting his position. Starscream regained his aerial balance just in time to watch the soar harvester shatter, and The Fallen to release his prized experiment to engage his descendant in battle, Decepticon leader by his side.

The seeker watched in pained horror as the femme plummeted through the air, wings frantically flaring in an attempt to remain airborne, to avoid a crash, the familiar spark of a thruster as it sputtered and died enveloped her several times. And then she collided head-on with the ancient structures, body twisting at odd angles as she continued to roll and bounce down to the sand. It was a pitiful sight.

Without even thinking, he made his way over to her, descending onto the sand to get a look at the dazed, tortured femme. One of her wings was twisted at on odd angle, it appeared to be almost dislocated from her body... The Decepticon Air Commander cringed, knowing all too well what pain she must have been in... a broken wing was the worst injury that any flier could face... The sensitive appendages were just that: Sensitive beyond belief. To have a broken one and not be screaming in agony or unconscious was a test of absolute control... although he knew from experience that the pain would fade to a dull ache in a matter of moments once it was reset. But he could hear her vents cycling unevenly, see her clawed fingers clenched tightly around the sand, the steely expression in her optics as she bit down on her lower lip. She did not even notice him.

"You are a glitched up, foolish femme... you do realize this." Stated Starscream after a few klicks, taking a few steps closer so that he could seat himself on the pyramid looking down on her.

Vertigo exhaled strongly, only to inhale quickly, body quivering with her agony. "Go... frag yourself." She struggled to spit out venomously, crystal blue optics casting him a glower... which didn't last very long as she winced, faceplates contorting in pain, body arching and writhing in clear anguish. Starscream couldn't help but shake his helm... even with everything that she must have gone through in the past few days, she was more spirited than she had ever been.

He knelt down beside her wing, casting her a look of frustration. "What you did was beyond stupid." The seeker murmured, crimson optics locking onto hers. They were filled with a guarded expression, though he could see some fear there. He almost smirked, of course she still felt fear... She just managed to get past it. Placing a hand delicately on her wingtip, he heard her elicit a groan of pain.

"Yeah, well, some of us actually abide by a moral code." Hissed Vertigo, biting back a yelp when the mech's other hand found where the breakage was. "Get your pit-spawned, mother slagging hands off me you fragging glitch!" She nearly screeched, wriggling, trying to free herself from his grasp, only resulting in hitting the damaged wing against a piece of debris. "Fuck!" Came her agonized cry.

"I'm trying to help, you slag-headed aft!" The Decepticon Air Commander snarled, "Hold yourself still!" he tightened his grip on her appendage, causing her to whimper, but she complied, claws digging into her arms as she wrapped them around herself. When he had positioned his hands, he gazed at her blandly, "This will be painful." Stated Starscream.

As soon as she nodded, optics shuttering in anticipation of the agony, he pushed down, straightening the bend in her wing with one quick movement.

For a second time that day, she screamed. Servos filling with the fire that was coming from her wing. When the torment finally subsided, she was left feeling raw, soreness claiming ever inch of her body, but it was better than the everlasting torture that had consumed her wing mere moments ago. The mech's claws rubbed soothing circles on the other flight appendage of that side.

Groggily, she turned her head to meet the optics of the seeker she knew all-too intimately. "Why'd you help me?" she rasped after a pregnant pause.

Starscream just met her gaze knowingly, then cast her a dark look, scowling. "You had best hope that your Prime can defeat _him_." He replied sullenly, looking away.

Her visor plates angled downward in confusion, lip plates slightly parted from her recent panting, "But he is of the opposing faction, I thought _you_ of all people would rather him dead than one of your own."

When he looked at her once more, it was with a pained expression. _I'm far too attached to you. _His processors whispered morosely. "I still hate him," He muttered, optics taking in her look of complete bemusement. "I just hate The Fallen more." It was not a complete lie... he did hate the ancient mech... he despised the lofty, arrogant, menacing air that he carried around with him. In the seeker's opinion, that mech should have been offlined a long, long time ago.

Vertigo almost smiled at that, catching herself before it met her faceplates. Her optics dimmed slightly, taking on a hesitant aura, "Thank you." She finally whispered, twitching the sensitive aileron under his fingers.

For a moment, the seeker regarded her with an unreadable expression, and then he glowered at her, "Don't think that this is over..." His hand leaving her wing to grasp her chin possessively, claws digging in to the softer metal plating. "You are _my_ femme." He growled, placing a rough kiss on her lip plates. He pulled back slightly to breathe out, "_Never _forget that," Before returning to grazing her lips avariciously.

He let her go gruffly, leaving the femme stunned in his wake, and turned to go aid his leader.

* * *

He watched as his brother left, not attempting to stop him. What would have been the point? The older Cybertronian would just break free, though it was unsettling, looking into the optics of your own murderer, fully aware of who they were... the fact that the same coding was in their processors. He shook it off, glancing down at the mangled corpse of The Fallen with a sense of regret. The first of a long line of mechs who had become warped in their pursuit of power.

Though he knew that it had had to be done, Prime absolutely abhorred the action... Taking another's life was not something that he would have ever liked to do... though he had to admit that it was almost relieving that the ancient mech's spark had been snuffed out.

The Fallen had caused so much grief, so much pain. He had been the first to corrupt a pleasant Cybertronian way of life... To destroy the values that Primus had upheld.

The Prime shuttered his optics, turning to look at the half-destroyed pyramid. The monument of millenia upon millenia of war and strife. A monument of the struggle to survive as individuals, as a species, as a collective.

His strides were long, evenly paced, balanced as he picked his way over the sand to the Solar Harvester that had caused so many complications for this world. Every now and then, he would have to duck under whatever remained of the human archways, but those were few and far between. Primus, he hoped that Virigo was alive... that there was at least something left of her... if not living, then something he would be able to pay his respects to. The image of the femme, lifeless, dangling from the hand of Unicron himself, wouldn't leave his processors.

Rubble littered the once smooth desert expanse, his optics swept the shattered landscape, picking out the remains of several Decepticons... and a squirming form somewhere near the base on the pyramids. The Autobot leader picked his way over, sending up a silent prayer to his god that it was the color changing triple changer.

Relief flooded his systems, catching sight of the femme struggling unsuccessfully to get up. The sand was scored with the marks of her previous attempts, creating a sort of mote around her. The mech felt warmth seeping from his spark at the sight, and it was then that he began to notice the array of colors her normally black armor had taken on... And he began to calculate the different variables that could have caused it. The most likely would have been a massive internal power surge.

Her faceplates twisted into an enraged scowl, a stream of expletives came from her writhing form. "-Putain! Nique ta mere! Ssibal Gaesaeggi! Verdammt noch mal! Pit-spawned slagging _SAND_!"

She didn't notice the large red and blue mech approaching her. Her furious oaths fizzled out into the fluid shrieks and chirps of the seeker language, and knowing just who had taught her the language, it wasn't anything pleasant. Vertigo struggled once more, collapsing onto her back. "It would appear that you require assistance." Came the mech's baritone vocals, tinted with amusement.

Startled the femme looked up at him, cerulean optics wide like a sparkling who had just been caught stealing an energon treat... It was enough to make a bot wonder if all of those curses had really just poured from her slightly parted lip plates. "Optimus." Her voice was soft, though it had a worn rasp to it that was unfamiliar to him... as if it had been over used. After a few moments, she must have realized that she had been gaping at her leader, and stammered out, "Um n-no, I've got this." Vertigo planted her hands in the sand, pushing herself upwards, though her hands slipped and she remained still on the ground. She glanced up at the Prime self consciously

"Are you sure?" Responded the mech, raising a visor plate suspiciously. The femme was still struggling to stand, limbs scrabbling against the dreaded sand in her vain attempts.

She nodded grimly, "Yeah. Just... give me a minute." She grunted trying with a determined expression to right her position.

After a few more tries, she laid there, sprawled out on the desert floor, positively glaring at the sky... Under no circumstances did the triple changer want to appear weak to her commander. Just being in her condition was bad enough... she could still feel Starscream's claws on her wings... her face... and now she couldn't even accomplish the simple task of rising to a standing position. Primus, she felt ashamed. She shuttered her optics tightly for a moment, opening them to find a hand stretched out toward her invitingly. Vertigo met his understanding gaze... and nearly broke.

Tentatively, she grasped the proffered servo, wincing as stiff legs were given weight to support. All of her joints creaked, grated irritatedly on the sand that had infiltrated and clogged them up. Her wings however felt relieved from the constant grating against the soil, twitching from their sore states.

Vertigo let out a groan of pain as her body righted itself, abused from the constant battle. When she was finally standing, she shifted her weight, causing her to lose her already shaky balance and stumbled forward. The hand that wasn't caught in the Prime's grip flew forward to cushion her impact, but instead it met against a broad, metallic expanse which she steadied herself on; optics closing as she rested her forehelm against it in utter frustration. Primus she wished she were stronger...

The image of Riccochet lying on the sea floor, lifeless flashed through her processors, cold, dead optics staring out into nothing in horror. The taste of his energon as it slipped down her throat. The image of Breakneck, mirth gone awry as her blade impaled his spark chamber, the sickening look on his face as he died by her hand... Hearing the news that the metal she had been set to process was his. Breachbreak as the light left his optics, the sound of metal groaning in protest as the rocks tore through his small form. None of them would leave her alone, and she shuddered, revolted at her weak self.

A large, strong arm wrapped around her, gently holding her close, and startling her enough to open her optics... It was only then that she realized just _who_ she was leaning on.

With a start, her hand released the chunk of armor that she didn't realize she had gripped... tightly to dent. The triple changer regarded him with pure, innocent, guilt and repentance. "I'm so sorry!" She stammered, struggling her way out of hid embrace as she backed up, stumbling and nearly falling twice. "That was inappropriate of me, I didn't realize-" She fumbled for words, finally crashing down on her aft.

The femme let out a groan, mentally berating herself... but the image of the dead would not leave her mind. She found herself hanging her helm, antennae drooping as she confessed, "I've done some terrible things." The words were whispered, escaping her vocal processors with a sob, quivering. How could anyone forgive her? _We do what we must to survive._

Optimus knelt beside her, gently placing his massive hand on her shoulder, regarding her with a knowing, haunted look. When he finally spoke, it was in a wistful tone, ancient, wizened, experienced. "War is a terrible thing, Virigo. It is a crusher of hopes and dreams, a destroyer of innocence, and it can even cause us to descend to the depths of the pit just to survive. We have _all_ been tainted by the constant battles, but that you can still realize it, and mourn, and grow from it, is enough to know that there is much good in you."

Her wings twitched, and she finally raised her helm to look at him resignation and sadness welling up in her cobalt optics. She didn't say anything, gazed up at him, locking their blue stares... and then, after what seemed to be an eternal silence, she looked away. "So, um... About my last transmission... I... I-" She changed the subject, though her body language made it clear that he had done well in comforting her.

The Autobot leader's audio receptors perked up, remembering the broken confession distinctly well. His spark nearly skipped a beat, visor plates raising expectantly... he knew what she would say.

"I was just going to tell you that... I," Vertigo trailed off, pausing to collect her thoughts. It was now or never. "I just wanted to tell you how... _glad _I am to serve under you... and how much all you've done means to me..." She stated shyly. _Primus _that sounded terrible to her audio receptors. She couldn't do it... Vertigo couldn't let him know... not just yet.

Optimus just smiled, "Of course, Virigo, and I, you." His voice was filled with amusement.

When she finally met his optics, they just twinkled with understanding, and emotion that caused her spark to stop. Before she knew it, Prime's arms moved deftly under her, lifting her as he stood, holding the femme close to his chassis, though he was careful to avoid crushing the joints holding her wings to her back and shoulders. He proceeded with a smirk, heading to where the others had gathered.

Stunned, Vertigo finally found the words to speak, "I- I can walk, there's really no need to inconvenience yourself," She stammered awkwardly, not used to the closeness that he was offering.

"It's no inconvenience, Virigo. A Prime lives to serve his people." He stated smoothly, looking down at the femme he was carrying. She merely regarded him with wide optics... savoring the moment he had created. It was nice to be in his arms, away from the horrors and hatred she was so used to.

Noticing the large thrusters on his back as she inconspicuously allowed her optics to take in his form, she remembered the aerial fight between him and her creator. A smile too over her faceplates, "So," Began the femme, "How was your first taste of flight?" She wondered if he had savored the feeling just as she had, the wind rushing around her armor, the freedom of the skies.

The mech chuckled, "It was not bad, but I think I prefer to keep my feet on the ground." Optimus replied, casting her an amused look.

She laughed, not surprised by his sentiments in the least. It was a different sensation, and a different world than he was used to, but she couldn't help but tease, "What, the almighty Optimus Prime has acrophobia?" The femme joked, resting her helm on his chassis.

There was a deep hum in his chest which turned into, "Not quite." He replied, amusement tinting his vocals as he felt the femme's body quiver with laughter, "But I will leave the flying to you, if it's all the same." He gazed down at her weary form fondly, catching her optics. "You're exhausted. Recharge, Virigo, all is well." Murmured the Prime tenderly, watching as she nodded with a groggy smile, and her optics slid closed.

She was safe. She was protected. She was in the arms of Optimus Prime; all was , _indeed,_ well. Those comforting thoughts wrapped around Vertigo's processors, taking over her cerebral processes she she nuzzled her faceplates into the mech's chassis, and the world slipped into a comfortable darkness around her as stasis claimed her.

**FIN**

* * *

By the Allspark, it is done. I know, I know, it was really fluffy... and there really wasn't much fanservice, but I couldn't help it.

I'm sorry it took so long to get this out, but for the past month, I have been extremely busy because of my graduation which was only 2 days ago, and then my mother wanted to have a gigantic party, and yeah... Oh well.

Only a few more hours until DOTM~! I can't wait!

Don't forget to review because hearing from you is what makes my day. Again, I might just do an epilogue if you do. =D

Good bye my loves, until next time!


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